Paths not Taken
by spannerhsx
Summary: AU since Will is still very much alive in my story. Revolves around Will and Alicia and their chaotic but endearing love life. There's some Grace, Tammy, Finn, Diane, Kalinda and Peter.
1. The start

Will

It had been over a year since she had betrayed him. Over a year since she turned her back on all that he was willing to give her. His life had to change and it was hardly recognisable to him anymore and that was her fault. It will always be her fault. But through all of this, there hasn't been a day where she hasn't crossed his mind. Her smile, how much he hates her, how her laugh turns him on, how red makes her skin glow, how he hates that she laughs with Cary now, how he hasn't had a proper conversation with her in months, how he can almost feel her touch when they're in court.

He still loved her but he didn't like her anymore.

It was his first negotiation with her in a couple of months and also the first time they'd have to say more than "hello" to each other since the diner in New York. To say he was apprehensive was an understatement. He rode the elevator to the eighth floor and told the receptionist he was there for Mrs Florrick.

"Will. You here for Alicia's case?"

If there was one person who aggravated him as much as Alicia it was Cary. And here he is, standing right in front of him looking smug; as usual.

"Yeah" is all he could manage. Cary directed him to the conference room and told him he'd fetch Alicia. It seemed odd to Will that a one on one negotiating session would have to be in such a large conference room; why not Alicia's office? He caught himself looking around the offices, they weren't as grand as the ones at LG, but as much as he hated it, he felt a sense of appreciation for what they had accomplished here. He found his sight rest towards her office. Cary was tapping her on the shoulder. She jumped and seemed lost. She was sleeping? In work? In the middle of the day? Even from a distance he could see the look of exasperation she was wearing. He remembered how the law had been her sense of calm for the last few years, and looking at her now, Will had to conclude that that had changed.

Cary came back to tell him she'd be 5minutes. Will couldn't help looking back at the office. She was still sat in her chair and she had her head resting in her hands. He couldn't help but wonder what was wrong with her when he saw her stand slowly and start heading his way.

When she got to the room, she smiled lightly and nodded in his general direction. Once she sat down she got straight to work. There was no small talk, no nothing; just business. As much as Will wanted to be indifferent to her he couldn't help but notice how tired her eyes looked, how she looked so much slimmer and how broken she appeared. He continued nodding where he needed to and arguing his point where he needed to, but he couldn't stop worrying about her and that pissed him off. He wanted to be indifferent to her. More than anything else he wanted her to know she'd hurt him in an irreversible way but she seemed so different. She seemed uncomfortable in her skin and that was very unlike the uber confident woman he had fallen back in love with when she came to work at LG. She was fidgeting, tapping her pen and purposely avoiding eye contact.

"Are you okay?" He mentally kicked himself for asking but it was the first time she'd held eye contact since she sat down. She sighed, closed her eyes and put her head back slightly before answering;

"It's just..." She seemed to spin words through her mind before simply answering "life". She carried on with her part of the negotiation before he had a chance to reply. He just looked at her trying to absorb what she'd said. What did she mean? The answer didn't satisfy him but he knew he wasn't going to get anything else. Half way through negotiations her phone rang. Will watched as she looked at the name, pressed decline and carried on talking. A few minutes later it rang again, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, as she did this Will glanced at the phone and saw Peters name on the screen. She picked up the phone and excused herself. Will obviously watched as she paced back and forth outside the conference room. He couldn't make out every word of what she was saying, but he could hear the anger in the tone of her voice, see the exasperation in the way she put her hand up, into her hair, grabbing slightly before letting her hand move down to her face. She hung up and he saw how she took a moment to collect herself.

When she came back she carried on as if nothing had happened and Will couldn't take his eyes off her. He knew he shouldn't care, she isn't part of his life anymore, any problems she has shouldn't concern him. He could stop wondering what was going on in her life to make her look so broken, but he also knew he was lying to himself. He knew this woman made the world turn. Obviously he knew Peter was at the root of her problems, as he always was; but what had he done? More prostitutes? Corruption? The ballot box? The possibilities were endless. His thoughts stayed on this track through the rest of the negotiations.

When they were done she walked with him out to the elevator, on two occasions he noticed how she paused in an attempt to regain balance and then carried on walking without so much as a sideward glance in his direction. It worried him. It worried him even more when she stumbled as they reached the elevator and would have gone down if it hadn't been for him clasping his hand around her left arm.

That was when he noticed the absence of the ring.

Alicia

She woke with a fright and Cary telling her Will had arrived. Will; That was all she needed. Cary gave her some words of encouragement and she truly appreciated it. He was the only one who knew fully what was happening in her life right now and it felt nice that she had someone to confide in. Someone she knew she could trust, even when he was around Kalinda. She took a few moments to compose herself as good as she could. As she looked up, she could see Will glancing her way. He knew her well, and had probably already clocked how awful she looked and he'd use that in their negotiations which is why she had to get her head back on straight.

When she got to the room she got straight to work. There was no room for pleasantries or playing nice. She Just wanted this over with. Sitting opposite Will was her worst fear because she knew that even though they're not in a good place right now, he's the one person who can see through her facade. He always has been. And she doesn't have time for his questions or his pity, she just wanted him gone. So his question takes her by surprise. She runs through multiple scenarios in her head. Should she confide in him, even though he hates her? Should she lie to him and push them even further apart than they already are?

Instead of the truth, she just blames life and carries on with work before he can work his magic and get to her, like he always does.

The ringing in her ears is sporadic. She drowns it out by tapping her pen on the table or tilting her head to either side; discreetly of course. When her phone rings, she knows immediately who it is. Without glancing at the name, she presses decline and tried to carry on but when it rings again, she knew she had to answer it. She felt Wills gaze follow her out of the room and knew that he would probably be trying to work out what was going on, but she also knew he wouldn't ask. That wasn't his place anymore. He is neither friend, nor boyfriend; in fact, she doesn't know if he ever really was her boyfriend, and of course if she asked now, the answer would be no.

"Peter, I'm busy you can't just ring me in the middle of the day expect me to make time for you", he threw more excuses her way, as he always did, and she felt herself sigh. "Look, I don't want to hear it anymore, you can phone me tonight, I'm busy". Before waiting for his reply she hung up. It took all she had not to cry. Not to breakdown, grab her stuff and flee from the building, from Wills Knowing glares, from Cary's pity. But she didn't. She was stronger than that. She pulled herself together, walked back in to the conference room, took her seat opposite Will, and carried on as if nothing had happened.

She couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief when they finished for the day. Her balance faltered more than once as she walked Will to the elevator and she prayed he hadn't noticed. She was pretty sure he hadn't but that was a moot point when he literally had to catch her when she fell. She was mortified. That was when she noticed that his gaze lingered a little too long on her bare ring finger. She took her arm from his grasp and tried to regain composure.

Will

An hour later he's sat in his office trying to work but his mind is full of Alicia. He remembers the last time her and Peter were separated, she still wore the ring. It used to drive him crazy every time he saw her. So does the absence of the ring mean it's more official this time? Maybe she forgot to put it on after a shower? Maybe it doesn't fit because she's lost weight? It annoys him that he cares so much but she looked so bad. He wasn't expecting to see her like that. He doesn't like her when she's weak, but this was different, she wasn't just weak ... she was broken.

"Hey baby!" Will was shook from his thoughts by Tammy.

"Tammy, I didn't expect to see you till tonight. Is everything ok?"

"Of course. Just wanted to drop in on my fiancé while I had 5 minutes spare".

He hadn't given Tammy a second thought since he'd seen Alicia today. They'd rekindled their relationship 7 months ago and when Tammy found out that Will and Alicia were no longer friends, she was more than happy to jump into a relationship with him. He'd proposed on a whim about a month ago. He doesn't know why he did it. He just wanted to forget _her; _to have a life that didn't revolve around whatever _she_ was doing. Alicia was a drug. And he had to give it up. So why now, is he unable to think about anything but her?

Alicia

She had her feet up on the coffee table, a glass of wine in her left hand and divorce papers lying on her lap. The kids were with Peter and it was the first time in what felt like weeks that she'd had a moment to herself. It had all gone smoothly with the divorce proceedings, as she knew it would. Peter didn't have a leg to stand on and he knew it, which meant Alicia got everything she asked for, not that she'd asked for anything she didn't deserve. It felt like she was in someone else's body. Even when Peter slept with Amber Maddison, she never thought she would leave him. She loved him and she would always love him, but this was the final straw. She took a deep breath, picked up the pen and signed the papers. That was it. As soon as these papers were processed, she would be a single woman. It had been 20 years since she'd been single. She didn't even know how to be single anymore. She sighed and leaned her head back against the back of the sofa and took a large sip of her wine. She started to feel herself drifting to sleep so she decided to take her wine and climb into bed. Slipping into an old t-shirt and a pair of shorts she settled down.

She was pulled out of her sleep by a knock at the door at around 11pm. It couldn't be the kids or Peter they all had keys. She expected it was probably Owen. So she climbed out of bed without putting on a robe and sighed as she made her way to the door.

"Owen you asshole. If you keep coming here at this time I'm going to m..."

She opened the door to find herself face to face with Will.

"Hey, um, I'm, um sorry I rang a few times but you didn't answer so I, um"

Will tried to explain his presence but Alicia was still dumbstruck by the fact that he was there at all. She felt his gaze linger for too long on her bare legs and exposed shoulders from the open necked t-shirt she had opted for and felt herself getting uncomfortable. They hadn't shared a look like that in a long time. When she first left and he looked at her, all she felt was hate. Now his eyes always looked so empty and she almost disliked that more than when he hated her. At least then she knew there was feeling there, but in the last few months, there had been nothing. But right now, he was looking at her like he used to.

"Look I'll go I just needed to speak to you about the case..."

"well you're here now, so you might as well come in." She heard herself say it even though she knew she didn't want him there not now, not when she felt so low and she knew she didn't sound convincing. "Go make yourself comfy in the living room, I'll fetch the wine".

Will

He stood in the familiar elevator mumbling to himself, "What am I doing. This is wrong. I shouldn't be here". He had tried to get hold of Alicia 8 times on her cell with no answer. After seeing the state she was in earlier that day he assumed the worst and panicked. He hated himself for it. He's engaged, why should he care about Alicia? He knows it's because he still loves her and as irrational as it may be, he knows he always will.

When he hears her coming to the door cursing out Owen, not only does he laugh to himself, but he feels a weight being lifted off his shoulders ... she's okay.

And then she opens the door and he's reminded again of how beautiful she is. Of course she still looks exhausted; slightly thinner and not as strong as she used to be, but she's still breath taking. She's only wearing shorts and a t-shirt and he mentally chastises himself for letting his eyes linger on her endlessly long legs, her porcelain skin and bare shoulders, especially when he realises that she's noticed where his attention is aimed.

Then he reminds himself of why he's there and starts to explain himself. She seems to take this in and then invites him to come in. She doesn't sound at all sincere in her invitation and he understands that. Why would she want him at her doorstep never mind in her living room?

He watched her walk into the kitchen as he made his way to the sofa. As he sat down his gaze landed on the papers on the coffee table ... divorce papers. His mind was spinning. "Are they hers?" "They're probably for a case" "If they're for a case there would be more papers" ... his thoughts are interrupted by Alicia returning and handing him a glass of wine.

"Sorry for showing up like this, did I interrupt you working?" He says as he nods his head slightly to the papers on the table.

She looks uncomfortable as she forms her answer "Um actually no, I was in bed". She stands and gathers the papers, moving them to a drawer in a cabinet. Will couldn't stop his mind from working; if they were clients surely she would have put them in a folder not a home drawer? This was when he concluded with himself, that the woman he had wanted and loved for 20 years was going to be single again at the most inopportune time. He nearly laughed to himself.

Bad timing.

"So why are you here Mr Gardner? What couldn't have waited until tomorrow?"

He could hear the hostility in her tone. She really didn't want him there. "Well it could have waited, but when you didn't answer your phone, I guess I was a bit concerned since you looked a bit tired today". Why? Why did he just admit that he was concerned about her? "Idiot" he thought to himself.

"Well yes. I was tired, which is why I was asleep in bed when you called Will and I wouldn't mind getting back to that at some point. So what's up? I can hazard a guess that your client is refusing to settle and we'll be going to court. Am I right?"

She sounded completely fed up and deflated. He couldn't help but feel sad. Not so long ago she was fearless and passionate and he had to admit, she was tough to beat but this Alicia sitting in front of him now? She didn't seem to care. Not about her client, not about the law, definitely not about him.

"You're right; we're due in court next week. So um, that's it. I should probably go. Let you get back to sleep... "

"Well since I'm looking tired, I probably should do just that" She lifted an eyebrow at him in a way that he knew. When she did this she was usually teasing but he wasn't so sure this time. He pulled an apprehensive face and she laughed.

"It's fine Will, no need to look like I've just killed your cat. I am tired and I know I look it. I've had a lot going on that's all." She offered him a small smile which he gladly accepted.

"Well as long as you're okay. See you next week I guess Alicia"

She just smiled at him as she opened the door and watched him walk to the elevator. Will looked back at her before stepping in, committing her image to memory. She's still beautiful.

Who was he kidding? He would never not love this woman.


	2. The Hospital and The Scandal

Alicia.

There was no denying that it had been a crazy week. She had been busy prepping all week for her court case against LG and Will. She couldn't deny that she always felt more competitive when it was against Will. He made her want to fight; want to win and mostly want to beat him. She still didn't fully understand why he had turned up at her apartment. It was something he would have done when they were friends, which they definitely aren't anymore. But she couldn't help but feel happy to see him back in her apartment, like it was where he should be. As much as she tried to deny it, she would love him to know that she was very nearly divorced, that the papers have been filed, that she has no ties to Peter, that she could be his. It just wasn't going to happen. He hated her, and he had every reason to. She couldn't help but wonder if he'd moved on. Of course he had. He's the 16th most eligible bachelor after all.

The divorce had been a struggle with her children as she had expected. They still didn't know all the ins and outs of the situation which meant they blamed her completely. She was the one who had asked for the divorce after all, even though she knew it would come from him in a few months anyway if she hadn't done it herself. Zach had taken it well, Grace on the other hand, not so well.

"_I just don't get it mom. You were renewing your vows and suddenly you're getting a divorce? What the hell?"Grace looked furious. And Alicia couldn't blame her. Her life had been crazy for the last 5 years._

"_It's not that easy Grace. And it's hardly sudden. Your father and I have lived apart for years; we just can't make it work"._

"_What? Both of you can't? Or you can't? Cos this seems to be pretty much all on you"._

"_Grace! Dad slept with prostitutes. You expect mom to just say 'oh well never mind' and move on? It's fine mom. It's totally cool. Just do what you gotta do"._

_Alicia was proud of her son. He seemed to understand things that Grace didn't. But of course, Zach was aware that Peter had been unfaithful more than once. None the less, she was extremely grateful of his support. _

"_Thank you Zach. It's not just me, Grace. Your father and I both decided. Neither of us wants to hurt you and we don't want to keep hurting each other either. We can't do this anymore. Now that's enough. Family meeting over"._

Alicia hated lying to her kids but Peter had specifically told her that he wasn't ready to tell them the real reason for their divorce yet, which had put her in the awkward position of lying to them. She knew it wasn't fair, but didn't know what else she could do. She didn't owe Peter a thing, but she couldn't hurt her children, and Peter had used that against her. It had been a week since she told them and Grace was still more than annoyed and didn't bother to hide it.

Alicia was at her desk prepping for court later that day when her phone rang, she knew from the ringtone that it was Grace and didn't hesitate to answer.

"He's having a baby? Why the hell didn't you tell us mom? This is ridiculous". She sounded furious.

"Grace who told you this? Where are you?"

"Dad did. He told me he was fed up of my attitude and then he told me the truth. How could you let this happen?"

"Grace this is hardly my fault. Where are you? I'll come to you".

Grace told her she was at home and would wait there for her. Alicia was furious; furious at peter for not giving her warning and furious at herself for lying for him in the first place.

She rushed round the office looking for Cary. When she found him she explained the situation and asked him if he could take her place in court until she could get there. He agreed with no hesitation and wished her luck before she set off.

When she arrived at the apartment, she mentally prepared herself for the onslaught she was about to get from her kids. It wasn't going to be pretty. She could already feel her head spinning. She had to grab onto the door handle to stop her from falling. When she regained her momentum, she took a deep breath, and entered her apartment, ready to face the wrath. She was surprised when Grace ran in to her arms. Tears streaked her face, apologies sprang from her lips. Both kids were furious at their father, but now they completely understood why Alicia did what she had to do. For once in her life, she was selfish. When her kids left to go to school, she made a phone call to the governor's office. She knew this conversation would not go as smoothly as the ones with her children just had.

Will

He rushed to court and arrived early.He hated himself for doing it because part of him was hoping that she would have been there. It was a shock when he walked through the door and saw Cary sat where she should be. He immediately remembered how worn down she had looked when he saw her last and thought that maybe she was sick and that's why she wasn't there, or that she just wanted to avoid making contact with him; he was unsure which option he would have preferred. Cary looked up at him.

"Cary. Didn't expect to see you here, where's Alicia?" He tried and failed to make it sound like he didn't really care.

"She had to go home earlier, family issues. I'm just here till she can get back".

Family issues? Will couldn't help but wonder what was going o and he knew it was going to be hard to get his mind off it whilst in court.

The trial was going smoothly. He felt like maybe Cary had the edge, which annoyed him, he couldn't let them win. He heard the door of the room open and looked back from his seat hoping to see Alicia, but instead seeing Tammy. She waved at him, and took a seat. The trial continued. There was some heated debate and then another opening of the door. He didn't look back this time. He had come to terms with the fact that he probably wasn't going to see Alicia today and then he felt her. He felt her breeze past him to her seat and smelt her familiar perfume. He looked across at her and was immediately alarmed. She looked awful. Her eyes were puffy, her hands were shaking and she didn't look as put together as she normally did. He knew he was staring but he couldn't help it. With his attention still toward Alicia, he looked at Tammy from the corner of his eye and saw that she was glaring at him. The judge called for a 30 minute recess.

Alicia and Cary were talking in hushed tones. He looked concerned for her, which meant he probably knew what was going on and that annoyed Will. It annoyed Will even more when he saw Cary hug Alicia. Alicia was a private person, she didn't discuss her problems and she barely hugged people that weren't her children, and this really rattled will. He used to be the one she confided in; the one she turned to when things got to be too much for her. So much had changed. Too much had changed. Cary stood and walked out of the courtroom. Alicia sighed and put her head down in her hands, he was about to walk over to her when he felt Tammy kiss his cheek.

"Hey baby. You're doing well. So I was thinking, you've got half an hour to play. Wanna get out of here?" He knew from her tone that she didn't want to just go grab lunch or something, but he didn't want to leave Alicia.

"I should probably stay, I've gotta make sure I'm prepared. I haven't actually been doing that good here". He could feel Alicia watching them. He wanted to look at her and not Tammy and he realised how bad that was, but he couldn't help it.

"Fine. There's only so many times you can turn me down before I get bored William. See you at home later; I'll buy some wine and movies". After saying this, she turned and looked at Alicia who was still looking in their direction. Seeing this, she looked back at Will and kissed him. It wasn't a small peck it was an over the top kiss; the kind that people tend to save for the bedroom, not a courtroom. With that, Tammy picked up her bag and left. Will turned to Alicia in time to see her turn around and shake her head. He wasn't sure, but she almost looked more hurt than she clearly already was.

They sat in an uncomfortable silence for the rest of the recess. He looked over at her multiple times and wanted to start a conversation, but kept failing. During her time at LG he became so attuned to every little movement she made. Today it became apparent that even though they don't see each other anymore he still notices a lot. Her hands were still shaking and every now and then she seemed to rub her ear with her hand. Most of the time she was sat there she seemed to be staring out in to space; probably agonising over whatever her family issue was this week and blaming herself for everything even though in reality it was probably not her fault at all. In fact Will would have been willing to put money on the fact that Peter was the route of everything that was happening with Alicia right now.

He'd just finished questioning his witness and it was Alicia's turn to cross. It was apparent from the moment she stood up that her head wasn't in it. She started off fine, but again Will was noticing the little things – things other people wouldn't have looked twice at - for example how every now and then she would shake her hands at her sides, or pause, close her eyes and take a deep breath or use her shoulder to try and discreetly rub her ear. She walked back to her table and turned back to face the witness. Both hands were at her sides clutching onto the table. Will moved himself so he was sat on the edge of her seat. It was as if he knew what was coming. He saw how her hands seemed to grip tighter onto the table, how her head fell back slightly, how she closed her eyes, how she fell, how the back of her head hit the table as she went down, how she led still on the floor.

Will was by her side in seconds, shouting for someone to call an ambulance.

"You're okay Leesh, I'm here."

Alicia

She could feel a throbbing in her head. She opened her eyes but she didn't looking around. She felt tired. She could hear voices.

"Diane you're not listening, I'm not the one who needed an ambulance, I'm just in it. No, no Alicia collapsed in court. I know. Yes. I don't know, do you think I should call someone? Peter? Umm I don't know about Peter"

"No. Don't call Peter". She'd closed her eyes again. But she was certain that he'd heard her. The movement of the vehicle was making her feel sick. She went back to sleep.

She was awake but she didn't want to open her eyes. Her head was throbbing, she could smell disinfectant and she felt like she could sleep for days. She opened her eyes and just led there, looking at the ceiling. Did she really collapse in court today? All she could think about was how humiliating that was. And then she remembered that it was in front of Will which was of course, even worse. That's when she remembered the voice in the ambulance with her, it was him. He stayed with her. She looked up and immediately made eye contact with him. He smiled at her.

"Hey you. How you feeling? You look like crap".

She tried to laugh but her head hurt. "Ouch" she said, whilst wincing. "I feel like I've been hit with a truck I also want a hole to swallow me up. I'm so embarrassed". She laughed half heartedly and looked back at Will. He looked concerned, but laughed with her and Alicia was very aware of the fact that this was the most civil they'd been with each other in a long time. The thought almost made her smile, until she remembered where she was.

"You should be embarrassed. It was so dramatic the way you collapsed in front of the judge like that, don't expect a sympathy win, when you're better we're straight back at it. I'm not going easy on you" he flashed a smile at her and she couldn't help but smile back.

"Thank you for staying with me. Do my kids know I'm here?"

"I rang Owen and he's gunner get them from school when the days up and bring them straight here, its only 2pm so he thought he might as well leave them in"

"Owen thought that? He's usually not so responsible" She thought about that for a moment. "I heard you on the phone with Diane..."

"Actually yeah, I should ring her. She asked me to let her know how you are."

"Speaking of how I am ... could you get a doctor or something?"

With that will was on his feet and out the door.

She found it highly ironic that the happiest she'd been in the last few weeks was in a hospital bed. Of course the company was the reason for this. She couldn't believe he'd stayed. After everything they'd been through over the last year she never thought he'd be there for her like this. Maybe there was a chance for them after all? Maybe now the dust has settled he could finally forgive her. And then she remembered Tammy and that kiss. The kiss that was obviously a show meant for Alicia to see. She groaned loudly for even thinking that her and Will could have something again.

"Alicia, are you okay? Does something hurt?" She hadn't heard him come back in.

"no. I'm fine"

"Mrs Florrick, nice to see you're up from your nap. How are you feeling?"

Without giving it a second thought she answered "It's Miss Cavanaugh". She mentally kicked herself when she saw will straighten up next to her and how the nurse cocked her head questioningly.

"Oh. Um, Miss, mmm... do you want me to change the chart"

The divorce wasn't public yet. How it would look if a nurse announced that the Governor was getting a divorce? Probably not too good.

"No, no, I wasn't thinking clearly, it's Mrs Florrick, of course it is. So what's the verdict?"

"Well Mis-Mrs Florrick, we need to do a few more tests, but it looks like exhaustion and dehydration caused the collapse. They took your blood pressure in the ambulance, and that was quite a bit higher than we would like it to be, so the doctors going to come in and talk to you about that. But of course you hit your head on your way down which means you now probably have a concussion. Is anybody going to be at home with you tonight? You'll need to be woken up every 2 hours".

"Actually no, the kids are staying with Peter" again, she realised she'd just slipped about them living apart and quickly tried to recover "He's working in Springfield and they're going with him", reluctantly after what they found out today she thinks to herself.

"well then it looks like you're spending the night here. The doctor will be in soon" with that she breezed out of the room.

Dehydration? Exhaustion? High Blood pressure? Concussion? Over night stay? She groaned loudly to herself and flung her arm over her eyes. She heard Will laugh and looked at him in disgust.

"Sorry, but that list of issues was like a grocery list. Always an over achiever aren't you?"

She couldn't help but laugh at that. Then she remembered Tammy again and felt her smile fall.

"Thank you for coming with me Will, and staying whilst I was out, you really didn't have to do that" though she was glad that he did. "But you should probably be getting home. Tammy's probably wondering where you are". She looked over at him and saw his face fall.

"Um, yeah right. She probably is wondering, I should have called her. I can stay though, it's not a problem, she'll understand". He looked at her with an uneasy smile.

"Well I suppose she has already marked her territory, so she knows she's got nothing to fear here".

"oh you remember that huh? I think that was almost as embarrassing as you face planting in court".

"hey, I did not face plant. But yeah I remember, I have concussion not amnesia. How long have you two been dating again?" She couldn't help but notice how Will shifted uncomfortably in his chair at the word dating. She felt hopeful, maybe they were just sleeping together and that meant there was a chance for her.

"um a few months, but actually Alicia, me and Tammy, we're engaged".

Her mind went blank. Did she really just hear that right? Engaged? She had to stifle the tears; she could not let him know that this hurt her. She wanted him to leave so her breakdown would be in private.

Will

He regretted telling her as soon as it came out of his mouth. And it killed him that she actually looked hurt by it. After a year of near to no contact, he had assumed that she wouldn't care, but it was clear that it got to her, that she was trying desperately not to cry and let him see how hurt she was. A few months ago, seeing her like this, would have made him happy. It would have been a tap on the back for him. But right now, looking at her face whilst she led in a hospital bed, he felt nothing but regret.

"oh wow. Congratulations Will. You'll have to let Chicago know they need to find a new 16th bachelor"

She was trying to make jokes but he could tell how uncomfortable she was. She didn't want to be there and neither did he. He laughed as a good will gesture.

"yeah I guess so. "

"No really, Will ..." she looked up at him through her eyelashes, still looking exhausted, "I'm really happy for you" - she looked anything but – "and I hope you and Tammy are really happy together". She gave him a weak smile and started to cry. Will instinctively reached for her hand and let her cry as he held it.

He knew this wasn't just about him and Tammy. He knew she was going through a lot right now - even though he didn't know exactly what that was - and this was just the icing on the cake. She looked at him and then at her hand in his, and then back at him. He held her gaze until it was broken by his phone ringing.

"Tammy. Hey. Um yeah, I'll be home soon, I'm at the hospital. No no, nothing to do with me, I'm fine Al-someone collapsed in the courtroom and I came to check they were okay. Yeah okay see you soon ... yeah. Um you too".

"You should go Will".

"Sorry I didn't tell her I was with you she already has an issue with you so I thought it would be for the best".

"Will ... you should go. Thank you, but you should go"

He looked at her and he didn't want to leave her. She looked like a shell of herself. This is the fighter he's known since Georgetown. This woman has been through so much, how could it be his engagement that's pushing her over the cliff? He wanted to tell her he would always love her. That she was the only one he really wanted by his side, but in this moment, he thought that probably wasn't what she wanted to hear.

Will picked up his coat and looked at Alicia one more time, she smiled weakly, and then he left.

Alicia

She watched him as he walked out of her room, trying desperately not to let the tears fall until he was out of sight. When the floodgates had opened, there was no way of closing them, she curled up on her side, noting the pain at the back of her head but not really paying it any attention. She cried until there was nothing left; until she felt void of emotion. But that was never the case with Will, there would always be emotion, always be passion, and always be love. She always thought he would move on, but she never thought it would hurt so badly. He'd once told her that he always wanted to know what she was thinking, right now, she thinks that if he knew, her life probably would have been a lot less complicated.

"Mom?"

She knew her kids would be worried if they saw the mess she was in right now, but she needed them close, needed to feel their love. So she turned over to face them, and noticed them both flinch as they saw her crying. Owen hovered in the doorway looking concerned.

"Hey babies", she stretched her arms to them urging them forward for a hug.

_Will_

It has been two weeks since the incident with Alicia and there had hardly been an hour where she hadn't crossed his mind. He hadn't made an attempt to contact her since and neither had she. He was sat on his chair in his office when Kalinda came in, picked up his remote and turned on the tele without saying a single word.

There were flashes of her face, followed by Peters and by some blonde woman who Will vaguely recognised. He listened as the reporter touched upon the news story;

"_Yesterday, we received news that Alicia Florrick recently spent time in hospital due to a collapse in court. We have not been told what caused the collapse, but a source has told us that upon receiving treatment Mrs Florrick, first lady of Illinois told her nurse to call her Miss Cavanaugh which of course set the rumour mill in motion_".

Will turned to Kalinda "it was only me and 1 nurse in the room when she said that, I sincerely hope that nurse loses her job".

"_Suspicions of separation have been confirmed just moments ago after Peter Florrick announced his divorce from wife of 20 years Alicia Cavanaugh. He shocked the state of Illinois by admitting to yet another act of adultery, one of which has resulted in him fathering another woman's child, that of Marilyn Garbanza, who ironically, is Governor Florrick's ethics advisor. At the moment, no one has heard comment from the always doting wife, but since they're divorced, we can assume that she wasn't so forgiving second time round. More will be reported on this throughout the day so stay tuned"._

Images of Alicia trying to get her kids into her apartment whilst surrounded by reporters took over the screen. She looked awful; there was no getting around it.

"You should speak to her Will. I know you've been through a lot and Tammy has issues with her, but she needs a friend Will".

"It's not a good idea K. And aren't you her friend, you should go".

"She won't want to see me. Not during this scandal."

Kalinda look uncomfortable which was an oddity for her. Will didn't ask any questions. He just nodded and watched Kalinda leave his office after telling him once more that he should call her.

It was all so clear to Will now. This is why she looked so broken. Her bastard of a husband had done it again. But he knew that it wouldn't have been herself that she was concerned about, it was always about someone else with Alicia. She would have been concerned for her children and most probably was trying to protect and shield them from what her asshole of a husband had done. Again.

He wanted nothing more than to call her. He just didn't know how.


	3. The Interview

**A/N – I don't like this chapter at all. It's kind of just a filler. Thank you for all the lovely reviews **

Alicia

The day was unbearable. As soon as she knew the story was coming out, she went to pick up her children. They'd already heard. They went straight to their rooms when they got back and not a single word was spoken. Alicia had poured herself a glass of wine, settled on the couch and turned on the TV, where the news of her divorce was playing in a loop on every channel. She hated Peter in this moment. She hated him for betraying her again but most of all she hated him for hurting their children again. She knew in that moment that she would never forgive him. It was awful because this was a man she had loved her 20 years. A man she had given up a chance of a life with Will for more than once. She hated herself for thinking it, but she could be led in Wills arms right now instead of Tammy. But instead, she's alone, watching her life spiral out of control via the news cycle.

Every reporter seemed to be eager for an interview with her, and at this point she couldn't see how it could make matters any worse. After the first scandal she had been silent. She was the devoted wife who had forgiven her husband but that wasn't the case this time. She hadn't forgiven him and she probably never would, so why not talk about it? She knew that if she had to face all the slander she did after the last scandal, she would crumble. She wasn't going to let that happen again; not to herself and not to her children. She pours her third glass of wine and pulls a blanket around her whilst continuing to watch her husband talk about how he is going to move Marilyn into his home – the home he and Alicia had lived happily in and raised their children in - and how they're going to raise their child together and she knows she should be furious and probably breaking down but all she can think in this moment is;

"I'm free".

A few days later she was sitting down for her interview. Peter had begged her not to do it. He told her that it would not only tarnish her reputation but would affect his governorship. But Alicia didn't care. After his last scandal she had gotten so much crap, that right now, she really didn't think her reputation could get any worse than what it once was. They were already saying that Peter cheats because she's a prude, so why not give them something real to talk about? It went against the grain, she had always been the almost silent partner of the powerful man, but things were changing. And who better to do this interview with than the woman who had once called her frigid in front of a viewership in its millions; Chelsea Handler. The whole episode had been dedicated to her interview.

Before her interview she thought about Will – not for the first time that day. She was going to be completely open, and there was obviously going to be a slim chance that he would come up, so she knew that he deserved to be warned. She sent him a quick text saying "_Doing a live interview. If asked about us I'm not going to lie. Just wanted you to know_". She knew he deserved more than a quick text message. What she said would affect him almost as much as it would affect her. But they hadn't spoken since the hospital incident. She has expected him to call her when the scandal came out, but he'd been extremely quiet. She wasn't sure why she expected anything else. He'd moved on; he didn't care about her anymore. Although as much as she kept telling herself that, she found herself having issues believing it. It was still surprising to her that Cary had been the one she'd been leaning on the most. He'd been to the apartment to work so she didn't have to face the paparazzi, he'd let her leave work early numerous times; he really was the ideal partner. Will text her back pretty fast telling her that he supported her and would be watching. It made her happy that Will wasn't ashamed about their time together and that he still didn't regret it even though she had betrayed him in such an awful way.

That was the first contact she had with Will since he told her about Tammy. She still didn't want to talk about it. She had tried so hard not to think about it, but it came at her every day and she had cried a lot more than she would care to admit. There was nothing she could do now though, he's moved on and she's in a major scandal; again. Life really does go full circle. It also pained her that at a point in her life when she felt so awful she didn't have her best friend. Will had been that before he wasn't anything else, and she needed that right now. She had her brother to confide in, but that only went so far. Cary had been the perfect partner, which was ironic considering their past and of course, although she and Kalinda had buried the hatchet, talking to her about this didn't seem right after everything that had happened in the past.

She felt apprehensive sitting down for her interview, but also extremely confident. Her kids knew everything so she didn't have to worry about over sharing. A few days previous she had sat down with them and explained everything from her and Will, to Kalinda and Peter and she was over whelmed by how supportive they were.

She made sure she looked good. She wouldn't give this woman any reason to blame his affairs on her.

The interview started positively, with Chelsea complimenting her image, going as far as saying she was hotter in real life; which of course, is always taken as a backhanded compliment.

"_So you're no stranger to this situation, how is this different from the first time? Why didn't you divorce his sorry ass then?"_

"_It's different because this wasn't a hooker. It's not someone he's paid. It's a woman I've had contact with on multiple occasions; a woman who has been in my home multiple times. It's not as easy to forgive. And I don't intend to"._

"_So you haven't forgiven your ex husband?"_

"_No definitely not, and he knows that. I'll be amicable for our children who we both love very much, but aside from that there's nothing between us anymore"._

"_What about his job? Will you still support Peter politically?"_

"_No matter what comes of our relationship, Peter is a fantastic politician and he always has been. His mistakes in marriage aren't a reflection of that"._

"_I'd be lying if I said hated myself for asking you this question, cos i've been looking forward to it all day, did he ever ask you to suck his toes?"_

"_Funnily enough he never did. I'd like to think I'm fairly open to things so he could have asked, however I'm not a big fan of feet in general. But no –laughing- he didn't ask"._

In spite of herself, Alicia felt herself laughing along with the woman interviewing her. It was the first time she'd really laughed in a long while.

The questions stayed along these lines for a while before moving to her personal life, Alicia felt as though she had prepared herself for these questions but she hadn't prepared herself for her own answers...

"_So what about you Alicia? Are there men in your life?"_

"_oh that's almost comical. Well right now it's just me and my kids, and my law firm."_

"_It's hardly comical, you're a smart, funny, attractive woman, I'm sure there's been men who have tried right? It's no secret that you and Peter separated a couple of years ago, was there anyone then?"_

This is the question she had been dreading.

"_Aw thank you. That's sweet. Actually yes, there was someone then. We were together for a few months before me and Peter decided to try again"._

"_A few months? That sounds serious? Or was it just sex? Cos I totally support that"_

"_It wasn't just sex well to me it wasn't, although that was great. I didn't expect it to be at first though. I thought it was just a fling you know? I really didn't expect to fall in love"._

She realised what she had said too late. Her mouth was opening but words weren't forming.

Her face fell when she realised what she had admitted too, but there was no going back now.

Will

"_It wasn't just sex well to me it wasn't, although that was great. I didn't expect it to be at first though. I thought it was just a fling you know? I really didn't expect to fall in love"._

Will nearly choked.

Love? She fell in love? His mind was spinning. He watched her face as she realised what she had just admitted to live on air. She looked like she wanted the world to swallow her up but she didn't look like she regretted it. The reporter looked like she had struck gold. And will supposed she had.

"_You fell in love? And where is this mystery man now? Who is he? You gotta tell us_"

"_Apparently so. That was actually the first time I've admitted it to myself let alone America [laughing]. He's still out there but he's sweeping another woman off her feet now. You only get so many chances in life and I think this wonderful man gave me far more than I deserved so I'm happy that he's so happy right now"._

Her answer blew him away. He didn't know she felt like this. He never knew. She never told him. He felt like she had just turned his whole world upside down. He'd wanted her to say these things for so long. She waited until the least opportune moment.

She loved him.

It was all he could think about. Did she still love him? When did she know she loved him? Does she want to be together now? He needed so many answers. The interview was over before he came back to the real world and realised he was in fact, sat next to Tammy, his fiancé, whom he was ignoring.

"She was talking about you right?"

"I honestly don't know Tam. We were only together a few months, her and Peter were separated for like a year, there could have been someone else".

He knew he was lying and he suspected that she knew that too. He knew she was talking about him. And it became obvious that other people realised it too when he looked at his phone and had missed calls off both Diane and Kalinda. But there was nothing off the person he actually wanted to hear from.

The next day the news was filled with stories like "The not so good wife" all talking about how the "prude" and "frigid" labels she had been stuck with years before were clearly wrong. This is a woman who started a sexual affair with a man who she ended up falling in love with, all before going back to her cheating husband; not so prudish. The reports delved into her affair discussing how she had "trysts" in hotels and had kept her relationship from everyone in her life. There were sources coming forward discussing how she had evolved in this time of "renewal". Will just laughed. They had all this information, but not one source had managed to point to him as the mystery man.

When he got to his office he found Kalinda and Diane waiting for him.

"So that interview, that was something huh?"

Will nearly laughed but when he looked at the women sat on his sofa, he knew they were serious.

"Alicia's interview? Yeah, it was good I suppose".

Kalinda listened to his answer, looked at him and rolled her eyes. "Oh come on Will, don't tell me you haven't thought about what she said about you".

"I don't even know if that was about me K". Now it was Diane's turn to look exasperated. She looked at him in disbelief.

"Don't be a fool Will. It couldn't have been more obvious. And you can't tell us you haven't thought about it".

"Why do you care? You're the one who always told me to stay away from her".

"That was when she worked here and she was married to the States Attorney, neither of which is relevant now".

Both women were looking at him, expecting some sort of declaration of love for the woman who had broken his heart, but nothing came. He sat at his desk, and pulled out some case files. Leaving the women in silence on his sofa before they both gave up. He knew what they were saying was accurate. He knew the feelings Alicia had were the same as his. But that didn't mean he would do anything about it.

He couldn't do anything about it.

Alicia

The interview wrapped up and she made her way backstage, still shaking her head in disbelief. It was the first time she'd ever truly come to terms with the fact that she loved Will. It was ironic that it took a live interview to bring it out of her. Her head was spinning. She'd always known deep down that she loved him, but she'd never actually faced it. She knew the controversy this was going to create and contemplated looking at her phone. She thought better of it, threw her phone into her bag and almost ran out of the studio to her car.

When she got home she was relieved that the kids were staying with Peter that week as it meant she could have some time to herself, and not have to answer the many, many questions she knew would be coming her way for the next few weeks. Even though she knew she was going to be under scrutiny, she didn't regret the interview one bit. She felt revived. No longer would she dwell on Peter and his new life or try to be what everyone wanted her to be instead of who she truly is. She knew for certain now, that she was in love with Will, but that wasn't going to define her either. It wasn't about being the good wife or the good girlfriend; it wasn't about pleasing everyone; it was about her and her children.

Things had to change.


	4. The Gala and the aftermath

Will

2 weeks later it was Gala day. He felt like there was some event every week. They all felt unnecessary. However he was looking forward to this one because she would be there. Would it be awkward? Of course it would, but none the less. He couldn't wait to see her.

He took his seat between Diane and Tammy and scanned the room. His eyes fell on Cary and the empty seat next to him; she wasn't here yet, maybe she wouldn't show after the interview? He continued to look around the room, now finding Peter on the arm of his blonde. She wasn't spectacular. She didn't have the same appeal Alicia did. She was unceremoniously normal. And Will found himself thinking that you would have to be a fool to leave Alicia for her.

"She's not here yet"

Diane leaned over and whispered it to Will with a sly and knowing look on her face. She had obviously not bought the fact that he didn't care about Alicia.

"I have no idea what you're talking about Diane".

They both started laughing and then he saw her.

She wore a floor length black gown. It was a halter neck with a plunging neckline and lace placed over the black material. She had her hair curly but pulled up which was different for her, but still looked amazing. When she turned to take her seat by Cary, the hair up decision had been explained. Her back was completely bare; from the top right down to just above her bottom. She looked breath taking. He watched her smile - with her bright red lips – at Cary as he hugged her before she took her seat. He had a shot waiting for her – probably tequila – and she drank it down in one. He hated that Cary seemed to know her so well now.

He watched her from a far for a long time. She seemed so much happier than she had been in the previous weeks. She looked free. And it was sexy. He watched as she made her rounds of the room, talking confidently with everyone she approached. The men in the room seemed to swarm to her and who could blame them? She looked fantastic. He noticed how Peters gaze also seemed to land on her more than necessary. Will thought that in this moment, he was probably regretting his decisions almost as much as he was. Will watched suspiciously as she talked to one man for longer than the others. They laughed, and she smiled at him, she touched his arm and she pulled him to the dance floor and Will stared, feeling gloriously jealous.

They were the only 2 on the dance floor and the whole room seemed to be watching them. They were laughing with each other and seemed to be the only 2 in the room having fun. Will searched the crowd for Peter and saw that he too was watching, and looked less than happy about the situation. He probably hated that Alicia was capable of being happy without him.

"You wanna dance baby?"

It had been longer than he would care to admit that he had even took notice of the fact that Tammy was sat next to him. He took her hand and she led him to the floor. By now multiple couples had joined Alicia - and the man that Will could now see was ASA Finn Polmar - but not one of them seemed to be having as much fun. As they got closer to the couple, he noticed Alicia catch his eye over Finns shoulder and throw him a smile. It wasn't her usual smile; the one that was capable of turning the world on its head, but it was a real one. He smiled back at her as her attention was pulled back to Finn; from where Will was dancing he could hear some of what was being said;

"_So Miss Cavanaugh, you got me on the dance floor, which I said I would never do, how are you going to corrupt me next? Are we robbing a liquor store? Running away together?"_

"_Running away together? Why Mr Polmar, you should at least buy me some drinks first"._

Will hated himself for eavesdropping and he hated what he heard; which probably served him right. Is she flirting with him? Or is she just having a bit of fun? He watched as Finn walked to the bar and Alicia walked towards the bathroom. He took the opportunity to excuse himself as Tammy went back to their table and talked with Kalinda, who was giving Will a knowing look from her seat as he followed Alicia out of the main hall.

Alicia

She hated these events. She always had. They were an excuse for important people to suck up to other important people and that was that. She was not looking forward to this one in particular since firstly, her ex husband would be there with his new woman and secondly, the man she admitted to being in love with live on television would also be there – probably with his fiancé – so the odds of her having a good night were not stacked in her favour.

She had assumed Will had seen the interview since he said he was going to be watching. But what if he hadn't? Not that that mattered, someone would have told him about it. She was sure of that. She was hoping that she would have heard from him, but it had been a week of radio silence. So she could only assume that her words had no effect on him.

But that was okay, because she looked good tonight and she knew she looked good. She had opted for a dress she would never usually go for. It was a brave move, but one she felt she had to make. She needed to look good. She needed to prove that she didn't need her ex husband to be happy; that her happiness didn't live and die with Peter. Also, it was the first time that either man would see her in a while and she needed to make an impression.

So when she entered the gala, she stood by the door for a while, clocking where everyone was. She immediately found Peter and Marilyn, then Cary at her table, and lastly Will. Will always looked good in a suit and tonight was no exception. She walked with purpose to her table, trying her best to look overly enthusiastic and was thrilled that Cary had a shot waiting for her. She downed it in 1 which added immediately to the buzz she already felt after the 3 glasses of wine she consumed before even leaving her home.

After a few more shots, she was raring to go. She breezed effortlessly around the room managing to avoid her ex, his mistress, her other ex and his fiancé with skill. Which is when Finn arrived in front of her.

"Mr Polmar, it's a pleasure. I didn't expect to see you here"

She had been talking to him a lot in the last 2 weeks as they had a case against each other. She was drawn to his charm and his ease. He didn't push anything. He made her laugh which was a rarity these days and his friendship had come effortlessly. She had a feeling he wanted more than friendship, and she was beginning to feel like that wouldn't be such a bad idea.

"Well, Miss Cavanaugh, if I wasn't here who would provide you with entertainment? I don't suppose you're having too much fun?"

"Fun? At a gala? Have you never been to one of these before? I've been waiting to dance all night. But most of the people here are fossils. Might break a hip".

He was laughing and smiling at her. And Alicia found herself enjoying his company. They talked a bit more and with the encouragement of all the alcohol she had consumed she asked him to dance.

"Dance with me Finn".

And with that she dragged him onto the dance floor. Both of them laughing hysterically.

"I can't believe you're doing this to me. I'm really not a dancer Alicia. And people are staring. You know there's no one else up here right? "

"If I waited for everyone else I'd be a fossil too! Spin me!"

They danced together for a while before people finally started to join them. It was then that she spotted Will and Tammy making their way down. They had obviously been watching the spectacle between herself and Finn. She couldn't help but smile when she saw him though. And although she was having fun with Finn, she couldn't help but wish it was Wills arms she was in right now, that it was Will she was being free with.

After sending Finn off to get more drinks, she excused herself to go to the bathroom. It hit her suddenly without her expecting it. She was at an event filled with people who had hurt her and people who she had hurt. She was flirting outrageously with a lawyer she goes up against in court. She had dressed up to try and get the attention of an engaged ex boyfriend. And suddenly she couldn't breathe. She walked straight out of the room, past Peter who had called her name as she walked by, and straight out of the building. She needed air.

It was funny how suddenly being so free could make her feel so alone.

Will

He had expected her to turn into the bathroom but instead he watched her walk straight out. He guessed she wasn't leaving since she didn't pick up her bag or jacket so he followed her outside. He watched as she grasped onto the barrier at the top of the steps, gasping for air and sank down to sit on the steps. As he moved closer to her he knew that she was crying, this had become a usual thing for her lately. She hadn't heard him approaching and Will noticed that she flinched slightly when he started talking.

"Alicia? Are you okay? Do you want me to get anyone for you?" She laughed before answering. He thought he heard her mutter something like "who is there to get" before forming a proper answer.

"No, no. I'm fine, just a funny 5 minutes, go back in Will. I'm sure Tammy's wondering where you are."

The way she said it made him feel like she didn't really want him to go and that she definitely didn't care about Tammy and as he took a seat next to her and reached out for her hand he felt her relax slightly.

"Tammy's fine, you clearly are not. So I'm going to sit here and hold your hand until you want to tell me what's going on."

She sat quietly crying to herself for a while and he felt her thumb moving back and forth on his hand. It still made him shiver. It was nice to know that after all this time and space that had been put between them, they still had this electric feel between them. He could tell the thoughts were spinning through her mind at a thousand miles per hour. He didn't rush her into talking. He didn't want to. Being this close to her again was the best part of his night.

"I just don't know what I'm doing anymore Will. I feel like I've lost everything. That it's just me against the world. And before you say it I know I've got my kids and my firm and whatever else, but I just, I don't know, I just feel like there's more to life you know?"

He looked up at her, with a questioning look on his face, not sure where this was going, he didn't say anything because he wanted her to continue to talk.

"You know my brother said to me once that I have this skill of making love out last passion. And I've always just laughed it off. But I think he's right. I don't go for what I feel passionate about anymore. I go for what I love and what I know, and I don't want that anymore. I want to feel so passionate about something, that I can't think about anything else", she sighed and looked up at Will and he held her gaze as she continued talking, "I guess what I'm saying is, if I had gone with passion instead of familiarity a few years ago, none of the last year would have happened. I would have been happy, probably with you, and I wouldn't have been in hospital, or spewing my thoughts live on TV – sorry about that by the way – and I wouldn't have been alone. But I don't want one or the other. I want both. I want a love so powerful that it hurts me, and I want a passion so strong that it outlasts everything else. I want it all Will".

It was a lot to digest but Will still hadn't broken eye contact. He didn't care what happened, he just didn't want this moment to end. He couldn't form words. She stunned him in every way imaginable.

"Will?" ... it was Tammy. "I didn't come to this event for me, what are you playing at? Come on".

He looked at Alicia, not wanting to leave her.

"Its fine Will, go, I gotta get used to this me, myself and I thing remember?"

He smiled at her before getting up and walking back to Tammy, even though he wanted to stay more than he had ever wanted anything.

Tammy looked furious and he couldn't blame her. She'd scolded him on the walk back in but didn't want to cause a scene, which meant it was a discussion they'd be having later. As he sat back down he caught Kalinda's raised eyebrow and just shook his head slightly. He caught Diane's concerned look when Alicia came back in 10 minutes later. She still looked shook up, but she had recovered somewhat since their moment outside. He watched as she walked straight to the bar and took another shot and made her way over to Finn. Will couldn't help but think that if he wasn't there with Tammy on his arm, it would be him that Alicia was going to. He watched as she seemed to slip back into a conversation that lay somewhere between friendship and flirtation.

Alicia

She remained on the steps for a few minutes, mentally chastising herself for all the shit she just admitted to Will whilst trying to regain some composure. When she got back to the main room and saw Will with his arm around Tammy, it made her decision for her. With this, she marched straight over to Finn. He was more than happy to have her back around, and after a short time, his wit and his charm made it so she didn't have to pretend to be having a good time, it just happened naturally. He really was a good guy, but she couldn't help herself from sneaking glances at Will. She knew it was wrong, she knew he was unavailable, she knew she couldn't go there, but she was in love. And there is no logic with love.

"You seem like you're not here"

"I'm sorry Finn. I've had a crazy few weeks. And right now, I think I'm a little bit drunk. So excuse my sloppiness".

"There's nothing sloppy about you Alicia".

He looked her in the eye, and she didn't break eye contact. It was like a moment she would usually have with Will, it didn't hold as much passion as it would have with him, but there was something. She didn't know exactly what that something was, but she couldn't stop the smile that grew across her face. She didn't know where this would go, or what was going to happen that night, but as she saw Will and Tammy stand to leave, the question came almost without thought; "You wanna get out of here?"

They were collecting their coats when Alicia sensed people queuing behind them. She couldn't bear to turn around because she knew who it was. She always knew when _he_ was near. But Finn had seen him.

"Will Gardner. Haven't seen you all night. This must be the lucky lady I've heard has snagged the 16th bachelor?"

Will answered, but kept his eyes firmly on Alicia, "Yes, this is her. Tammy, this is Finn. So you and Alicia going home or to another bar or something?"

Before Finn could answer Alicia jumped in with "We haven't decided". She noticed how Wills mouth was opening to start talking so she waved, said goodbye and grabbed Finns arm, pulling him down the corridor. Before reaching the door she turned back to find Will staring at her. It was almost enough to stop her doing what she was about to do ... almost.

They came to the conclusion that Alicia had probably had enough tequila for one night and that they should make their way home. When the cab got to Alicia's apartment, she felt awkward. She knew she had to decide and that she didn't have long to do it. She thought about how everyone she loved had moved on; how the man she thought she could possibly end up with was getting married; how the man she loved for 20 years now loved someone else and almost without thinking; "You coming up?" Of course Finn agreed.

It was an extremely awkward elevator ride. Nothing like the one she had taken years before with Will. She couldn't stay still. She was fussing with her hair and rummaging in her bag for her keys.

She looked across at Finn, trying to be discreet, but he was already looking at her and when he smiled, she suddenly felt at ease. This may not be the man she's in love with, but he's a really great guy. He's sweet, charming and funny. So why not give this a go?

When they walked into the apartment, before she knew what was happening Finn was kissing her. It shocked her but not because she didn't like it, because she did. It wasn't a passionate kiss, nothing like the kind she's shared with Will over the years, but it was hot. She made no effort to push him away; no effort to stop his hands removing her coat or to stop them running down her bare back; it felt good and at this time in her life, good was exactly what she needed.

Almost without thinking she was reaching for the buttons on his shirt and slipping it off his shoulders, gently brushing her fingers along his bare chest as she did. She felt him smile into the kiss. As seductively as she could manage – taking into consideration the amount she had drank – she led Finn to her bedroom.

When she woke up, she couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief when her arm spread out and was met by thin air, and not a naked Finn. She groaned loudly at the headache that made her feel incapable of movement. As she looked to her left the saw a small tub of aspirin with a note saying "take me" on it and a glass of water next to them. She couldn't help but smile at Finns thoughtfulness. As she reached for her phone she saw that she had 5 messages, but before she had a chance to read them there was a knock on her door. Trying as best as she could to peel herself off her mattress, she reached for her robe and tied it around her still naked body. As she made her way to the door – groaning about how awful she felt – she caught sight of herself in the mirror and was mortified that Finn had woken up and seen her like this. Her make up from the night before was still on her face, she had very obvious sex hair and there was a trail of her clothes making their way from the door to her bedroom.

When she opened the door, she definitely did not expect to see Will stood there, looking fresh, as if he hadn't had a late night or a single drop to drink. She instinctively wrapped her robe tighter around herself, trying to hide the acts of the night before from the man she was in love with.

Will

It was hard to ignore the shock on her face when she opened the door. He assumed that she had not long woken up and obviously had not seen the messages he had sent her. He smiled and held up the coffee he had in his left hand and the aspirin he had in his right hand and watched as she opened the door further as invitation in. He followed her into the living room and watched her fall backwards on the sofa taking a big gulp of the coffee he had handed her.

"Rough night huh?"

She let out a sort of nervous laugh that he didn't understand, "you could say that. So how come you're here? Another case or something?"

"No I did message to say I was gunna pop by but I'm guessing you haven't long crawled out from under the covers?" He raised an eyebrow at her knowingly.

"That is correct. I feel like the walking dead. I just want to lie on the sofa, watch trashy TV and eat junk all day long, couldn't you have brought some breakfast with that coffee?" She laughed, but it was nervous, as if she was trying to hide something.

He got up and made his way to the kitchen, shouting back towards the living room that he was on a hunt for food, which is when he spotted it.

_Alicia,_

_Didn't want to wake you, you look too peaceful, but I'm in court early this morning, hope you took your aspirin and drank your water! I'll give you a ring later. _

_Finn._

_PS, I'm taking you on a date._

Will froze. Finn had stayed the night. He felt his stomach turn at the thought. He knew he had no right, that it was nothing to do with him, but the thought of Alicia with another man was not something he wanted to face. When he looked up and saw her making her way toward him, he took in her attire; a silk robe and messy hair. He knew this look. He had once loved this look.

"You have a note". He saw how Alicia smiled at him, and then seemed to understand what he was saying and noticed her smile fall.

"Will..."

"No Alicia. No".

"This has nothing to do with you Will. You're not my boyfriend; I don't even think you're my friend at this point".

"You admitted to being in love with me, and then all that stuff you said last night? I text you to tell you I wanted to come over and talk. That's why I'm here. And I see this? What's the matter with you Alicia?"

"What's the matter with me? Are you freaking kidding me Will? You're engaged? Did you expect me to be celibate for the rest of my life cos I can't have sex with you? You've moved on. I'm single now so I should be allowed the same courtesy".

"If that's what you wanted why the hell did you say all that stuff last night Alicia? Why did you say you loved me? That I wasn't a fling? That it wasn't just about sex?"

He could feel himself getting angry, he noticed how his voice had reached a higher volume. He looked at Alicia and he knew she was hurt. He could see how she was trying to fight back tears, but they escaped anyway. He had to fight the urge to reach out and wipe them away. But this was a conversation they needed to have.

It was all or nothing.


	5. 5 Months Later

Will

The last 5 months had not been the best of Wills life, but they also were far from the worst. LG wasn't in the best standing, more and more clients were leaving their firm, Tammy was spending every spare second arranging an engagement party that he didn't want, Diane had gone into warrior mode and every where he looked he saw Alicia. It was painful. She was on TV, in magazines, in the courtroom, outside the courtroom, in his offices; it was too much. He had hardly said a word to her after he left her apartment after the gala – after Finn. She'd changed a lot in the last few months – appearance wise – she wasn't the same woman but she still had the power to take his breath away. He sighed as he looked out of his new apartment window. He had moved a month before, trying to escape the ghost of Alicia in his last home but as he felt arms suddenly fall around him he almost felt as if she had followed him there, until he realised it was Tammy.

"_Miss Cavanaugh is looking better than ever pictured below leaving Cook County Court yesterday afternoon. In the last few months it has been reported how upon her ex husbands latest scandal , Miss Cavanaugh had looked worse than ever, so bad in fact that it had resulted in a hospital stay, Many reported on how another scandal of this magnitude would be her end game. However, the pictures (below) would have people thinking otherwise as we see her looking smitten with her new boy toy and good for her." _Will noticed how Tammy paused at this point, and stopped to gage Wills reaction, after realising he wasn't giving her anything to go on, she continued reading. "_Following the first scandal, many labelled this woman as being prudish but these photos lead us to believe otherwise. As she hangs onto her boy toys arm kissing him as they walk and apparently whispering into his ear, we can only conclude that there is nothing prudish about this woman. She looks hotter than ever, she's rising to the top in her career and has a hot young guy by her side. It seems like Alicia Cavanaugh can have it all. " _

"She looks really happy doesn't she?"

Will eyed the photos suspiciously, he'd seen Alicia at her happiest, he knows when she's happy and when she's playing her "good wife" persona but though it killed him to admit it, he could see a certain look on her face that made him think this wasn't just an act and that still killed him.

"She does yeah. Although I can't imagine them having that much in common. What would they even talk about?

"I doubt they do much talking"

Will tensed and felt his stomach turn. Thinking about her with another man was not what he wanted this morning; especially since he would be facing her in court that same afternoon. He knew that Tammy would be able to tell that he was uncomfortable and he didn't care. He knew it was wrong for him to treat her this way but he had loved Alicia for 20 long years, and although he wishes you could, love isn't something that you can wish away with a snap of your fingers.

"No, I don't suppose they do. Tam, I think we should move our engagement party up". He could see Tammy was taken by surprise considering how against a party he had been from the beginning, but he knew what he had to do. He had to try to get over Alicia. Get over the way she smiles, the way her laugh made him feel instantly happier, how he could tell she always felt safe in his arms, how she had told him that being with him was the happiest she had ever been, how she had the ability to turn his world on its head. The moping had to stop. He was engaged. "We should do it this weekend. We're getting married Tammy, we should celebrate that with the people we love. Let's have a party now, not in a month". Tammy looked pleased.

"I mean, it's gunna take me a lot of time this week, and you're in court so you can't help, are you sure we can do this Will?"

"Babe, it's just the party, not the actual wedding. Let's do this".

He watches as Tammy get's straight in to planning mode. Her phone is out and she's ringing caterers, florists, and the whole shebang. After watching her move around the apartment making arrangements, it occurs to him that he could easily love this woman. They have so much common and she's beautiful, she has no baggage, no children and no philandering ex-husband.

She's ideal, but she's not Alicia.

He kisses her softly on the lips before leaving for his office.

Alicia 

She was in a state of bliss.

When she took in her reflection in the mirror in the mornings, she didn't look broken anymore. She knew she looked better. She lost a lot of weight during the scandal but in the following months she had gotten a figure back. She was still slim, but had small curves in the right places and she chose clothes to accentuate them. She had changed up her makeup and usually went with a red lip. She changed up her hair; a lot. It was long and very fake, but she loved it. She felt replenished and it wasn't just about the exterior; it was the interior as well. She thought of times where she thought her life couldn't get any worse, like when her face was all over the news being labelled as a prude, or when her husband was the local "toe sucker" or when she left the love of her life to keep her family together, only to be cheated on again and this only gave her strength now. Strength to be the woman she knew was, the woman that she felt she had to hide for so long. She wasn't "the good wife" anymore, and that was okay, because she was okay.

And then there was Finn. He wasn't the love of her life, he was far from it in fact, but he was like coming up for air. She knew he had played a big part in putting her back together. He was playful and didn't take himself too seriously. He was different in the best way. Different from her ex-husband and different from Will. She had hardly spoken to either in a very long time. She would see them a lot of course as it was hard to avoid each other considering a great deal of their lives went hand in hand, but only the necessary pleasantries would be uttered before they all went their separate ways. This afternoon would be the first time she would go head to head in court with Will since she fainted. It would also be the first time they've had to truly interact since the morning he turned up at her apartment after the gala and found the note. The morning everything turned upside down again.

That was the problem with her and Will. They could never make it work. Not 20 years ago, not 5 years ago and not now. Alicia was beginning to think there was more to this than bad timing. This was fate. She had never found herself to be a romantic, she was much more of a pragmatist but lately she'd been starting to believe that maybe fate had intervened, maybe you needed more than love, more than passion to make something work. And she just didn't think her and Will would or could ever find that. It still hurt her to see him with Tammy. She knew it shouldn't, she was having fun with Finn and he was a good guy, but Will had always been her someday guy and now that he was engaged and their relationship was worse than ever, there really was no going back and she had to accept that. She always wondered why Peter falling in love didn't hurt as much as it did when she thought about Will being in love, but of course that answer was simple; deep down, she knew that Will had been the love of her life for 20 years, Peter was the sensible choice, she loved him, but it wasn't the same, and it never could be.

She pulled herself out of her day dream and studied her reflection in the mirror again. She turned and saw Finn still sleeping – and naked - in her bed and she smiled to herself. This wasn't going to last the rest of her life, but she was very glad that it was happening right now. Her life had always been so heavy, and right now all she wanted was to continue living in bliss. She smiled widely to herself, kissed Finns head, left him a note, and headed for the door.

Will

He was stood outside court discussing the proceedings with his client when the distant sound of heels clicking against the marble floor distracted him. It was a usual sound in this building, but he just knew it was her. She rounded the corner and took his breath away. He knew he was staring, but really, everyone in the area was. Her hair was slacked back into a long sleek ponytail, her coat was bright red and long, the colour matching her lips perfectly and her legs looked perfect in black tight fitted trousers. She was perfect. And it took him a few minutes to compose himself and turn back to his client, who was also, in a state of trance watching Alicia. He couldn't help but turn his attention back to her and watch her whilst she laughed and smiled on the phone;

"Just get up. Seriously, I'm going to be a few hours, make yourself useful and do some chores. With Zach gone you're the only male left to do the heavy lifting". She was laughing and looking more care free than he'd seen her in a long time. She turned her attention to him whilst walking past – still on the phone – and her smile dropped into a straight line, she nodded once, acknowledging his existence and carried on past him, continuing with her conversation, the smile immediately returning to her face.

When it was time to head in to court, he couldn't help but find it ironic that it was the same judge who had been there the day Alicia fainted. He thought she probably appreciated the irony too. He knew this wasn't going to be easy; as she removed her long coat, sat and retrieved necessary papers, he could tell she was game for a fight. He welcomed it but as she sat so close, arms bare, legs crossed, lips red, he couldn't help but be distracted.

"_I said those things because I meant them Will. I loved you, I still love you, whether you want to believe that or not"_

"_Were you in love with me when you were screwing Finn last night?"_

"_Oh my god listen to yourself Will. Can you tell me you haven't been in love with me whilst you've been screwing Tammy? Or that blonde you were screwing last year? There's a double standard here and you know it."_

"_The double standard is that you never told me, you knew how I felt"._

"_Oh I knew? That's what you're going with? You NEVER told me"._

"_You knew Alicia. I never lied to you about my feelings. I offered you more multiple times. I told you it was only you"._

"_Oh really, you never lied? What did your voicemail say Will? The one I never heard? Cos it sure as hell didn't say that bullshit you told me. You lied to my face about it and that hurt"._

"_Oh stop playing the victim Alicia" _

"_I AM THE VICTIM, I AM!"_

She was burning with anger and passion when she had shouted that at him. He knew he was pushing her buttons, winding her up, but he was so angry. He hated that he'd turned up probably just hours after Finn had left her bed. And right now, seeing her looking as beautiful as she does, it still angers him. He knew what she was saying was right, it wasn't as if he hadn't been sleeping with others, but it felt wrong for her to do it, whether she liked that or not.

"Miss Cavanaugh, welcome back", Will was torn from his thoughts by the judge entering and addressing Alicia. "Let's hope you can keep both feet firmly on the floor this time, yes?"

"I'll definitely try my best Your Honour", she beamed a dazzling smile at him. Will couldn't help but think that it was a wonder all the judges weren't fawning over her too ... maybe they were.

The trial was going particularly bad for him. She had him at every turn, predicted his every move and was ready to counter every attack. This is how he liked her; fierce, and ready for the fight. The judge called recess and Will stood to gather his stuff and saw Alicia doing the same thing, in his peripheral vision he noted how she paused and turned her head toward him, then he heard the familiar sound of her heels and noted how they stopped by him, still looking down he waited till she spoke up to make eye contact.

"Hey Will". He didn't reply. "So this is awkward. But I was thinking maybe we should go grab a coffee, make it even more awkward. Fancy it?" He couldn't stop himself from looking up. He was shell-shocked. Coffee? Really Alicia? This is the most ridiculous idea in the history of ridiculous ideas. Of course he didn't want to get coffee with her. And although he found himself thinking this, the answer was out of his mouth before he could finish his train of thought;

"Sure".

They walked in an awkward silence to the coffee shop by the courthouse. When they entered he took his place behind her in line as she turned, told him she had it, gave him her prize worthy smile and sent him to find a seat. He couldn't help but watch her in the queue. She seemed so at ease with herself these days, making easy conversation with the woman behind her in the queue who had obviously recognised her. She was different, but she was still the same. She was still the Leesh he'd known in college. He knew that, he just wondered sometimes if she did.

Alicia

As she ordered for them, the same coffees that she had ordered many, many times before, she was mentally kicking herself for asking him here at all. She could tell he didn't really want to be there and if he did he was hiding it really well. To be honest, she wasn't quite sure why she'd asked him. Maybe she wanted her friend back? Maybe she missed what they had? But whatever the reason was, against all odds he had accepted, and they were there and she had to try and make this successful.

Before she even had the chance to take her coat off and sit down opposite him, the examination had begun. "Why are we here Alicia? Why did you ask me here?"

"Why? I, um ... well. I haven't had a real conversation with you in a while -"

"5 months" Will interjected.

"Oh that long? Really? Well yeah, it's been a long time. I guess I've missed just talking to you, you know?"

"Alicia, me and you, we're not friends, not anymore. We're not anything. You made sure of that."

"Come on Will, I didn't destroy us on my own. You're engaged, you didn't and still don't get to have an opinion on who I sleep with or like and you tried too, you tried to have an opinion. Even though after seeing me, you probably went home to Tammy. Am I right?" Will didn't respond, so she nodded her head, knowing she was spot on, and continued her tirade. "You might not like my choices Will, but they're mine. For once in my life, my choices are my own. And I'm not going to apologise for that. You don't get to make me feel bad for that. I want you in my life, I always will, even if I do have to play nice with Tammy and pretend like I can be happy for you both." She paused and looked up at him, he was staring directly at her and he cocked his head to side. She didn't say anything, hoping that he would interject before she carried on and said something foolish; and he did. He was laughing.

"I like when you go off like that. It reminds me of how you'd rant in college when something didn't go your way in moot court or when you just didn't like law in general. You'd go on and on. I'm pretty sure I fell asleep mid-rant on multiple occasions". To Alicia's surprise, he was still laughing.

"Okay I wasn't that bad. I just had an opinion. Okay a lot of opinions", and she couldn't help herself from laughing too. She looked into his eyes and their laughter died, and she smiled at him, shockingly getting one in return.

"I miss you Alicia. Every day. Every single day. I mean, I moved apartments -"

"Wait you moved? I loved your apartment so much. Will why would you do that? Did Tammy not like it? It was so nice though she must have liked it. Oh and that kitchen, Will how could you give up that stove and-" Will cleared his throat looking at Alicia with an amused look on his face. "Ranting, opinions ... I guess I haven't changed much. Carry on".

"So anyway ... I moved apartments and my new place is old, really old, and the realtor made some really crappy joke about the American Revolution, and I laughed, like a proper throaty laugh and all I could think was 'I've gotta tell Alicia about this' and that happens a lot. And I keep getting reminded that you're not there, that I should want to spend these moments with my fiancé. And it's been getting easier. But you're everywhere Alicia, I mean seriously, everywhere. Tammy read me an article about you this morning actually".

Was he really saying all of this? He misses her? Alicia's mind was racing. She wasn't really listening to him anymore. In what way did he miss her? Romantically? Professionally? Friendly?

"_You give me false hope. That's all you ever do. You make me fall in love with you over and over again Alicia. Every time you walk in and out and I can't do that. I can't. I can't miss you anymore."_

"_I'm here Will. I'm right here. I'm stood in front of you telling you that I love you. That I'm in love with you. And you're not listening. You're not understanding. I missed you for 15 years and then there you were, handing me a lifeline and I think I fell in love with you right then. But life was different then, I was different then". She could feel herself breaking down, she knew tears were streaming down her face but she didn't have the power to control them._

"_Alicia, you can't honestly tell me that you missed me all that time. You never contacted me. You had a phone, you could have used it whenever you liked, you chose not to. I'm done Alicia, it's over. This thing between us, it's over. I owe it to Tammy to give it a go". With that he had stood to make his way to the door. Before he had even made it out of the kitchen, Alicia felt herself sink to the ground in a flood of tears. She saw him look back, he looked pained, but he didn't stop, he kept walking._

"Hello! Alicia! Are you there?"

"Oh Will, I'm sorry, but to be honest, I have no clue what you've said for the last 5 minutes".

"I'll try not to be offended. Thoughts wandering to better places?"

"Actually no. Worse places. That's no reflection on the company. I wouldn't rather be in the worse place than here talking to you", she laughed and he looked at her amused"you just always bring so many memories to the surface".

"yeah I get that. So how are you? You and Finn look happy". She knew it would come up eventually, how could it not? She and Finn were appearing everywhere. She was being labelled the Mrs Robinson of 2014. But seriously, Finn was only 5 years younger; it's really not a big deal.

"I'm good. Actually I'm really good. And Finn, well yeah, we're happy. But we both know what this is. We're not long haul. We're more of a mini break". He raised his eyebrow at her questioningly as if pushing her to explain"Oh god, don't make me say it". He shrugged his shoulder and cocked his head with a smug look on his face. "Fine. Fine. We're not in love. It's not like that. I could never love him. We just you know ... have fun? Oh this is so embarrassing". Will laughed loudly, and almost smugly.

"No I get it. I totally get it. I remember you chastising me about my relationship with Isabel not too long ago, which was of the same nature", he raised his eyebrow at her, still laughing.

"Oh that was different and you know it", she laughed again too. So far this was going much better than expected. "But seriously Will, back to earlier, why in the hell did you move? I was so in love with that apartment, I mean, I still am, it was a dream. I can't believe you moved". He looked hesitant, and she could see him really thinking through his answer before telling her. He looked resigned and he shrugged his shoulders.

"I saw you everywhere". As simple as that. Her breath faltered. He was eyeing her as if waiting for a response, but she kept quiet. "Everywhere I looked I saw you, I saw our time together. I saw you dancing in my shirt to some awful rock song. I saw you making pancakes nak- in the kitchen". She noticed how he stopped before saying naked and it amused her, but when she looked at him, he had a serious look on his face, which almost concerned her. "I guess I felt that if I wanted to move on from you and make it work with Tammy, I had to get away from our ghosts. It didn't work. I still see you in my new place, but it's not as hard".

"thank you Will, for telling me the truth".

They continued talking for a good hour; laughing with each other, talking about old times, about new times, about everything. When they finished in court that afternoon, Alicia knew she was in trouble. She didn't know why she was doing this to herself. She would always be in love with Will, but why torture herself now, now that it's him that's committed and not her. Sods law. Bad timing.

They kept it up all week on their recesses. They got more coffee, got some pizza, and Alicia loved it. It felt great to have him back around her and to be that close with him again. But on more than one occasion, when they'd made eye contact, she had wanted nothing more than to kiss him. To feel that closeness again. But that couldn't happen now.

Finn didn't cross her mind once.

Will

The last few days had been undeniably great. He had started off the week convinced that he was going to move on from Alicia, make a go of a life with Tammy, but the more time he spent with Alicia, the more he realised how much he still loved her. He loved how she unconsciously touched her hair every now and then, how her laugh was so loud and so out of character, how the look in her eye could tell a whole story, how strong she was in court again. He could really go on all day. But it was Friday, their trial was over and they were grabbing a drink afterwards. It was almost like old times, except this time he was drowning his sorrows after a loss in court, and she was celebrating after totally obliterating him.

"it's okay Will; you can't win them all honey. The sun will still come up tomorrow". She laughed loudly and he pulled a sad mopey face as if he was truly devastated by the loss. By this time, more than one tequila shot had been drunk.

"I hate to lose so much. Especially to you. How could I let myself lose to you"?

"I'm offended William Paul Gardner. I'm fantastic. You suck".

"And if I remember correctly, so do you".

She looked at him in mock horror before bursting out laughing and calling for another shot of tequila. He felt her place her hand on his thigh before whispering "we were good together" in his ear. She was so close that he felt her breath hit his cheek and he knew that if he had just turned his head slightly they would have been kissing. He pulled back slightly so he could look at her face and she was looking up at him through her eyelashes. It was seductive. She knew what she was doing and it turned Will on in a way that no other woman could ever manage. Before he could really think about what he was doing he started to lean in, noting how Alicia did the same thing until he felt a hand on his shoulder that wasn't Alicia's.

"Will. Alicia. Fancy seeing you here ... together"

He turned his head to the familiar voice and laughed, looking back at Alicia and seeing how disappointed she looked. He was unsure as to whether this was because they were interrupted or because of who was interrupting.

"Ah Kalinda. It's like you have a radar", Will said whilst laughing. Alicia stood and stumbled whilst announcing she was going to the bathroom. Kalinda laughed, watched Alicia walk away and sat down next to Will.

"Had a few Will?"

"Not a few ... just a few". He realised what he'd said and laughed again, apparently drunk Will finds everything funny.

"So you're in a pub with Alicia, and you're drunk, and you were going in for the kill. You two are ridiculous".

"oh don't be such a prude Kalinda. We're just hanging out. We're friends"

"she is single now I suppose, oh but wait, you're not. Isn't that odd"

"odd indeed".

"Will go home. It's your engagement party tomorrow and-"

"It's your what tomorrow?" Neither Will nor Kalinda had noticed Alicia standing behind them. Her face dropped. And Will was mentally hitting himself. With a big sigh, he answered her question.

"It's my engagement party, I've actually got an invite for you if you wanna come?" with that he reached inside his jacket pocket and pulled out the invite, handing it to her. As she snatched it away, she said;

"Oh that's great. Thanks for that. I think I should go. Bye Will" and turning her gaze ever so slightly toward Kalinda she nodded, grabbing her stuff and walking away. Will watched her push her way through the crowd out into the street, fighting the temptation to run after her, forgetting about Kalinda by his side.

"You're making some pretty stupid choices Will".

"Nothing about me and Alicia will ever be stupid".

Alicia

As she stepped out into the cold air, her heart racing and head pounding, her phone rang.

"WHAT?"

"Oh, sorry Alicia. Is this a bad time?"

She immediately recognised Finns voice and sighed.

"No Finn, it's fine. There's no such thing as good timing anymore, what's up?"

"Well I just left the office and wondered if you wanted to do something?"

She thought about telling him no, about going home alone and wallowing whilst thinking about the paths not taken and the chances missed. And then she thought about how Will would be going home to Tammy. Climbing into bed with her. Having sex with her. Waking up next to her.

"My place. 15 minutes."

With that, she hung up and made her way home. Actively trying not to think about how she'd rather be going home with the man she had left behind.


	6. The Party

Alicia

She woke up naked, her limbs still tangled with Finns. Her head hurt, the room was spinning and the memories of the night before hit her like a brick wall. She carefully untangled herself from Finn and rolled onto her back, staring at the ceiling. It was clear to her, that if Kalinda had not turned up, it would have been Will in her bed right now. She sighed and looked over at Finn. She didn't know how long this was going to last, she really liked him, he's sweet and he cares about her and the sex was so good; but that wasn't going to make a lasting relationship. She doesn't love him. She doesn't feel passion about him. She spent the whole time they'd spent together the night before thinking about Will. Imagining that it was Will removing her clothes, Will Kissing her neck, Will stroking his fingers on the inside of her thigh. She got out of bed trying to shake the thoughts from her head and headed to the kitchen. Seeing Grace stood by the fridge took her by surprise. And she was pleased that she'd decided to pick up her robe before walking out.

"Grace! What are you doing here? You're supposed to be with your dad". She kept glancing toward her bedroom door praying that Finn didn't walk out naked and looking for food.

"He's working all day long and I knew I'd be bored so I got his assistant to drop me back here this morning. I thought maybe we could do something".

It always warmed Alicia's heart how much her daughter loved spending time with her. Especially since Zach had gone to college. "Honey I'd love to. What've you got in mind?"

"Well I saw the invite to Wills engagement party on the counter, and thought you'd need a dress so how about shopping?"

Alicia was pretty certain she wasn't going to go, there was just no way she could face being at a party where people were celebrating Will and Tammy's love. And also at a party where so many people hated her; including the bride.

"I don't think I'm gunna go to that sweetie. Me and Will aren't really on the best of terms".

"More reason for you to go and to look smoking hot. I'll go get ready. We leave in an hour. And you should wake Finn up and tell him he's going to a party tonight". Grace laughed as she noticed the shock on Alicia's face and walked to her bedroom. Alicia had always wondered if her children knew about Will. She'd never told them what actually happened, but every now and then, she would get a feeling from the things that they would say to her. She'd told them about Finn about 2 weeks into their "relationship". They were both okay with it. They just wanted their mom to be happy.

She woke Finn up, told him about the party – which he seemed quite excited about – and then sent him on his way.

Her day with her daughter was reminding her of when Grace was younger; when life wasn't so complicated. Peter would take Zach fishing whilst Alicia and Grace would shop and get lunch, then they'd all meet back home and tell stories about their day. Life was happy then; everything was easy. But all these memories she had were tainted by the fact that whilst she was blissfully happy, Peter was out with other women. She doubted that she would ever get over that.

Grace was talking animatedly at lunch about her life, about boys at school, about what she likes, about how amazing Alicia's dress is.

"Seriously mum, if you didn't already have a boyfriend, you'd get one easily at the party in that dress you're going to be the centre of attention". Alicia couldn't stop the laugh that escaped her lips.

"It's not my party Grace, I've just gotta blend in. It's Will and Tammy's night".

"Yeah about that mom, I always thought Will was in love with you. I don't get why he's getting married", Alicia almost spat her drink out, but instead she swallowed it roughly, causing her to cough.

"Excuse me?"

"Oh me and Zach always used to talk about how you'd probably get together. It was obvious you liked each other. When you and dad finally got divorced we just assumed Will would be around more".

"Grace me and him are just friends, I'm not even sure if we're that now".

"He'll want to be more than that when he see's you tonight. You're gunna look _hot_. You should definitely tie your hair back with your extensions. I think that's becoming your signature. "

"Oh Grace, stop" she couldn't help her laugh once again, "you're being ridiculous".

"No seriously mom, you're hot now. Even the guys at school say so which is so disgusting".

They laughed loudly together and their day carried on in much the same way. She loved how close her and Grace were now she was getting older. It was probably one of the most important relationships in her life right now. And although she admired how grown up she had become she was concerned about how easily she had deciphered the bond between her and Will. If her daughter could see it, why couldn't they get their act together? She shook her head and chastised herself for even thinking it. He's taken. He's taken. He's taken. She would repeat these two words in her head all night if she had too.

Will

The day had been hectic. He was initially glad of that as he thought it would take his mind off what had happened/what could have happened the night before with Alicia, of course he was wrong. His mind was racing over what nearly happened, what would have happened if Kalinda hadn't interrupted. He didn't know if he was glad of the interruption or absolutely devastated, but what he did know, was that the idea of being married to a woman he would never be able to be completely in love with, was a nightmare. It was suffocating. After going to the venue with Tammy and helping her prepare things, he headed home, changed into sweatpants, and went for a run.

The only time he felt he was truly honest with himself, was whilst he was running. It was pretty much the only time he had to himself these days and the only time someone wasn't asking something of him. He wasn't sure how long he'd been running, he thought it was probably longer than usual, but he kept going. He found himself getting closer to Alicia's. He considered going in, telling her that he loved her still; that he only wanted her and then he remembered Tammy and how excited she was for the party and he kept running. He didn't know if ending it today before the party was crueler than ending it afterwards. And then his thoughts wandered to Alicia and Finn. Would she leave Finn for him? Would she be willing to give everything to him this time? Introduce him to her children? Have a real life with him? He was conflicted. He wondered if she would turn up at his party that night. He thought probably not.

When he got back to the apartment, he checked the time and realised he didn't have as long as he thought to get ready. He went straight to the bathroom and climbed into the shower. After a short while, he felt arms twisting around his hips and imagined they were Alicia's.

"Good run baby?"

"As good as a run can be. Sorry I'm so late, I didn't realise I was out so long".

"Its fine sweetie, it's our party, we can be late if we want to".

He wondered if she felt him tense when she said "sweetie". He pictured Alicia sat on his couch in his office talking to Grace on the phone,_ "I'm sure everything's fine sweetie, I'll be home soon". _He pictured her hugging Grace when she returned home after they thought she was missing "_I'm so glad you're home sweetie_". It was her word. It didn't sound right coming from Tammy.

It was almost as if in this moment, everything was clear. How could he attach himself to this woman so indefinitely, knowing that every other thought he had was of another woman? A woman that he loved even when he hated her.

"Are you sure you're okay with me staying at my sisters after the party will?"

"Yeah, it's fine".

He heard his abruptness, he didn't apologise for it. He was tloHe

He was glad Tammy wouldn't be there that night, he was relishing in the idea of being by himself to really think about what his next steps should be. He couldn't wait.

Alicia

With the help of Grace, she'd spent hours getting ready, making sure not a hair was out of place, and that her makeup was perfect. She felt nervous and she had many reasons to be. She was going with her new sort of boyfriend, to her ex sort of boyfriends engagement party, she's still in love with the ex, his fiancé doesn't like her and many people at the party also don't like her.

Finn had arrived and taken a seat in the living room to patiently wait for Alicia. She took in her reflection in the mirror and concluded it was as good as it was going to get. As she started to walk out of the room she could hear Grace making polite conversation with the man in her life.

"She looks fantastic. Trust me. We got the dress today and it's unbelievable".

Finn Laughed slightly, "She always looks fantastic. What she's wearing is irrelevant".

Alicia couldn't help but blush. Finn was a good guy and she hated that she couldn't love him how he deserved to be loved. He deserved someone who could appreciate him in every way possible, and that wasn't her.

However, as she walked out, she couldn't help but enjoy the look he gave her. His gaze moved from head to toe and then back again, showing his clear appreciation. She'd opted for a nude coloured floor length, halter necked dress. It wasn't skin tight, but it accentuated her small curves in all the right places. She had taken Graces advice and worn her hair in a sleek ponytail and only used minimal black accessories and of course, 4 inch heels were a given.

"Wow" was all Finn had managed to say.

Grace laughed and muttered something like "I told you so".

"Guys seriously stop, you're making me blush, and then I'll get all clammy then all my makeup will melt off".

"You'd still look phenomenal. Ready?"

"Yup".

As Finn waved to Grace and made his way to the door, Alicia walked over to her and gave her a hug. Grace reached up and whispered "show him what he's missing" in her ear, and she immediately knew they weren't talking about Finn. Alicia hugged her daughter harder, before pulling back and giving her a knowing wink and smile.

She felt physically sick. She could feel herself getting warm and knew she should have had one more glass of wine before leaving the apartment. She was struck by how beautifully the room was decorated. She hated to admit it, but Tammy had done a good job. She knew Will wouldn't have had a hand in it. She allowed her eyes to wander around the room, looking for the people she would purposefully avoid that night; David Lee, Diane, Tammy, Tammy's sister, Will's sisters ... the list was endless. As she made her list, she made eye contact with the only person she cared about seeing that night. She could feel his gaze hungrily scanning her body as he stood talking to another woman. She looked similar to him and Alicia realised it was probably his sister, Aubrey. She couldn't look away. Even when she noticed Aubrey turn to see what her brother was staring at. In that moment, she didn't care about anything or anyone else. Finn returned handing her a glass of wine, and the moment was broken.

Will

He felt like the air had been knocked out of his lungs and he had lost all rational thought. He could hear his sister's voice blabbering on in the background, but he couldn't tear his eyes away. Her porcelain skin against the pale material was mesmerising and the fact that the colour was close to her skin colour, making her look almost naked, made his mouth dry. The smallest smile played at her lips, almost as if his reaction was the exact one she had been looking for. He saw Finn move to her and hand her a glass wine at almost the exact moment that his sister was shaking him out of his daze.

"Who is that woman and why are you staring at her when your fiancé is on the other side of the room?"

"Alicia" was all he said. No explanation.

"Alicia who? How do you know her?"

"Alicia Cavanaugh". Again, no explanations.

"Will seriously what are you playing at. Who is this woma-", a look of understanding spread across Aubreys face. "Wait ... Alicia Cavanaugh? As in Georgetown Alicia? As in the girl you didn't shut up about? No way Will. Where's Sara? She _has _to hear this. And I'm sorry Will, but from the goo-goo eyes you were making at her, you're clearly marrying the wrong woman. And from the eyes she was making back at you, she thinks you're marrying the wrong woman too".

Aubrey put her hand on Wills shoulder before setting off to find their younger sister. For the next hour, it seemed as if wherever he looked, he was finding Alicia. He thought maybe he was doing it unconsciously, but he knew that wasn't the case. Since his eyes were following her, it would have been impossible for him to miss Finn taking a phone call by her side, hanging up, talking to Alicia, kissing her (which made Will queasy), and then leaving. He assumed it was probably something to do with work. Before he had even realised what he was doing, he was making his way over to fill the void which Finn had just left.

"Alicia". She looked at him like she was carefully considering what she wanted to say before speaking it out loud. He was concerned at how long it felt like it took her to form a reply to a simple greeting.

"Will. We should talk. But not here, obviously" she looked around the room eyeing certain guests before continuing. Will followed her gaze and noticed that a couple of people, Diane and Helena (Tammy's sister) included, were looking their way. "When things have calmed down, when it's not so crazy, we should talk".

With that, she smiled at him, and walked away toward the bar, leaving him dumb struck. In that moment, all logical thought left his mind. He couldn't move, he couldn't think; he couldn't do anything.

"Don't". The one, solitary word pulled him out of his trance and he turned to find himself face to face with a stern looking Diane. "whatever she said, to make you think what you're thinking, stop. You're getting married Will. You've finally moved on. Don't let her pull you back in ... again". When he looked at her, he knew she wasn't trying to intentionally hurt him; she wanted what was best for him. She'd seen how hurt he'd been when they ended things the first time and when Alicia betrayed him and left the firm. But she'd also seen how much happier he'd been when Alicia joined the firm, as well as any time she was near him at Lockhart Gardner.

"I can't help myself Diane. I'm always going to be in love with her". It was the first time he'd admitted it to anyone other than himself. Diane didn't look shocked or appalled, she looked sad. She knew her friend was hurting and she didn't know what she could do for him. "Before you say it, I know I'm a fool, Tammy's perfect for me, but she doesn't make me a better man, she doesn't bring me to my knees with a single smile, she's not her. She drives me crazy, so crazy that I hated her for a while, but even when I hated her I loved her Diane, I did".

"Will you need to deal with this. If you're not happy fix it. We only get one chance at life". She kissed him on the cheek and gave him a sad smile before moving back to her husband's side and kissing him tenderly. In that moment, Will wanted nothing more than to kiss the woman he was in love with as he watched her walk past him out of the hall toward the bathrooms.

Alicia

She stood in the bathroom holding on to the sink for support and breathing deeply. She was still trying to convince herself that what she had done was a good call. She knew she wanted to be with Will more than anything, but she knew her actions would have consequences and she knew people they both cared for would be hurt, but it was hard to convince herself that she'd done wrong. She could hear people coming and in that moment, she didn't feel that she could face anyone, so she walked into a stall, pulled the toilet lid down, and sat, with her head in her hands. She felt childish, but she just couldn't deal with a conversation right now; not with anyone.

"Babe, the parties beautiful", she didn't recognise the voice and she breathed a sigh of relief.

"I think Will thought it was going to be too over the top". It was Tammy. Alicia froze and chastised herself for being stupid enough to lock herself in a stall like this. She clasped a hand over her mouth to stop any unwanted noise escaping her lips. "I mean, when he suggested we do the party this week instead of next month, I thought there was something going on, like why would he want to rush it? But I think he just really wanted this". Alicia couldn't stop the thoughts from racing around her mind; Will moved the party forward? Suddenly the bold move of asking him to talk seemed like the biggest mistake she'd ever made.

"Speaking of Will, I saw him speaking to Alicia earlier". Alicia became even more still after hearing her name. "I've wondered what she was like ever since he dumped me for her in Georgetown, and you know what? Not so spectacular. Good fashion sense though. I would kill for that dress". Alicia heard Tammy's mocking laugh but she wasn't offended, it was more than fair for these girls to be hard on her as ironically, she had ruined both their lives by being too close with Will.

"Right? I don't think so either. Will's in the palm of her hand though. It used to be worrying, but when we got back together, the things he used to say about her, and about her ex-husband ... what's his name?"

"Peter the prostitute toe sucker?" Tammy laughed loudly and Alicia winced. It had been years since Peter's first scandal, but it still haunted her every day. As did all the other scandals.

"Yeah that's the one. Well Will used to laugh with me about how dumb and naive Alicia was for going back to him. And he told me how he had Kalinda investigate Peter a few years ago. He'd been cheating on Alicia since she got pregnant with her second kid. How stupid does a woman have to be to not know that her husband's screwing half of Chicago?" Both women laughed loudly. And suddenly Alicia couldn't take it anymore. She stood up, a look of determination on her face, flushed the chain, and walked out of the stall to the sink. She washed her hands, dried them and then turned to Tammy. The look of pure shock and embarrassment on her face was enough to make Alicia feel satisfied.

"Congratulations on your upcoming wedding Tammy. I hope your husband doesn't screw half of Chicago behind your back. I've heard that happens sometimes". She sarcastically winked and smiled at her before exiting the bathroom.

She wasn't as confident as she seemed. She had to go. She didn't want to go back into the main room, but she had no choice. All of her belongings were still in there. She tried to keep her cool as she walked back into the room and started to collect her belongings so she could make her escape. As she swept up her coat, it sent a glass full of wine tumbling off the table. She could feel eyes on her. She knew she wasn't appearing as calm and collected as she wanted to be but she couldn't rein it in. She saw Kalinda throw her a worried glance, but she had no time for her anymore. From the corner of her eye, she saw Will, his sister, Diane and Kurt all looking in her direction. She purposely didn't make eye contact as she made her exit as quickly as she could. She knocked into a few people on her way, making her exit anything but graceful but she didn't care. It was taking all that she had to not scream; to not break down right there in the party.

She hated Kalinda for fucking her husband, and she hated her for finding out crucial information and not telling her about it.

She hated Peter for everything that was wrong with her life; for making her look like a fool over and over again.

And she hated Will. She hated him for making her love him and then crushing her into a thousand pieces.

She got into the taxi, and cried. She didn't rein it in and she didn't try to stop it. This was real heartbreak. And it was becoming all too familiar to her.

Will

The sound of a glass crashing against the ground pulled his attention away from the conversation. Diane, Aubrey, Kurt and himself all looked in the same direction. They watched as Alicia fumbled with her belongings pausing for a fraction of a second to look at the glass on the ground, before starting her escape. He could feel the eyes of the people accompanying him move to his face, but he couldn't take his eyes from Alicia. As she made her escape, she bumped into multiple people, including Kalinda, without stopping to make apologies. He knew something had happened, and he needed to know what. He wanted nothing more than to run after her and to help her; but he knew he couldn't. Not now.

He turned back to the questioning eyes of the 3 people he was with. It was as if they were all waiting for him to bolt. Thankfully he was saved by Kalinda.

Or so he thought.

"It's not a party without a little bit of Florrick drama right?" she laughed.

"She's not a Florrick". It came out harsher than he had anticipated, but he made no apologies before leaving the group and going to the bar for a scotch. He turned and found Tammy laughing and smiling with her family. He watched and saw how happy she was, imagining how as soon as he could, he was going to end that happiness. He wanted to feel remorse but he didn't. His thoughts returned to Alicia. He was worried about her. He needed to know what was wrong. He was worried it was about him, but he'd literally only spoken a single word to her. He assumed it was a family issue, but he was still worried.

"Pull it together Will". It was Aubrey, with Diane pulling up alongside her. "You only have to last a few more hours in this party".

Diane agreed with a slight nod of the head before adding "And then you can go after the woman you really want". He smiled at her half thankful for her support and half love for his friend.

As soon as the party cleared out, he would be at her apartment.

Grace

She glanced at the clock from her spot on the sofa and put down her school work when she heard a key turning in the lock.

"Mom? Is that you? You're early".

She heard her mum's cries before she saw her. Too many times she'd heard this sound and it killed her every time. Hearing and seeing one of the people you love more than anything in the world so upset and hurt was always heartbreaking. Your parents are supposed to be the strong people who guide you through life and to see one of them so broken was devastating.

One of the first times she'd seen her mom really cry was after her dad's first scandal was leaked to the press. She'd come home from school, so angry and hurt that she hadn't even stopped to consider how her mom was feeling before fleeing to her room. It was later in the day that she let herself into her mom's room to find her curled up on the bed in floods of tears. It was then that she realised that parents aren't invincible. They could be beaten down too.

"Oh hi honey, Finn got called to work, and I was alone so I came back". It was painfully obvious that there was something else going on, but she knew her mom well enough to know when to push and when not to.

"Go run a bath, I'll just finish my work then I'll bring you a glass of wine".

She heard her mom walk down the corridor to her room. She didn't close the door so Grace could tell she was still crying. When she'd finished up, she poured a glass of wine and headed towards her moms bathroom. She heard the shower running and could see Alicia's silhouette sat on the floor of the shower with the water pouring over her. The sound of her quiet cries still echoing in the room. Before she had the chance to help her up, there was a knock on the door.

She was going to ignore it, but there was another knock, and then another. She knew she had to get it, but she didn't want to leave her mom like that, she walked as quickly as she could out to the door and hardly paid attention to whoever it was at the door before directing her attention back to her mother's room.

"Grace?"

That's when she recognised the voice. She'd only ever met him a handful of times; usually around the courtroom or at Cavanaugh, Agos & Associates. All of a sudden she felt anger build inside of her. Her mom was at his party, who else could have hurt her this much whilst there?

"What did you do?" the anger in her accusation was clear, she noted the confusion on Wills face and when he didn't answer she asked again, "What did you do to her Will?"

Will

Will could hear the clear accusation in Graces words but was dumbfounded.

"Grace I don't know what's going on, but I saw your mom leave looking upset, so I came to see if she was alright. Really Grace, I care about your mom, I didn't do anything".

He saw how she looked him up and down, clearly judging, but he didn't take offence. Her mom was upset and she didn't understand it. It was only natural for her to mistrust the man her mom had the most issues with. Especially when he turns up on her doorstep, the night of his engagement party, when her moms having an emotional crisis.

"I'm going to get her".

He noted the concern on her face, and couldn't help but follow. He needed to see for himself what was making her look so anxious and unsure. He could hear Grace talking to her mom in soft calming tones as he looked around the door. Alicia was sat on the floor in the shower, and he didn't want to see her this way, so broken and hurt; but he couldn't look away. He could tell Grace was struggling to hold back her own tears, so he walked over, put a hand on Graces shoulder, and told her he had it. He again noted the look of mistrust on her face, but she left the room.

"Alicia, it's me, let's get you up and dressed".

When she finally let her eyes meet his, he could see nothing. He thought back to all the times he'd seen her after she left Lockhart/Gardner, and he could see the hate, hurt and sometimes even love in her eyes. But as he looked now, they were completely void of emotion which he found much worse than hate. She wasn't crying anymore, but he could tell she had been.

"I'm capable of looking after myself Will. Get out. I'll be out soon. Tell Grace to go to her room. We need to talk".

We need to talk; 4 of the most feared words. He had to admit, he was unsure what could have changed for her in the matter of hours and it worried him.

He wanted to tell her that he loved her.

He wanted to tell her that he wanted to spend every day of the rest of his life with her.

He had the feeling that those words wouldn't spoken tonight.

**A/N – I had up to here written when i published the first chapter, so please bear with me as it will take a bit longer to get the next one up! Thank you again for all the lovely reviews!**


	7. The Truth

**A/N - Sorry this update took longer than all the others, but new Orange Is The New Black happened, so of course I had to rewatch season 1 followed straight after by the new season ha! Thank you again for all the lovely reviews, I really appreciate them!**

Alicia

It was as if seeing his face had dragged her out of the pity party she was throwing for herself. This wasn't her. She wasn't weak. As she made her way back into her bedroom she tried to form her arguments in her head but it was impossible; everything was a blur. There were so many thoughts in her mind right now; so many things that made her hate Will. She hated him. It was a fact. She knew hate, it wasn't a new concept to her. Many people had hurt her over time - mainly people she loved – and she knew what it felt like to feel betrayed; to feel the hate run through every vein. She let her hair hang loosely down her back, grabbed an old pair of sweats and a tank top and looked at herself in the mirror. Hours before, when she did the same thing, she felt good. She felt whole again. She felt like everything was going to be okay. But this time, she felt as if once again she had lost control of her own life.

When she was in court, she always she felt in control. She knew just the right way to word her questions, how to make whoever she was facing scramble, how to make the oppositions witness crumble; she was always sure in court; right now she was anything but. She was going to question Will; the man who – as much as she hated to admit it - knew her better than anyone else. She couldn't use her normal strategy; in fact she couldn't strategise at all. She had to be fearlessly truthful, but strong; passionate but in control – she had to work it perfectly. She knew she would break down, she thought he probably would too, but she needed answers and she needed them now.

She took a deep breath, knowing that this was going to be one of the more awful conversations she'd ever had to have, and walked out of her bedroom. Before facing her opposition, she stopped at the kitchen to grab a bottle of wine and a glass, purposefully only taking one glass as a way to let Will know – without having to say it – that he wasn't a welcome guest in her home. She knew she was being infantile, but she didn't feel very adult right now. She was putting on her fighting face, but inside, she still felt like the crumbling mess who had stepped out of the shower just 5 minutes ago. She walked on shaky limbs into the living room and watched as Will raised his head from his spot on the couch to look in her direction, she took a seat away from him on the arm chair, poured her wine, set down the bottle and took a long sip out of her glass. She was stalling. She took another sip, noting that Wills eyes still had not left her. She didn't know what to do or say, she suddenly felt like the crumbling mess that she had tucked away was coming to the surface. A single tear made a path down her cheek. Will was the first one to break the silence.

"Alicia I can't bear seeing you like this. What happened? You were fine". He looked at her with such longing in his eyes that Alicia nearly forgot what had happened; nearly.

"What happened?" Her voice shook, but grew louder still, "What happened? You happened Will. You and your engagement and your lies and your bravado and your bullshit luring me into thinking that you actually cared about me. I let myself think that you weren't like Peter, that you wouldn't lie to me, or go behind my back, or hurt me on purpose, clearly I'm not a good judge of character".

More tears fell down her face and she wasn't inclined to stop them. Will had seen her laid bare more than once and in more than one way - emotionally, intellectually, sexually – and she no longer felt like letting him see her so vulnerable was a weakness. It was strength. She wasn't afraid of being hurt anymore. How could she be when she had already been hurt so many times and by people she loved? The only thing she could do was take this pain, take this hurt, take this heartache, and use it to fuel her. Use it to finally be heard.

Vulnerability was not a weakness. It was strength.

She captured Will in a gaze full of knowing and watched him go through a spectrum of emotion. His face went from confusion, to hurt, to anger, to confusion, to some more hurt and to what could only be described as desire before answering.

"I truly do not know what I've done to you Alicia. I don't understand what could have made you this mad at me. But you know me, I would say better than anyone else, and you know that I am not Peter. I know you know that. I would never intentionally hurt you. Even after everything that happened in the last year and a half. I love you. Tell me what happened".

Those three words.

Three words to make a heart stop. Three words to change everything. Three words to fuel Alicia's fight.

"Let's talk about when Grace was born. All the years since then. If you don't fancy the discussion, I could give Kalinda a call. I mean, she fucked my husband and then went behind my back and investigated my life for the man I used to fuck, so she kind of owes me".

Will

She found out.

It was the first thought to enter his mind. The confusion had lifted. She knows. For a moment he was paralyzed. He hated that she had clearly found out in such a backhanded way, but she hated even more how she referred to him as someone she "used to fuck". It was more than that. They both knew that. He watched as more tears fell down her face and he was unable to form words. There were no words that could make her understand why he had done what he did. To her it would always be a betrayal, just as her leaving him would be. As more tears fell down her face, the guilt showered over him. It was him that had reduced her to the broken woman he saw crying on the floor of a shower. It was him that hurt her so awfully. She was right. He was Peter in this story and that resonated with him more than her harsh – but true – words.

"Alicia, I ... I'm -"

"I don't want your sympathy Will or your apologies. It doesn't mean anything anyway. I want to know why you did it. I want to know why you didn't tell me and I certainly want to know every single detail that you found out. They're my truths Will. And you had no right, none what so ever, to keep me from them".

She was right. Every single word hit a nerve. Sliced through his facade and urged him to tell her the truth she desired; the truth she deserved. He took a deep breath and dared to look back up at her face. Her eyes bore straight back into his. He loved her, he did. He was head over heels for her and that would never change, even though he knew it would for her; as soon as he told her everything.

"I'll tell you everything. But Alicia I need you to really listen and try to understand. Just please".

"I'm listening Will, but don't rely on getting any sense of understanding from me, I don't know if I'm capable of it".

He felt himself nodding, before he really thought about it. Sighing, he started his explanation.

"It was when Peter was running for States Attorney the 2nd time. You were different. With me, with Kalinda, with everyone and then Kalinda told me you'd separated from Peter ..." He paused expecting a reaction, but when Alicia's face remained passive, he continued. "I knew that if you had separated, something must have happened, something awful. It killed me to think that you were hurting again because of him. I wanted to know that there was nothing that could do that to you again, so I called Kalinda. In retrospect, I see now how stupid that was; cos of course she didn't tell me that she was the reason for your separation. I promise you I didn't know about her until you just mentioned it". He watched as she seemed to take in this information and nodded at him; a clear sign that she wanted him to continue. "It didn't take her long. But the information she had was vast. I didn't ask questions, I truly don't know how she found the information, but I know what hard evidence she had I made her destroy. I didn't want it to fall into the hands of a person who would use it to hurt you. I've never wanted that. I realise how naive that is. And I see the irony in the fact that I've ended up as the one who hurt you, but I still don't think finding the truth was a bad thing"

"Are you kidding me? You don't think what you did was a mistake? You found information that could have changed my life. It could have changed _our_ lives if you'd just told me".

He flinched when she said "our". He could hear the anger in her tone, but hung his hopes on the fact that she entwined this information with both of them, with a life they both could have had. He was still hoping that they could still be together as naive as that may be.

"That's exactly why I didn't tell you Leesh", he threw in her old nickname, hoping it would throw her for a loop, make her slow down, reminisce on their lives together at Georgetown. It didn't. She didn't miss a beat.

"I told you I didn't want excuses Will".

"Alicia, listen to me, not a week after I found out, we were on the death row case. We were together and you were finally giving me everything I wanted. You were finally letting yourself have everything you wanted, and I didn't want to ruin that. Can you honestly tell me that if I had told you at that point we still would have had whatever we had?"

"I would have been angry with you Will, of course I would have. You went behind my back. But I would have finally had the ammunition I needed to leave Peter forever. I would never have left you. I would never have gone back to him. We could have been together in the way that we both really wanted".

He understood that what she was saying was chastising him, but he appreciated the fact that she was finally admitting that she had always wanted more with him. Over the last year that had been his main issue with her; that he had always wanted her while she was just using him to get clients to make her own law firm. He finally saw that that wasn't the case. Sure it wasn't in the best of circumstances, and she hated him right now, but it was a start. Before he could reply, she sighed, and spoke again.

"When I came to you earlier, I wanted us to be perfect. I wanted to believe that everything we went through or would go through would be worth the fight, but I don't think that's the case anymore".

"Alicia come on, I did this for us".

"No. NO. You did this for you. You're too proud to admit that you made a mistake. You're a coward. You ruined us before we even started".

Her words cut like a knife. But she was right; he had ruined them before they were even together. They never had a chance. Not really. And it was his own fault. He felt himself breaking down.

Alicia

Nothing prepared her for the tears she witnessed fall down Wills face. Even their argument 6 months ago hadn't come to this. It hurt her more than she thought it would but it didn't make her apologise. She wasn't there to make him feel better, he was wrong.

"Leesh I'm sorry I am. I'm sorrier than you'll ever know. At the time I just thought I was protecting you and your kids from the truth". She eyed him as he stopped talking, wiped a few tears from his face and tried to catch his breath. "I'm so in love with you Alicia. It's consuming. It's caused me pain, confusion and so much more. I've always wanted to protect you. It probably wasn't my place. And sure what I did was wrong, but I would do it again in a heartbeat. I'd do anything to protect you".

"You'd do it again? Do you really not understand how much this is killing me? If you had told me back then, I would have left Peter, the last year and a half of my life would have been vastly different. I would never have had to go through everything I have".

"Do you think I don't know that? I know I should have told you. I just thought you would have assumed I only wanted to find it out so I could convince you to be with me and not him. It wasn't like that though, I just wanted you protected".

She knew he was telling the truth. Will was nothing like Peter despite what she may have said earlier in the conversation. He would never try to use information he had to get her to do anything, he had always cared for her and she knew that. But it didn't change anything. She felt betrayed. She felt as though he was one of the only people she could trust, and he just took that away. It was as if everything she believed in and everything she had trusted was a lie. No matter what she knew she felt for him, she couldn't risk putting herself in the position to be hurt in this way ever again.

"I can't do this Will".

She watched as Wills face shot up to hers, trying his hardest to convey with a single look every feeling he had. "Alicia please". He was begging, but she wasn't going to let it get to her.

"I can't I just can't. I need you to leave. I need you to send me everything you have about Peter. If you don't have it, make Kalinda get it to me. But I can't do this anymore. Whatever we're doing, it's over. I can't ever feel like this again. It's not fair to me and it's not fair to my children. I can't have another person in my life that I can't trust".

The tears fell at their own will. Wills eyes told her everything she needed to know. He loved her and he was hurting as much as she was. She watched as he stood and walked over to where she was sat. He took her hand. His touch always had the ability to make Alicia's world stop. To make her lose all sense. But right now, her mind was clear. She still felt shivers at his touch, she still wanted nothing more than to kiss him and let him hold her all night before finally starting a life together. But that wasn't their future.  
"Alicia, please, I'm sorry".

She looked down at her hand in his, then back up to meet his gaze. She knew what she was about to do was foolish. She knew it would make it hurt more, but she couldn't remember the last time they kissed. All she could think about was the fact that they were about to be over, and she couldn't remember the last time she had given herself to him; given herself to the passion.

She kissed him.

It was painful and passionate. She could taste his tears on her lips. She felt her arms move - almost of their own accord - around his body. She held herself close to him, happy to feel the closeness, distraught to know it was for the last time. She felt his hand move to her cheek and wipe away some of her stray tears. This wasn't a kiss full of promise; it was goodbye.

This is something she knew Will realised, when he pulled back from her embrace and rested his forehead on hers, before standing and walking towards the door. Before walking out, he stopped and turned to look at her, just as he had 6 months ago.

"I'm never going to stop loving you Alicia Cavanaugh. There's no one else. And if you ever find a way to forgive me, I'm still going to be here because there's no amount of time that could erase how I feel about you".

He opened the door and walked out.

She ran towards the door, envisioning herself opening it, seeing him stood at the elevator and running into his arms. Instead she slammed into the doors and locked it. Turning so her back rested against the cold wood. She slid down it, so she was sat on the floor and heard the familiar bell of the elevator arriving.

He was gone.

She gave herself away to the emotion as she sat on the ground tears streaming down her face; knowing that she had just watched the love of her life walk away. Again.

An hour later, she was still sat in the same spot. She wasn't crying anymore, she assumed there were none left. At some point during her breakdown, Grace had taken a seat next to her and held her as she cried. She knew she should get up and let her daughter know she was okay and that everything was going to be fine. But she couldn't find the strength to do that, and she appreciated that Grace seemed to understand this.

"Mommy, you're going to be okay".

She knew Grace was right. She was going to okay. But it was going to take time. And before she could even think about feeling better, there were conversations she had to have. Peter, Kalinda, Cary probably even Eli. It wasn't going to be "okay" for a long while.

"I know sweetie, I know".

Will

He couldn't recall many times where he had cried. It wasn't often that he let his emotions show outwardly. There was something about Alicia that made him lose all inhibitions. He hadn't gone straight home. He found himself abandoning his car and opting to walk, which in retrospect was a stupid idea, but he needed the fresh air. By the time he got back to his apartment it was 4am. He couldn't remember what time he left Alicia's. He wondered what she was doing now. Was she fine? Was she fast asleep in bed already over what had happened? He liked to think she wasn't okay, that she was as hurt as he was and he knew that was selfish.

When he opened his door, he smelt coffee. Someone was in his apartment. As he walked in he saw her sat at the kitchen counter, sipping on coffee and gazing out of the window.

"Imagine my surprise when I turn up at this apartment at 3 in the morning, to find it empty".

She turned on her chair and looked at him, taking in his appearance. He noticed how she looked. She was trying to portray a sense of calmness, but it was clear that that was not how she was feeling. He took a deep breath;

"What are you doing here?"

**I was planning to finish this story on the next chapter, but I may squeeze a few more out of it, we'll see how it goes! Hope you enjoyed this chapter! **


	8. The Breakups

Will

As he stood at the edge of his kitchen, he watched as her face moved from calm to anger. He knew he was about to face a wrath. As soon as he had seen her his mind had been made up. It was all going to end.

"What am I doing here? Here in _our _apartment you mean? The apartment where you were supposed to be? How about you tell me why you weren't here? And then I'll tell you why I am". She fixed him with a glare that should have made him fearful, but all he felt was fed up. Fed up of wasting his time, fed up of doing what he thought was right instead of what he really wanted to do.

"Tammy I can't do this".

Her face fell. Whatever she had been expecting him to say, it wasn't that. He expected her to scream, to shout, maybe to throw things, but what he hadn't been expecting was laughter. It was the hysterical kind, the kind you do when you're in shock. He contemplated speaking to try and drag her out of her craze, but he decided to ride it out; to let her work through it on her own. The laughter halted as suddenly as it began and she stared at him.

"It's Alicia right? That's where you were all night? You're letting her fool you again?"

"I'm not leaving you for Alicia; she doesn't want anything to do with me anymore". She laughed again, but this time it was more condescending than hysterical.

"So in other words, you want her but she said no? She told you she heard me talking about her in the bathroom didn't she?"

"She heard you?"

The confusion in Wills question was clear, and he could tell by the look that came across Tammy's face and the silence that seemed to fall over her that she regretted mentioning it. Multiple scenarios entered his mind and then it all fell into place. It was her fault that Alicia knew about what he had done. It was her fault that Alicia hated him. It was her fault that the love of his life was broken once again.

"You told her didn't you? How could you Tam"

"Well first of all it wasn't on purpose, she overheard us. And secondly you need to get over it Will; you need to get over her".

Will contemplated his answer before finally speaking, "We're done. You can keep the apartment, I don't like it anyway. And I'll get my stuff picked up tomorrow. I don't love you Tam. I'm not sure if I ever did. And you deserve someone who can love you".

He turned and headed to his bedroom to collect some items that he needed for the night. As he made his way to the door his mind spun. He was leaving. He felt as though a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. As he sat his hand down on the door knob ready to leave, he heard her parting statement;

"She's going to break your heart again Will. And you know she will, because that's what she does. And this time, I won't be there to pick up the pieces".

He didn't turn around. He opened the door and walked straight out. He knew he had made the right decision, there was no doubting that. He knew his old apartment hadn't been sold yet and had already decided that he would sort that out as soon as the sun rose. He realised that living with the ghost of Alicia everyday wasn't as bad as he once thought; it was all he had now.

Alicia

She woke up to the loud buzz of the alarm she had forgotten to turn off. She felt arms draped over her waist and knew immediately that they belonged to Grace. Her head was spinning. She was furious with Peter and pissed at Kalinda but she was disappointed in Will and in many ways that was worse. She realised that Will had no reason to be honest with her in the last year, they weren't together, and they weren't even friends but there was no reason for him not to be honest about it during their relationship or for that matter, after their relationship ended. All she could think about is how she was so hurt when she had to end things with Will ... Peter had changed, she had to give him and her marriage another chance and Will had all these solutions that would have set her free and he kept them to himself. She wasted more of her life trying to save a marriage that in reality had ended over a decade beforehand. That's what hurt the most.

Leaving Grace in her bed, she started to organise herself for the day ahead, first taking a shower. In her mind she had already created a schedule for her day. First on the list, was a visit to Peter. Once upon a time, there was nothing she hated more than driving out to her old home and seeing the man she once loved so truly and so deeply, starting a new family in what was once her haven. But now? Now all she felt was regret. Regret for letting him fool her into thinking they had created the perfect life for their family in that home. By the time she was showered, dressed and ready it was still only 8am. She sat in the kitchen, her fingers tapping rhythmically at the island. She went over and over what she wanted to say. Every now and then her thoughts drifted to Will; as they often did. What was he doing now? Was he awake yet? Did he sleep last night? Is he holding Tammy right now? She felt a pang of jealousy at the last thought and quickly tried to regain focus whilst thinking "you're mad at Will, you're mad at Will, you're mad at Will".

Maybe if she thought it enough, she would remember to believe it.

"Mom? I could hear you thinking from your room".

Alicia was saved from her thoughts of Will by her daughter. She hated how the roles had been reversed and she felt like her 18 year old was the one looking after her. But there would never be words grand enough to explain how much it truly meant to her. Her daughter was grown up. And soon she'd be leaving for college just as Zach had. Then she'd be alone. Just her and her firm. It crossed her mind briefly how she hadn't even considered factoring Finn into the equation.

"Sorry if I woke you sweetie. I'm going to see your father. Clear the air a bit. Movies and popcorn when I get back?" She knew that the only thing that would calm her after a heated conversation would be the company of her daughter.

"Sure mom. And give Dad hell. I know I don't know everything, but I know he hurt you. So don't worry about anything but yourself for a bit okay? I want you to be happy mom".

She smiled at her little girl, reminding herself that she wasn't so little anymore. She was grown up. When did that happen? And how could she make it stop? The idea of both of her children not needing her any more was terrifying.

She took a deep breath, grabbed her coat and walked out the door.

She pulled up outside the still beautiful house where the memories of her children growing up resided. Peter's car was sat in its usual spot on the driveway. She didn't bother to phone him and warn him of her arrival, she didn't want to give him time to prepare. She knew he would be home because he made a point of never working Sundays. She believed it was to fool the voters into thinking he really was a religious man who attended church every Sunday although he denied this any time she asked him about it. She was fully aware that Marilyn would be there playing house in a home that would never truly be hers – but it didn't faze her. She was really starting to believe that with all the curveballs life had thrown at her, nothing could really throw her off her game anymore. She laughed to herself at the baseball reference, knowing that Will would have appreciated it. She chastised herself, remembering quickly how she was still supposed to be angry with him;

"You're mad at Will".

Walking down the driveway and up the steps to the front door still felt so familiar to her. It still felt like going home. Some of her happiest memories happened within this home and that was never going to change. As she knocked the door, it crossed her mind that this would probably be the last time she would ever be in this house. She heard heavy footsteps heading in the direction of the door and was relieved immediately that Peter was the one approaching. She wasn't intimidated by Marilyn in the slightest, but she didn't want to deal with her today. When he opened the door, the shock of seeing his ex wife on his door step was written all over his face. He stepped back as if studying her appearance, trying to guess the nature of her visit.

"Alicia? Hi ... It's not that it's not pleasant to see you on a Sunday morning, but what are you doing here?"

"I have some things I'd like to discuss with you". He seemed confused and unsure, but opened the door further and let her walk past him and into the house. She didn't stop for him to lead her in. She marched straight in to the living room feeling his presence following behind her. As she turned to face him, she didn't feel anger, she felt calm. She wasn't going to argue with him. She wasn't going to ask questions and demand truth; she was going to end it. He gestured for her to sit but she remained standing.

"You know when we divorced, people told me that losing your name and renaming my firm would ruin our reputation. But you know what? It actually made us stronger. Losing our connection to you, made more clients run to us. I think removing you from my life will have the same effect. Our children are grown. You don't need to speak to me about them anymore. So that kind of means that there's no reason for me to have to smile and pretend that I can actually stand having you around me. We can exchange civil nods and hellos at events, but that's all our relationship will be from now on".

She felt calm...

Until she looked at his face to find him smirking.

"Oh come on Alicia be serious. This isn't the first time I've heard a speech like this".

"But it's the last time you'll hear one like it from me. You had me fooled for so long. I thought you were the love of my life, how wrong was I? When I found out about the hookers, I was devastated. When I found out about Kalinda, I was angry. When I found out about Marilyn, I was still angry. When I found out that you started your multiple affairs when I was pregnant with Grace I was devastated and furious and humiliated".

She stopped and stared at him, not allowing herself to look at the ground or appear weak.

"That's ancient history, it happened over 10 years ago for god's sake"

"What I don't feel like you're grasping is that I only just found out Peter, this isn't happening all those years ago for me, it's happening right now". Before giving him a chance to answer, she continued on her tirade. "I don't feel like you are a man capable of change. No matter how much animosity I feel toward Marilyn, I hope for her sake that you grow the hell up. Your actions have consequences Peter. You have children who love you, and with every fuck up, they're pulling further away. Sort yourself out, or all you're going to have in life is your precious governorship ... and your mother".

She didn't wait for an answer and she didn't turn when he called her name but she did pause – for a fraction of a second – when she walked out of the room and found Marilyn sat on the bottom step of the staircase after probably listening to their whole conversation. Alicia offered her a nod, getting a nod and a small smile in return, before exiting the house for what she was certain was the last time.

When she got home, Grace was already set up on the sofa. There was pizza, wine, popcorn and movies. It was exactly what she needed. She threw down her coat and keys, kicked off her shoes and curled up next to Grace.

For the rest of the day, she had no worries. She had no loser ex husband, no work stress, no sort of boyfriend she had to worry about, and definitely no ex lover who she couldn't stop thinking about.

"You're mad at Will, you're mad at Will, you're mad at Will".

Will

He was vaguely aware that someone was calling his name. He wasn't ready to wake up but when he opened his eyes and got his bearings, he remembered he was sleeping in his office. He turned his head slightly and made eye contact with a concerned, but stern looking Diane.

"Will what on earth are you doing? It's 7am on a Monday morning, why are you already here?"

He considered telling he came in early for a case, but thought better of it. At the moment, she was one of the only friends he had and he had no reason to jeopardise that.

"Actually, I've kind of been here since very early Sunday morning ... after I had a huge blow out with Alicia and then ended my relationship with Tammy. I gave her the apartment, so while I work on getting my old one back, this was the only place I knew to go".

He watched Diane's expressions change considerably. He didn't want her sympathy or her pity but he appreciated her just for listening.

"You could have stayed with me and Kurt. But that's ... interesting information". He could tell she wanted to say more, but tried to control herself.

"Yeah ... interesting is the perfect word but I'm not one to dwell. So what's on the agenda for today?"

"Well actually Will, I was going to ask you to take my case this morning, I'm double booked". He'd already decided he was going to do it, anything to get him out of his office, but then she continued talking "it's against Finn Polmar..."

"Oh".

He didn't want to go up against him. Not so soon after everything that had happened with Alicia. He didn't want to be in court thinking about his opposition with the woman he loved. It almost made him feel queasy. But he agreed to do it. Diane gave him the keys to her apartment in the city so he could go and clean himself up before heading to court. As he was organising himself to leave, Kalinda was at his door. He wasn't sure if she knew what had happened. He didn't know how she would know, but that never seemed to stop Kalinda.

"Diane said you're taking over her case and I should offer assistance. She also said you argued with Alicia and broke up with Tammy ... so if you need assistance with that I can help out there too".

She sat on his couch and opened her notebook. He went straight for the jugular.

"So you slept with Peter Florrick".

She laughed. Will assumed it was not in a "ha-ha" way, but in a "this is none of your business" way, which is why he was surprised when she responded.

"I'm coming to the conclusion that you and Alicia discussed a hell of a lot. But yes. I did sleep with Peter. No, I'm not telling you why. Yes, that is why Alicia and I lost touch for a while and no, it wasn't an on-going affair. Does that satisfy your curiosity?"

He cleared his throat awkwardly before answering, "Yes". He considered his words before continuing to talk "Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but you may have more issues to come in your relationship with Alicia. She knows that I asked you to look into Peter".

"Ah. It's all so clear now. She left me a voicemail asking if we could talk sometime".

"Sorry K. Blame it all on me. I did ask you to do it after all".

"Yeah but I could have said no. It's fine Will. I can handle myself. Now go clean up, you look like crap. I'll meet you at court in 2 hours and catch you up". With that, she stood and left the room. He was almost surprised, he had expected more of a reaction ... and then he remembered who he was talking to. Collecting his belongings, he left the office and headed to Diane's.

He got to court as close to the start time as possible. He assumed this would mean less time to make idle chit chat with Finn. After grabbing snippets of information from Kalinda, he entered the courtroom and took his seat, immediately pulling Finns attention.

"Will? I was expecting Diane. Not that I mind, she scares me a bit" Will watched as he laughed to himself before continuing. "Sorry I had to leave early Saturday, duty calls. Alicia said she left not long after me so I guess it worked out okay".

Will decided to feign innocence; after all he was unaware of what Alicia had told Finn. This was his chance to find out how close they really were.

"Yeah I saw her leave, she looked a bit flustered, everything okay there?"

"Oh yeah of course, she just felt ill and wanted to get home. She'll actually be here eventually, she wants to get lunch".

The judge came in then, which meant an end to their conversation. Wills mind was spinning. She hadn't told him the truth, so she obviously didn't care that much about him right? But she wanted to see him for lunch so she obviously still enjoyed his company.

He was doing well. The judge was on his side and it seemed like the jury was too. He knew that he was trying hard because he was anticipating her arrival. He knew that she always loved watching him in court. He knew it was wrong, he knew she had moved on, but he also knew that however much she wanted to deny it, she loved him.

After an hour, the door opened and he stilled for a fraction of a second as his witness spoke. He didn't turn around because he knew one look at her would make him crumble. But he knew it was her. He was accustomed to the sound of her heels against the floor. He felt a thrill that he only ever felt whilst in her presence. He used it to fuel his passion to win.

Alicia

She was taken back when she entered the courtroom but as much as she hated to admit it, she was pleased to see Will at the defence table instead of Diane. It had been too long since she'd been able to just admire how he worked. Ever since Georgetown, the power he was able to hold over a courtroom did things to her that she couldn't explain. It had once intimidated her. But she was still always in awe.

Since their last conversation, she had thought of hardly anything but him; something that hadn't gone unnoticed by her daughter.

"_Mom? Are you happy?"_

The question had taken her by surprise due to the fact that it had come out of the blue but even more so because she had no idea how to answer the seemingly simple question.

"_I'm happy with you. And I'm happy with work"._

"_But what about when I go to college? Me and Zach were talking earlier, we don't want you to be alone Mom. We want you to be happy"._

_She felt overwhelmed. Once again her daughter was proving how grown up and remarkable she had become. _

"_I know you're angry with Will, but is it fixable? Because he was so concerned when he got here the other day and when he saw you in the shower, he looked so sad. I think he might be in love with you, mom"_

_Alicia smiled to herself thinking about how sharp her daughter was._

"_I think you might be right sweetie. But me and Will ... there's a whole lot of stuff going on there. It's tricky"._

"_It's only tricky when you make it tricky"._

She had to stop herself from laughing in court. She loved her daughter. She loved how it was her concern during that conversation that had made her realise that she needed to finish whatever she had with Finn. She knew it was never a long time thing. It was still going to hurt, but she knew it wasn't going to be heartbreaking. Her world wasn't going to stop turning, and she probably wouldn't cry. But it didn't mean that her time with Finn had been meaningless. He had put her back together after Peter had broken her. Just as Will had years before.

She had completely lost track of what was happening. Will was still questioning his witness. As wrong as it was, her eyes were hungrily scanning his body. She was relieved to be able to sit, unnoticed and think about him in a way she had been stopping herself from doing for too long. She was attuned to his every movement and concentrated on every step, which is why when he turned in her direction and made eye contact before taking his seat; she couldn't stop the smile that spread across her face. She quickly tried to disguise it, but she knew he'd already seen it as he sent her a small, confused but happy smile in return.

She was in love with him. She hated him. She hated him so, so much, but she loved him. She thought about his closing statement 2 days previous;

"_I'm never going to stop loving you Alicia Cavanaugh. There's no one else. And if you ever find a way to forgive me, I'm still going to be here because there's no amount of time that could erase how I feel about you"._

In that moment she knew she felt exactly the same. Nothing he had done, or anything he could ever do, would ever make her stop loving him. She didn't know how it would work, or even if she would do anything about it at all, but she knew that she loved him.

Half an hour later, when she was entering the coffee house with Finn, she was completely sure of her decision. She gave the usual generic explanations. She explained how happy he had made her and how pleased she was to have spent so much time with him. She wasn't surprised when he was completely gracious about the whole situation.

"You don't have to explain Alicia. We had a great time together. And I feel blessed to have been allowed in your life. Go get what you want now okay?"

"Excuse me?"

She watched as a sly smile spread across his face "Will". She felt certain that a violent red blush had spread across her face. He knew? Of course he did.

"I can't. There's too much water under the bridge. It's too hard". He looked thoughtful for a minute before laughing to himself.

"You can waste your life drawing lines, or you can live your life crossing them ... You think you have forever but you don't. You never think the last time is the last time. The only remedy for that is to take chances. Take risks. Playing it safe is easy; it's the risks that will change your life".

Alicia laughed quietly. "That was incredibly profound Finn. Straight out of a movie".

"Okay don't laugh at me but I'm pretty sure I quoted a lot of that straight out of Grey's Anatomy".

She raised an eyebrow at him before laughing again.

"Seriously Alicia, take the chance. You deserve to be happy more than anyone else I know".

She stood, walked to his side of the table and placed a soft kiss on his lips before pulling him into a deep hug. "You're an amazing man Mr Polmar. Don't be a stranger? Please? I couldn't bear it".

"Of course not. And besides, I still get the pleasure of getting my ass handed to me by you in court"

"Thank you Finn, really ... thank you". With that, she gathered her belongings and left the coffee shop.

Before she really knew what she was doing, she was outside the all too familiar building. She could feel her heartbeat increasing. She walked the familiar steps, saw the familiar surroundings. With each step she knew she was closer to where she truly wanted to be. Stepping out of the lift she felt multiple eyes land on her - surprised by her unexpected appearance in the office - as they usually did in this building these days. No one bothered to stop her as she bypassed reception; she already knew where she _needed _to be. When she reached the room where she knew he would be – where she wanted to be – she smiled to herself. He sat with his back to her, throwing a baseball from one hand to the other, staring out of the window. As she walked to his door, she took a few moment s to watch him, the ball still being flung back and forth, back and forth;

"Back to the miners?"

**Finally there is a light at the end of the tunnel for the Willicia shippers. Sorry again that I took so long to update, I really have no idea where this is going. I originally wrote that it was Kalinda at his apartment at the beginning but decided this morning that I hated that. And I apologise for the shameless Greys references but i'm currently watching it again from season 1. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Any ideas for the next bit let me know, because i'm stuck ... Happy Saturday everyone! **


	9. The Fresh Start

Will

"Back to the miners?"

He didn't need to turn around. The familiarity of the question paired with the unmistakable tone of her voice and the always intoxicating scent of her perfume was enough to alert him of her presence. To say he was shocked by her being there would have been an understatement.

He laughed to himself whilst formulating an answer; "I _still_ think I could have made it". Spinning his chair slightly, he dared to look in her direction. She was looking directly at him, with the hint of a smile playing at her lips. He was distracted for a second by them, as he always was. She had one arm on the doorframe, one foot in his office and one still on the threshold, showing that she was more uncertain than she was letting off. He gestured for her to come in and watched as she took a step before pausing slightly, looking at the couch and its proximity to him before sitting down. He watched as the dress - that lay just above her knee – rose to her thigh as she crossed her legs slowly, causing him to catch his breath and alter his eye line. It still shocked him how the smallest amount of her porcelain skin on show could have such a raw effect on him.

He was resistant to continue the conversation even though all he wanted was to know why she was there. He watched as her gaze landed on something in the corner, causing her brow to furrow and her head to turn back to him.

"What's with the suitcase? Going somewhere?" He laughed inwardly remembering how Alicia often had the ability to focus on anything other than the matter at hand; except in the courtroom.

"No, actually I'm going home". He watched as her brow furrowed again, clearly confused, before he expanded on his answer "I've been sleeping here since I last saw you". The confusion cleared away, and he thought he saw a hint of happiness in her features as she seemed to grasp the fact that he had been sleeping separately from Tammy. She hid the look as quickly as it had appeared.

"Well ... at least this couch is comfy". He laughed - probably more than necessary - as she made a show of wiggling around on her spot on the couch, before resting her head back and laughing with him.

"That has been my saving grace actually". He watched as she continued to laugh and was surprised that she hadn't asked why he was sleeping there. He assumed she probably didn't care; assumed that she was only in his office for work. But he couldn't shake the feeling that there was something different about her. "Anyway, I'm assuming when you came here it wasn't to talk about my couch?" He raised an eyebrow at her, and she shook her head whilst straightening on the couch.

"Actually no, it was to tell you that I want to talk".

His head filled instantly asking himself multiple questions; "Does she want to talk about work?" He quickly thought about all his cases, realising he had none against her; not work. "Does she want to talk about _us_?" As far as he knew she was still with Finn; not about them. He settled on the fact that it was probably more about what he knew about Peter and felt his stomach fall.

"But not here, this is an invitation to talk; a prelude to a conversation if you will". This time it was his turn to be confused as he threw her a baffled look, "Finn said you're back in court with him later, so I know you don't have much time now and I don't really want to do it here. We need quiet, and wine of course, so I thought maybe later, you could come to mine? I promise I won't shout, ask you to leave or swear at you this time". He studied her as she laughed nervously and tried to avoid eye contact. He noticed how she dropped Finns name into the conversation and felt himself tense slightly. But she wanted to talk – and not shout – and right now, he would grasp at any straw she gave him.

"Yeah. Sure, 8 okay?" He watched as she let out the breath she had obviously been holding in anticipation of his response and visibly relaxed.

"8. Yes, that's perfect", she stood slowly, smoothing out her outfit. Wills eyes followed the paths her hands made down her dress, wishing it were his hands. "I'll see you later then I guess. Don't be late". With that, she made her way to the door, pausing slightly and smiling back at him before rounding the corner.

He watched her walk away from him and down the corridor through his window. She was magnificent. But he'd always known that. He sat back down on his chair, resting his head on the back. He couldn't come up with any reason she would have shown up, but he suddenly felt hopeful. He'd assumed just over 24hours ago, when she'd told him to leave, and the kissed him, that he had lost all hope of ever getting her back. But he was going to use tonight to do just that.

She had to know how sorry he was.

As he arrived back at court that afternoon he felt different. The turn of events had certainly made him feel lighter. He had assumed that getting back into Alicia's good graces would have taken time, persistence, a lot of grovelling and probably some Tequila. But then there she was, sat in his office, throwing him an olive branch. As he took his seat he looked over and saw that Finn hadn't arrived yet. He wondered how much about Alicia he really knew. Did he know Alicia had been to see him? Did he know about their past? As his mind filled with all these questions, the door opened and Finn walked to his seat, looking more determined than ever. He looked at Will, and nodded at him. He didn't seem as chatty as he had been that morning, but Will tried not to read too much in to it. He remembered him mentioning lunch with Alicia, and it struck Will that she had obviously cut it short since she was at his office not too long after they had gone for recess. He didn't want to pry, he knew it was childish and he was out of line, but when it came to Alicia, he was willing to do anything.

"Welcome back. You're cutting it fine. Good lunch with Alicia?" Finn rolled his eyes and smirked a little, causing Will to tense. He was missing something, he just didn't know what.

"Actually we didn't get lunch". Will assumed that was all he was going to say on the matter, when he continued speaking. "We got a breakup instead".

Will felt as though his heart had leapt up into his mouth. She had broken up with Finn, and immediately gone to him. He found himself thinking questions such as "What does this mean?" Realising how girly that sounded and shaking the thought from his head, he tried to concentrate on the man in front of him and trying to keep the smile off his face.

"Aw shit man, sorry" – he was anything but – "We should grab a drink some time, talk about our failed relationships".

"Oh you too huh?" Will thought he heard him whisper something like "that's ironic" but tried not to think too much into it. "I'm cool though. I knew it was coming. Me and Alicia? It was never gunna work. Not when she's clearly in love with you".

That was a response Will hadn't been expecting. He opened his mouth hoping words would come, but they didn't and he was glad when the conversation was cut short by the Judges arrival. Will turned from Finn, trying to think about anything other than the words that had just escaped from his opponents' mouth.

If other people could see their love, why couldn't they? Or better yet, why couldn't she?

Alicia

She felt nervous. She didn't know how the night was going to go. Since her surprise visit to his office, she felt fairly certain that Will and Tammy were either rocky, or over. She was hoping it was the latter. However since she had arrived home from work, she hadn't been able to concentrate. She had cleaned the apartment, dusting spots that hadn't been reached since she moved in over 5 years ago. She paced back and forth – a lot. She had picked out an outfit that she wanted to wear; not too sexy but not too conservative. She had prepared and ate some food. And now she was back where she had started. It was only half 6. And the anticipation of his arrival was about to send her over the edge.

She figured the only thing that would calm her nerves, would be a bath. She turned on some music, and turned up the volume whilst walking towards the tub. Stepping out of her clothes and into her large bath tub, she felt the stress and anxiety fall off her. She had never been a bath person, but she couldn't deny that it was the _second_ best stress reliever there was. She sighed loudly. A lot had happened in the last few days. More than what would happen in a year of some people lives. It was a lot to process, but at the end of the day, she knew the person she wanted to process it with, was Will.

She felt the steam from the hot bath entrap her. She felt beads of sweat gather on her forehead and run down her face as a result on the steaming hot water. And she felt her eyelids get heavier and heavier.

"Alicia ... Alicia?"

She was vaguely aware of a voice. As she opened her eyes, still blurry from her unexpected sleep, she saw the outline of a person stood in her bathroom doorway and screamed. She screamed loudly. Water spilled all over the floor as she leapt from the bath tub – still screaming - and found herself stood – completely naked – in front of Will.

"Shit Alicia, I'm sorry", she watched in embarrassment as he turned his back on her and muttered apologies into the direction of her bedroom. "I promise I literally just walked in to the room. I haven't been stood there like a creep or anything". As embarrassed as she may have felt, she knew he felt worse. And she couldn't stop the hysterical laughter that fell from her lips. He turned and gaped at her. She was doubled over laughing. She watched as he took in the scene and didn't try to stop the laughter that was now coming from him. It took her longer than it should have to remember that she was, in fact, very naked. She caught Wills eyes scoop over her body as she grabbed the nearest towel.

"Of all the ways to start our evening, I did not expect it to be with me naked and screaming in my bathroom". She saw the change in Wills face, as he smirked. And the reality of what she had just said hit her.

"Well that's nothing I haven't seen before".

She jabbed him in the shoulder before moving past him to her bedroom and signalling for him to leave.

"Get out now perv". She followed him with her eyes as he chuckled and started to leave the room. "There's wine in the fridge. You know where the glasses are. Make yourself comfortable. I'll be a few minutes".

She fell backwards onto her bed and laughed to herself. This situation would have been horrifying to most people, and yet they both fell in to a fit of hysterical. It was so them. Bad timing in the best way. Taking into consideration the fact that since he had already seen her naked that night, there was no point dressing up. Throwing the outfit she had picked out earlier that evening back into her wardrobe she pulled out a black strappy top and a comfy pair of jeans. She didn't know where they were going to end up, but she opted for lace underwear. She told herself it was for her, and not for Will. Whilst trying to bury the fact that she knew he would like her in it. She had never intended for her thoughts of the evening to be about sex, but seeing the way he looked at her as she stood naked in front of him, had an effect on her. He always made her feel beautiful. She knew her body wouldn't compare to all the other young women he seemed to go for, but he still made her feel as though she were the only woman he had ever touched, looked at, felt ... loved.

As she tried to shake the thoughts of his hands on her body out of her head, she made her way into the living room where Will sat on one end of the couch with a glass of wine in his hands. Less than 48 hours ago when they were in this same place, she opted to sit as far away from him as she could, this time, feeling a little more at ease, she sat at the opposite end of the couch. She grabbed the glass of wine Will had already poured for her, leaned back on the arm of couch so she was facing him and tucked her legs under herself. Whilst looking at him, it was impossible not to notice the remains of a smirk on his face.

"Okay so first, stop smirking and second how did you get in to my house?"

He laughed louder than necessary, and turned to face her, mirroring the way in which she was sat. He smiled widely, "When things are highly hilarious, I smirk. And you need to find a new hiding place for your spare key. The plant pot is waaaaay to obvious". He laughed again and she couldn't help but feel the lightness between them. It was hard to believe that not too long ago the atmosphere was extremely hostile.

"I think I'll just change my locks, I don't want just anyone waltzing in whilst I bathe. And by the way, you were half an hour early". She cocked an eyebrow at him, disapprovingly.

"Well you did tell me not to be late. And like I said, it's nothing I haven't seen before Leesh" He paused slightly, looking at her with a smile that she recognised, and she could tell he was hesitant to ask her something. "So ... why am I here?"

There were multiple ways she could go about this. She could play it cool, pretend she just thinks they could "hang out". She could ask to start dating him. She could ask to start what they had before like a sort of no strings attached situation. Or, she could go all in; lay everything on the line and hope he follows her in. She felt her palms get sweaty and she moved them down her legs. Taking another - rather large – gulp of her wine, she took a deep breath and got ready to jump.

"Finn and I ..." She paused slightly trying to find the words. "We broke up ..."

"Yeah I know. He told me". The smirk was back. His head was cocked to the side as if he knew what she wanted to say and he was challenging her to say it. This was it.

Time to rip off the band-aid.

All in.

"I don't know that I forgive you entirely for not telling me everything Will, but what I do know, is that I'm so in love with you. Apparently everyone could see that, including my kids and Finn may I add. And I don't know what's happening in your life right now, but what I do know is that you're sleeping on your office couch. And I love you".

She felt nauseous all of a sudden. Her pulse was racing, her palms were sweaty and she was already starting to seriously doubt opening her mouth. However, any doubts she may have had were banished as she watched his smirk turned into a genuine smile. He leant over the sofa, kissed her softly on the lips, and moved back to his spot, still smiling.

"Me and Tammy are over. She told me you'd break my heart, so please, just try not to break my heart, if we're doing this, we're doing it properly. We're all in, or we're nothing. You know I love you Alicia, I've loved you since Georgetown. I just want to be with you".

"I'm all in Will. I want to be with you too ... properly this time. Of course there's gotta be some ground rules". He let out a throaty laugh and looked at her as if she were mad. She didn't want to ruin the intimate and passionate discussion they were having, but they had so much baggage and there was so much going on in both of their lives that she didn't want anything to get messed up. It had to work this time. She knew she was making sense. There had to be boundaries. "I'm serious Will! We keep this to ourselves for a while, give people a chance to get used to the breakups. And absolutely no discussing our clients. Oh and no sex". She watched as his face fell, and she had to stifle a laugh. "Not yet anyway. That's where we started last time, and I want this to be different".

From the look on his face, he wasn't a huge fan of the no sex rule, but she knew he would understand it. They had to take it slow this time. There were more people than ever before who could be affected by their relationship and she didn't want to make anything more complicated than it already was.

"I get it, I really do. We'll take it slow".

As she smiled up at him, and he smiled back – for millionth time that night – she couldn't stop her eyes from going to his lips. As she moved over to him, sitting comfortably on his lap, she heard his low chuckle followed by a murmured "Taking it slow huh?"

"You know, when you're taking things slow, you can still kiss".

He moved his hand to her face, looking directly into her eyes, and kissed her.

To Alicia, it felt like coming up for air. It was as if they had never stopped doing it. She always felt like that when kissing him. It always felt as if they were the only two people in the world. She could feel him smiling into the kiss whilst moving his hands up and down her body. She knew she had missed it; missed his hands, his lips his body. But what she found was that what she actually missed the most was just being with him and being happy. She had spent so much time at war with him that she had actually started to resent him. But being like this with him made it clear that it was where she needed to be all along.

They were both so wrapped up in the kiss that neither heard the door open or close.

"Oh hi mom ... Will".

She moved immediately so she was no longer straddling Will, but still remained close to him. She grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze for encouragement as she looked up at her daughter who was grinning down at them, clearly trying her best not to laugh. She felt her cheeks get flushed and her palms sweat. She was horrified. But clearly her daughter wasn't as she was still laughing. Will hadn't said a word. And he was looking more uncomfortable than Alicia had ever seen him. She had to admit that seeing him looking so awkward gave her a small bit of joy.

"Grace! You're supposed to be at Shannon's".

"Well Shannon had a migraine so I thought I'd come keep my lonely mom company but clearly I am not needed. Hi Will ... nice to see you again".

Alicia laughed, enjoying her daughters ease and sense of humour.

"Hey Grace. I hoped I'd be meeting you officially in a much better way ... but this will have to do I guess".

"There could have been worse ways".

"That's very true. But still, I maybe would have preferred a dinner or something. Anything other than this really".

She had always felt nervous of Will meeting her children. But as she watched them talk back and forth so easily, she hated herself for ever thinking it couldn't work. She was so scared of her two lives colliding, that she never stopped to think about how amazing it could be if they did.

"Mom? Are you listening? Pizza and a movie?"

"Sounds good honey. Why don't you go out to the kitchen to order so I can have a chat with Will for a sec?" She watched her daughter leave the room looking rather content with the plan for the night. She turned her attention to Will and they both laughed.

"I'm so sorry Will, I thought she'd be gone all night".

"Well I'm mortified. But she doesn't seem like we've scarred her for life".

"She told me just yesterday that she didn't want me to be alone when she goes to college so I'm guessing she's fine". She laughed to herself at the memory "but maybe for now, no more kissing. At least until we have some privacy".

Will chuckled. "That doesn't mean you have to retreat to the other side of the sofa. Come here".

She tucked herself under his arm and he placed a soft kiss on top of her head. Grace came back in shortly after, chose a film and settled on the floor.

The night was blissful. It was the first time in a long time that she felt truly happy. She felt like she finally had everything she needed and everything piece of her life was finally falling into place.

Will fell asleep half way through the movie, and rather than move him, she pulled a blanket over them both and settled down next to him. It struck her immediately how natural it felt to be like this with him in her home. It was as though it was what had been missing for all this time.

Of course there would be obstacles along the way, but they were finally together and she was finally allowing herself to have the one thing she had been denying herself for more than 20 years.

She had real love.

**I'm not a big fan of this chapter, I rushed it because I was getting so many update requests and I wanted to make you all happy hahah! But none the less, I hope you enjoy it. I have an idea for the next chapter so i'm going to start that now! Thanks for sticking with me. And again, thank you for the wonderful reviews. I'm not a writer, and this is actually the first extended bit of writing i've ever done, so i really appreciate all your kind words! **

**Chrissie- I hope i "fixed it" for you. and i'm glad you enjoy reading this so much! Your reviews always make me smile from ear to ear! xx**

**Missthirdward- please NEVER apologise for your long reviews. They make me giggle and smile and i LOVE and appreciate them every time xx**


	10. The Reunion

Will

The last month had been bliss. He thought the months he had spent with Alicia years before had been perfect, however they didn't compare to this. This was different; they were different. They weren't "out" as a couple yet, which meant they got to live pretty much undisturbed. They only let a few select people in on the news, first was Zach, since Grace already – accidently – knew, then Diane and Cary and then Kalinda; because she would have found out anyway. They weren't totally surprised by the support they had received from each person; they both assumed that they probably thought it was inevitable as they did.

In moments when he was alone, he found himself unable to escape thoughts of the time they had been spending together. She'd always been the main subject of his day dreams but these days she was the only subject. They'd been to countless restaurants, watched an exuberant amount of movies, had many lunches with Grace, hung out at each other's offices and even gone for strolls in the park. It was the mundane things that couples do; but with Alicia, it was different. Everything felt so completely normal, but still absolutely extraordinary. They still hadn't had sex. But he found himself not even caring. He found moments where they were just holding each other, or holding hands at the table, more intimate than sex had ever been. The idea of them truly allowing themselves to be in love finally, was greater than sex would ever be.

He was sat in the dining room listening to Alicia complaining that she had nothing to wear whilst packing in the bedroom. The invitations had arrived 2 weeks earlier and they were both excited but sceptical. It was time for a Georgetown reunion. They hadn't outed their relationship to the world yet and they knew if any of their old friends saw them together again, they would know they were more than just friends immediately. None the less, they had decided to go together and just use the friends accompanying each other excuse. Will chuckled to himself as he listened to Alicia cursing quietly, and his thoughts drifted to when the invitation had arrived.

"_So we should go to this thing together Leesh", he watched as she eyed him suspiciously._

"_Why would we do that? Most of the people we see everyday don't know but you want to tell people we haven't seen in over a decade?"_

"_People you haven't seen. I go to all the reunions. But seriously, it could be a good test run for us, and you know, my mom lives in DC now ..." He watched as her eyes grew wide; a deer caught in the headlights._

"_Will seriously? You want me to meet your mom so soon after your cancelled engagement?"_

"_Alicia I love you. And my family have always known that. We'll stop in, have a coffee and probably cake, and then we'll go to the reunion game". He knew that she was comfortable with the idea, but he always knew that she wouldn't say know as she would know how important it was to him._

"_Okay fine". He watched as she sighed loudly and he couldn't stop himself from chuckling. "But I'm going to be so nervous Will so you better be nice. I already feel sick."_

He jumped when he heard another – louder – curse from the bedroom and couldn't stop his guffaw. She poked her head out of the door. Her hair was a mess and she was flushed. She had a stern look on her face and she fixed him with a glacial stare;

"Are you laughing at me? Because this is not funny, it's tragic. I have nothing to wear".

"Babe you said you and Grace found a new dress yesterday, wear that. Grace said it's amazing".

"Oh I don't care about that. I mean for meeting your mom. I have nothing to wear to meet her!"

He suddenly found himself in hysterics and receiving evil glares from the woman he loved.

"I'm sorry but are you serious? She's an old lady. She doesn't care what you're wearing. And you always look beautiful. So anything is fine."

He heard her mumble something incoherently and stalk back off into the room. She'd always had the slight tendency to over react. He got up and followed her into the room to find her sat on the floor surrounded by a sea of clothes that had been thrown from her closet.

"Wow".

It was the only word that had entered his mind. He could see the distress etched on her face as she looked up at him through her eyelashes. It was completely endearing. He couldn't believe he finally had her. He knew his life was going to revolve around making her happy now. And that in turn, made him happy. Making room within the mountains of clothes and sitting down next to her, he formulated a plan.

"How about this, I arrange it so that we have to go straight from my mom's to the game? That way we can both wear our Georgetown stuff? You don't need to worry about outfits then".

The look she gave him made him feel like he hung the moon. She crawled from her space next to the closet, and wrapped her arms around his neck, placing a soft, but passionate kiss on his lips.

"What on earth did I do to deserve you Will Gardner?"

Alicia

They had arrived in Washington an hour ago and they were making their way to his mother's house. Alicia could feel her stomach turning. This is only the second time in her life that she's ever had to do one of these kinds of lunches. She never felt nervous meeting Jackie, she never really cared whether she had her approval or not. Right now, all she can think about is how _his_ mom has to like her. It somehow feels more important this time around. So many things have come between them in the past, and she will not allow his mother not liking her to derail them.

When they arrived outside her door, he squeezed her hand as a sign of encouragement before letting go and knocking. She was immediately alarmed as she heard multiple voices approaching. She turned and looked at Will who looked equally as confused as she was; not a good sign.

The door opened and everything became clear.

"Hey big brother!"From stories Will had told her, she knew the first sister to speak – his younger sister – was Aubrey. She didn't really look Will. She was blonde, and much shorter.

"Aubrey, Sara ... what are you doing here?" Alicia watched as Sara smirked at him and laughed.

"Mom told us you were coming. And then I told Lily and she just _had_ to see her favourite uncle Will". Alicia watched as Wills face seemed to glow. He adored his little niece. He often told her stories about the times he had seen her. She was pulled from her thoughts by Sara turning her attention to her; she didn't seem too pleased to see her, as if she had somehow ruined some plan.

"I don't believe we've met". She went to answer, whilst glancing at Will for support, but was interrupted by Aubrey.

"She's his lawyer friend. They were giving each other sultry looks at his engagement party".

She felt her face burn up as they walked in to the living room. Will grabbed her hand again and she felt her heartbeat start to slow. That was until she caught sight of Wills mother laughing in conversation with the strikingly beautiful blonde sat next to her on the couch. She looked at Will in time to see his face fall and his brow furrow. Whoever this girl was, Will seemed angered by her presence, and that was enough to both placate and concern Alicia.

She watched as the unknown blonde caught Wills eye, beamed at him and stood to make her way to him. Her limbs were long, her hair was shiny, her smile was bright, her figure was perfect and Alicia hated her. She was the perfect woman; the type of woman Alicia had often seen Will date. She felt her stomach turn again. She was getting warm and felt herself start to sweat. She pulled her hand out of Wills grasp and caught his confused but hurt sideward's glance.

"Will! It's so good to see you!"

Her voice was almost like music. Her perfection was sickening. Of course she was bias and probably over exaggerating everything, but again, she hated her. Will forced out a greeting and removed himself from her embrace making Alicia do a dance inside. She watched as the unknown entity turned to her. She held out a perfectly manicured hand and Alicia reluctantly accepted.

"Will, you're so rude to not introduce me to your _friend_. I'm Jessica. Will and I are high school sweethearts ... and you are?" The look of disgust on Jessica's face lit a fire in Alicia. She looked so smug; as though she had some sort of claim over Will; a claim that definitely did not belong to her.

"I'm Alicia, Will's girlfriend".

Wills Girlfriend. She said it. She outed them to his family because of her jealousy. The eyes of everyone in the room turned to her, including Will, who smirked at her before taking her hand again and raising it up to his mouth and placing a soft kiss on her fingers. The last set of eyes she took note of were smaller than everyone else's. The little girl stepped around Jessica, placing herself directly in front of Alicia. She looked up at her and smiled and she couldn't help but fall for this girl. She would be willing to bet that she already had everyone in the room wrapped around her little finger. She found herself crouching down to the same height as her.

"Hey there sweetie, you must be Lily. I've heard an awful lot about you off your uncle Will here".

The little girl beamed up at her uncle before returning her gaze and smile to Alicia.

"Do you want to come and see my tent?"

"Lil, I'm sure Alicia doesn't want to climb in to your tent. She's here to visit with the adult's honey". Alicia watched and had to stifle a laugh as the little girl turned to throw an angry glare at her mother. Turning back to Alicia – her eyes full of sorrow – she opened her mouth to speak again;

"You don't like tents?"

Alicia's resolve was broken. She understood exactly how Will was so besotted with this little girl.

"Actually, if it's alright with all the adults. I would _love_ to come and see your tent. I bet its real pretty huh?"

Lily practically squealed. Taking Alicia's hand in hers she dragged her out of the room - almost immediately - toward the large garden. Before she was pulled out of the back door, she turned to Will who threw her a cheeky wink. She couldn't help but laugh as she left Will to deal with the awkwardness that was in front of him.

Will

She was phenomenal. Lily was practically swooning over her, she'd taken his ex down a notch and even his sisters were lost for words. He would never be surprised at how fascinating and brilliant Alicia was. He glanced over at his mom on the couch who he was shocked to see was in fits of quiet laughter, and he had to resist the temptation to do the same.

After an awkward and uncomfortable conversation with Jessica, she was headed towards the door. Before leaving she slipped Will her number on a card and winked. Before Alicia, he would have called. He knows he would have. But now he knows he doesn't need to settle for women like Jessica, not when he can go home to the most beautiful, intelligent and challenging woman he had ever known. Sighing, he threw the card into the bin and walked back to his family, to find them all sniggering. He knew he should be mad at them, but couldn't stop himself from laughing along. As he followed Sara's gaze, his eyes fell on Alicia laughing outside with his niece. He realises this is how she would have been when her children were young. He often imagines what it would have been like if it were him instead of Peter that she had raised children with. Baseball games on the weekend, trips to lakes and beaches, family holidays, bath times; he would have cherished it all. He always knew Alicia was a fantastic mother, but seeing her interact so easily with his niece made his heart glow.

"Will it's sickening how in love with that woman you are".

"You know what Sara, you're right. Anyway, whose ridiculous idea was it for you to bring Jess here?" He eyed the three women in front of him, neither willing to tell on the other. He turned to his mother, knowing that eventually she would break.

"Oh William don't over react. The girls bumped in to her at the shop. How were they supposed to know you already had a beautiful and charming woman bringing home with you? Have you been hiding her from me?"

"It's Alicia mom, from Georgetown".

The look of understanding on her face was immediate as he knew it would be. Every time he would visit from school, his stories would revolve around her; something funny she had said, how intelligent she was, how she made him better. She smiled at him.

"It's about time".

That was all that was said and all that needed to be said.

They opted to skip the Georgetown game – Alicia's idea - and continued their lunch with his family instead. He loved the way she so effortlessly fitted in with the most important people in his life; as if they were already part of her family. He was in absolute awe. She held her own against his sisters; which isn't an easy thing to do. She told them all embarrassing stories about him from Georgetown, talked about baking with his mother, kept Lily smiling and laughing with ease and won over his impossible sisters like it was nothing. When it was time for them to leave he laughed as Lily's screams and protests came immediately. She cried as she hung on to Alicia, much to the amusement of everyone in the room. He watched as Alicia handled it with ease.

"Sweetie, don't cry. I promise you soon Uncle Will and I will have you come to stay with us for a bit to give your mommy a break". She paused to wink at Sara before continuing, "And we'll play lots of games, go to the park and eat a lot of ice cream".

He watched as Lily stopped crying as quickly as she had started and wrapped her arms around Alicia announcing proudly that she was her new best friend causing everyone to laugh. As he was hugging his sisters goodbye, he noticed his mom having a quiet conversation with Alicia. She almost looked as though she was going to cry. He felt his mouth open in shock as he watched Alicia wrap her arms around his mother – knowing that she only ever hugs the people she's closest too; mainly him and her children. He never had any doubts that she would win over his family. She always had something about her, but he had never expected that it would be this instantaneous.

They were quiet on the ride back to their hotel but he couldn't help but notice her smiling to herself.

"What exactly did my mother say to you to make you that happy?"

She smirked, and looked at him slowly. "I do not know what you're talking about Mr Gardner" and to stop further questions she placed a kiss on his lips; managing to distract him until their arrival.

When they got in to their room, realising how little time they had she told him she was getting straight in the shower. He led on the bed, closed his eyes and listened as he heard the water turn on. He considered more than once getting off the bed and climbing in to the shower behind her, but decided against it. He knew if he did that, they would never get out of the room that night.

Not too long after, he heard her turn the shower off and the bathroom door open - alerting him that she was now in the room. He kept his eyes closed. He heard her searching through her suitcase obviously looking for her outfit for that night. And then it went quiet.

"Nice shower?"

"Mmmmm".

Her answer did something to him that he didn't expect. He opened his eyes slowly to look at her and he stopped breathing. She stood with her one leg hitched up on a chair, slowly and purposely rolling a stocking up her leg. Before switching legs, she turned to him and smirked knowingly. She started slowing rolling up the other stocking as he took in her attire; black lace. She knew exactly what she was doing and it was killing him.

"Leesh..."

She turned and smirked at him again. But it was different, it was full of desire. He knew she wanted him as much as he wanted her. Pure unadulterated passion clouded his mind as she walked over to him. It was impossible not to see the lust in her eyes. She climbed up his body, letting her fingers trace along the visible skin of his arms taking his t-shirt up over his head with her. She placed soft yet sensual kisses over his chest and abdomen before reaching down and removing his jeans. He watched her, he wanted her and he needed her. He pulled her in for a deep kiss, only breaking when they both needed air. Every moment was eager and needy but not rushed. It was slow and full of desire. She looked up at him through her thick eyelashes;

"I need you will".

As they lay in each other's arms an hour or so later, naked with their limbs still entwined, neither had the desire to move.

"Why did we ever stop doing that?"

She laughed and he felt it vibrate against his chest before kissing him again through her laughter.

A while later, they were fashionably late and making their entrance at the reunion. He watched as numerous people turned their attention to Alicia. He wasn't surprised; she was breathtaking. The royal blue colour of her dress elevated her porcelain skin. It was strapless, it hugged her curves perfectly and the back was completely bare. She was beautiful; but of course he always thought that was the case, even when she was wearing sweats and a hoodie.

They made polite conversation with most people in attendance. He laughed when he saw Alicia make a face as one of his exes pulled him in to a hug. He made up for it when he made a remark about his "girlfriend making them late" motioning towards Alicia and getting an insincere smile from the woman in front of them. The crowd went quiet as one of their old class mates took the stage, making a short and snappy speech before a photo montage started playing. Will, being the social butterfly and playboy of Georgetown, was in numerous photos; many of them making people laugh. Action shots of cannonballs at orientation pulled the most laughs of the night. Will felt Alicia tighten her grip on his arm as a photo of them came up. It was after one of his baseball games. He had run up the stands and pulled her into a tight hug, smiling widely and that is the exact moment the photo had captured. He looked down at Alicia and kissed her softly before she whispered;

"Let's get out of here".

He followed her readily, expecting her to go straight to grab a cab, but she veered off in the direction of the baseball field instead. She grabbed his hands and pulled him toward the bleachers. He felt his heart skip a beat as she looked back at him, with a look filled with desire as she pulled him up the steps. She stopped suddenly and sat causing Will to stumble slightly.

"You know, I used to watch nearly all your games. You didn't always know I was here. I used to watch as you'd run up here afterwards and kiss whatever girl you were with that week". She smirked up at him, laughing slightly. "I used to get so jealous".

Will was listening intently, eager to know where this was going.

"And then one week, after you'd come back from visiting your mom, you ran to me and I didn't know why. But you just grabbed me and pulled me into a hug and I was so sure you were going to kiss me and then you didn't and I swear my heart nearly stopped".

She chuckled and looked up at him, clearly expecting an explanation but he couldn't find the words to speak; he didn't know she wanted that. They'd had discussions about them; what they were; what they were doing; were they friends or were they more? But they'd always played on the side of caution.

"Earlier, your mom told me that one time, when you went home to visit her you told her I was the one and that you were going to change for me. I knew straight away what weekend it was" She smiled up at him, a slight laugh playing at her lips, "she also thanked me, for finally letting you love me and for giving her the one thing she's wanted to see for a long time ... your happiness".

He didn't know what to say, so he kissed her instead. He poured all his feelings into it. Showing her – instead of telling her – everything she needed to know. She pulled away and rested her head against his for a while. He opened his eyes and stared straight back in to hers. He heard her sigh contentedly and turn to look off in to the night.

As he looked at her, staring off in to the distance, sat in the same spot he had seen her in many years before; he knew what he had to do. He grabbed her hand causing her to start slightly as he pulled her from her daydream and looked in to her eyes.

"You know I love you right Leesh?"

She eyed him suspiciously before answering, "Of course I do".

"It's always been you. Only you. I think subconsciously, I would choose women so different from you before because I didn't want to be reminded of you. I didn't want to be reminded that I couldn't have you. But I can now. I can have every birthday and every holiday. I can enjoy every happy moment with you and help you through every tough moment. I can watch your kid's graduate, fall in love, get married and give you grand children. I can hold you and comfort you and love you every day"

He paused and looked up at her and noticed a single tear run down her face. Without thinking he moved his hand up to wipe it away, leaving his palm resting on her face.

"Marry me."

**I'm so so sorry this update took so long, i've been crazy busy. I hope this chapter makes up for it! Thank you again for all the amazing reviews. They make me smile and laugh and again, i appreciate every single one!**


	11. The Georgetown Days

Georgetown 1991

It was scary. It was big. It was lonely. It was amazing. It was fascinating. It was inspiring. It was everything she had expected and much, much more. Going to Georgetown was exactly what she had needed. As she sat with her feet dangling in the pool, she watched the people around her. Who would be her competition? Who would be her friends? Who would be her enemies? It never once occurred to her that any of them would be the man she fell in love with. And not the type of love that starts and ends in college; but the type that is planted, grows and then blossoms in the span of your life.

Her roommate sat next to her - distracting her from her people watching - and handed her a drink.

"If we're going to get through this ridiculous night, we're going to have to be intoxicated".

Alicia laughed. She had to agree. She had never been a big drinker. Of course there had been times when she had drunk too much and had to be carried home, but only on special occasions. Alicia Cavanaugh was an over achiever. And over achievers did not waste valuable time getting drunk and partying. The orientation pool party however, was a necessity. So she took the drink off Beth, downed it in one and continued people watching whilst making remarks with her new – and only – Georgetown friend.

As she scanned the room, she noticed a guy removing his shirt and shamelessly, she let her gaze linger. It was the first time she had seen him. His physique was obviously impressive, but that's not what made her stare linger. He seemed so at ease with himself; not a care in the world. He was laughing loudly in a large group of people; clearly a popular guy already. She couldn't stop the scoff that came out of her mouth when she noticed the multiple girls fawning over him; the obvious types; the types that wore revealing clothes, too much makeup and had no tact.

"Are you checking out Will Gardner?"

She had been staring for so long that it had gained the attention of Beth, who was smirking at her knowingly.

"No. I'm ... who's Will Gardner?"

Beth laughed. "The guy you're staring at. Hot isn't he?"

"I hadn't noticed. I'm going to get more drinks".

With that she stood up and made her way to the make shift bar. As she waited, she let her mind wander. Will Gardner. He was the first guy she had taken notice of at Georgetown. She couldn't suppress the giggle at how obvious her staring had been. She rolled her eyes and shook her head at her own foolishness.

"You know, if I didn't know any better, I would have thought I had something that belonged to you".

"Excuse me?" She whipped her head around with her eyebrows furrowed to find Will Gardner smirking at her in all his glory.

"Well the way you were watching me, I assumed I must have had something of yours. Or maybe had something stuck to my face or something? "

She tried to stop the blush that she was certain was making its way across her cheeks. "I wasn't watching just you; I was watching the whole party". She turned her back to him and focused her attention on the drinks in front of her, trying to hide her embarrassment.

"I don't know whether to be hurt that I didn't have your undivided attention or glad that you're not stalking me".

She let out a laugh but didn't turn to look at him.

"I'm Will Gardner".

"I know". She heard him laugh at her and this time she allowed herself to turn around to face him, knowing she had just made a mistake. "I mean ... my friend told me".

"I'm sure she did. Do I get to know your name?"

"Alicia. Alicia Cavanaugh."

"Well Alicia Cavanaugh, it's been a pleasure. I'm going to back to the pool now. I assume I'll see you around". And with a wink he walked away.

Her head felt fuzzy. She definitely felt an attraction to this guy. She could sense the arrogance he eluded, but there was something about his confidence that was attractive. She made her way back to Beth, handed her a drink and lowered her feet back into the pool. She found herself scanning the area for Will. She found him taking a few steps back at the far end of the pool. As his head came up, their eyes locked. He threw a wink and a smirk her way before taking off and cannon-balling into the pool as the party erupted in to shouts and cheers.

The next few weeks passed in a blur. It was busy, it was hard work and she was already sleep deprived. She had seen Will Gardner on multiple occasions; most of which he had greeted her with a nod, a salute or a "Cavanaugh". But they had never spoken more than that.

She made her way to class and was later than usual. She rushed in and took a seat towards the back, since her preferable seats (the front) were filled. The door swung open causing her to look up, and see Will making his entrance. He made eye contact with her immediately, smirked, and made his way toward the empty seat next to her, causing her to receive hateful looks from multiple girls in the room.

"Miss Cavanaugh in the back seats. You coming to the dark side?

She almost laughed. "I was late. Trust me, it won't happen again".

He did laugh this time, and loudly. "Funnily enough I can believe that. I seem to look at the back of your head a lot in classes".

She turned to the side and eyed him suspiciously. "Why do you watch the back of my head?"

He shrugged his shoulders and laughed, "Cos you're always in my eye line down there at the front and those big curls of yours make it hard to avoid you".

She laughed and went to reply as the lecturer made his entrance, causing her to stop. She caught the looks he threw her way during the course of the class, mainly after she had answered a question, gaining debate from other students to which she never backing down; never letting anyone beat her. After winning a particularly heated debate, she felt a nudge in her arm and watched as Will pushed a piece of paper her way.

_Coffee after class?_

She rolled her eyes and turned to look at him, raising her eyebrows as he cocked his head in reply. Looking back at the paper, she wrote her reply.

_I'm not sleeping with you._

She watched as he tried to stifle a laugh whilst writing his reply.

_Since when does coffee mean sex? C'mon, I'm buying._

She continued looking forward as she thought about it and then turned to look at him smiling at her. She mouthed "fine" at him, before turning her attention back to the class.

They laughed a lot. They were different but similar in so many ways. Both had insufferable siblings that they loved whole heartedly. Both had a strong love of coffee. Both graduated top of their classes from their colleges. She couldn't deny that she was enjoying their time together. Time passed at a fast pace. They started walking back to campus as she turned to him, ready to comment on the one thing she had been avoided all afternoon.

"So, you and the women..."

He looked at her and laughed.

"What about me and the women?"

"There are a lot of them".

He laughed again and she watched as he sighed, stopped walking and looked at her. "I can't deny enjoying a night with a woman now and again. But then again, find me a man who can right?"

She nodded and laughed as they continued walking.

"So you've been continuing your stalker ways since the pool party huh?"

"No. Not on purpose". They both laughed and the air between them lifted. What could have been an awkward conversation was actually extremely comfortable. She found herself feeling at ease with him immediately; telling him things about her life that very few people knew.

"I think we should partner up. For mock trial I mean. We'd definitely win".

He looked at her and smiled. "Alicia Cavanaugh that is a fantastic idea. Your place, tomorrow. We'll start immediately".

She had to laugh at his enthusiasm. He was nothing like what she had expected. She couldn't deny the attraction she felt toward him. He was easy going, funny and charming. She had only spent one afternoon with him so far, but was already bouncing in anticipation for the next day.

Will Gardner.

She started to think that this was not a name she would soon forget.

6 months later, she watched him as he made himself at home in her place; as he always did. She smiled to herself as she watched him kick off his shoes and walk out to the kitchen to grab snacks for their session. He came back out with his arms full, overflowing with junk food, beer and cans of fizzy drinks.

"Are you serious Will? If we eat all that we're gunna crash after an hour like last time".

"Cmon Leesh, you know I need my sugar fix".

"Fine. But don't scoff all of the popcorn this time. I like that too". She watched as he seemed to consider this with a fake pout on his face.

"Deal, as long as you don't touch the Oreos. I _will _tackle you to the ground if you do".

She rolled her eyes at him and laughed. She loved the easy friendship that had grown between them in the last few months. They argued, they laughed, they flirted and she watched as he wooed every girl on campus. She couldn't deny that she had thought what it would feel like to be with him. She'd heard the girls talking about him, comparing notes; but neither one of them had ever made the step that would push them over board. She often felt chills as they were close or wanted to hold on longer as they hugged. She sometimes zoned out as she watched his hands as he completed some menial task; wondering what it would be like to feel them on her body. As she was zoned out with thoughts of him she reached over for a snack, popping it straight in to her mouth.

Next thing she knew, she was being thrown back in to the carpet. The shock of it caused her to close her eyes, but when she opened them, she was face to face with Will.

"What did I tell you Leesh? No Oreos. We had a deal".

She looked up at him, dumbstruck, as he remained on top of her; straddling her at the waist with his hands on the carpet, either side of her head. It was as if her day dreams were coming to life. He had a wicked look on his face as he reached down and snatched the Oreo from her mouth. Her breathing hitched and she knew he would have had to have been completely oblivious to her to have missed it. He cocked his head at her and raised an eyebrow.

"No response? There's a first time for everything I suppose". She watched him as he leaned back and took another Oreo from the pack. He held it in front of her face. She remained silent.

"Open".

She opened her mouth quickly, and he plopped the cookie in with a wide grin on his face, still remaining in their position on the carpet.

"Now that is the only one you can have. Take another and I will not be responsible for what happens". He leaned forward and whispered in her ear "You've been warned". It was the most erotic thing she had ever experienced. She felt his breath on her neck and had to try harder than she ever imagined stifling the moan that threatened to escape her lips. As he backed off her she couldn't help but feel disappointed at the loss of his body on hers. She remained in her position on the carpet for a short while after he moved, trying to get her breathing back to a regular pace.

As she sat up, she took note of the wide grin on his face; but didn't ignore the fact that he had moved a pillow on to his lap. She allowed herself a small smile at the fact that she wasn't the only one affected by the previous situation.

"So Leesh, shall we get to it? Contract Law I mean".

She nodded slowly, and bit her lip. Quickly letting it go and getting to the task ahead of her. They carried on as normal as if the "event" hadn't taken place. She felt her eyes land on him a lot more than usual even though she was trying her best not to think about how it felt to feel his body above hers.

It was the summer following her first year at Georgetown that she met Peter. She was instantly drawn to his confidence, his power and has determination. He was already a lawyer, working at a formidable firm in Chicago, where coincidently she had been completing an internship. He was charming and wooed her in no time. So when it came time for her return to Georgetown, she knew her head should have been filled with thoughts of him, but instead all she could think about was Will.

They had hardly spoken all summer; just a few phone calls here and there. She missed him; probably more than she should. The original plan was that he would pick her up from the airport, but that morning he had rang to cancel. Alicia rolled her eyes as she listened to his excuses, knowing that in reality, he was probably just dealing with his latest hook-up. So instead, she planned to surprise him at the welcome back baseball game.

As she sat in the stands, watching him, she couldn't stop the smile that spread across her face. He looked good. She was surprised that even now – with her being in a relationship – she still felt the familiar feelings she always encountered when just simply looking his way. She felt guilty as Peter crossed her mind. Peter. How would she tell Will about him? Sure they had never been more than friends, but she had always hoped they would be. So as she watched him, all she could think about was how she would tell him. However, when the game finished and she watched as Will made his way up the stands towards the blonde who was grinning from ear to ear at him she no longer worried about telling him. Will wouldn't care. He obviously never had. She made her way down the stands, not looking back in his direction and quickly made her way back to her apartment.

The next day, she arrived to class early; as usual. 10 minutes later, Will walked in, and beamed at her as soon as he saw her before taking his usual seat at her side.

"Leesh! I've missed you. Where were you yesterday? I called?"

"Oh sorry, Peter was helping me get settled in and then we went to grab food before he headed back to Chicago". The lie was out of her mouth before she really thought it through. She was mentally kicking herself. She was mad at him for not acknowledging her, and he didn't even know she was there to be acknowledged. It only struck her the moment after the lie how irrational she was being. He had never led her to believe that he felt anything for her; she had a boyfriend and he was free to see whichever girl he wanted.

She glanced in his direction and noticed his eyebrows pulled together in confusion.

"Peter?"

"Yeah. He's my boyfriend". She glanced at him and watched his eyebrows fall. She almost regretted telling him when she realised that he almost looked sad. That is until he smiled at her.

"Wow. A boyfriend! Congrats Cavanaugh".

The loudest silence followed as her mind spun, and she assumed his was doing the same.

"I thought I'd have seen you at the game yesterday, now I know why I didn't see you".

And now she was mad again. Mad because she was there and he didn't notice her. He never did. He was always too busy noticing every other female with a pulse. And in that moment she knew she had made the right decision being with Peter. He noticed her. Her and Will would always be friends, but right now, it was hard to ever see it being more than that.

"Yup".

The silence continued for the rest of the class.

She'd been here before. In this exact spot. It always ended the same way; with her watching on as Will ran to his woman of the week. A lot of the time, he wasn't aware of her presence since she opted to sit off to the side without drawing attention to herself. Even now, with her being with Peter and not being as close with Will as she once was, she still wanted him to go to her; just once. She wanted to know what it would feel like. She loved Peter and she knew she would be happy with him, but Will was different. Will was supportive, caring and loving. As much as he tried to hide it, she knew there was a whole other side of him. A side that wanted a life, love and family.

She watched as the team made their way to the field and she found Will immediately. He looked like he didn't have a care in the world. There was no stress upon his shoulders, no school work weighing him down; no girlfriend drama. She watched as he made his way to the pitchers mount. She always loved watching him pitch. She noticed him scanning the crowd and assumed he was trying to seek out the woman of the week, until he made eye contact with her. His smile was so big, and so immediate, that she almost felt as though her heart had stopped. He waved; she waved back and he turned his attention back to the game.

As she watched him, it was hard not to notice the small glances that kept coming her way. She put her head down, smiling to herself. It was then that it occurred to her that he was different. She hadn't noticed him with any girls that week. Anyone who knew Will knew that was a rarity. He'd spent a lot of time with her, turning down hanging with the girls or going for drinks in favour of studying whilst asking more and more questions about her relationship with Peter. They spent a lot of time together as it was, but something was different about it now. He'd been at his mother's house the weekend before, so she assumed he had just realised that he needed to get his head down and get his work done. That was until she noticed him look up to her again.

The game continued in the same way; with him throwing her looks and her seeking them eagerly. She knew it was probably wrong. She knew Peter wouldn't approve. But that didn't stop the blush on her cheeks every time he smirked at her. It didn't stop the way her heartbeat faltered every time they held eye contact. It didn't stop the clench in her stomach every time his muscles grew as he pitched.

The game finished and they had won. Although she hadn't seen him with any girls that week, she still assumed there would be one waiting for him eagerly in the crowd. She let her gaze wander over the crowd looking for the one she assumed it would be. There were a few possibilities and she hated herself for feeling jealous.

Her eye landed on him as his landed on her. His smile grew wider immediately and she felt as though her stomach was in her throat as she watched him start to make his way toward her. He called her name as he made his way through the crowd and up the stands and landed in front of her; pulling her into his arms. He held her tightly and she couldn't contain how good it felt. She should feel wrong that it felt so good in another man's arms, but she just felt overwhelmed. It felt so right.

He pulled away from the hug but let his hands go to hers. He looked her in the eye and flashed his winning smile. Moving his lips next to her ears he whispered;

"That win was for you Leesh. Only you".

Now

"Yes".

**This has taken longer than I would have liked, but I've been full up with the flu and it's so hard to write feelings when you're sniffing and sneezing constantly haha! Hope you've enjoyed it though and didn't mind that it was all in Alicia's POV! And thank you again for the reviews – some of which have made me laugh till I cried. **


	12. The Baby

**AN – Sorry.**

Will

As he woke up in Alicia's apartment – as he did most mornings – he didn't hesitate to stop the smile spreading across his face. He looked to his left and saw Alicia lying on her back, arms above her head, hair across the pillow, looking more beautiful than the day before. More often than not, he had to remind himself that this was his life now; waking up to Alicia; being with her; living. There was no denying that he had some spectacular moments in his life. He'd had plenty of women, he had money in the bank, he had a law firm, a family; but nothing compared to this. Nothing compared to simply living life now that Alicia was his. Holding her hand as they shopped brought him more joy than his team winning a game. Hearing her laugh made his heart beat with joy. Hearing her voice when she woke up in the morning – slightly raspier and deeper than usual – made him thank his lucky stars that he finally got to spend his life with this spectacular woman.

It had been the most hectic and amazing 6 months of his life. Since the moment Alicia said yes, his life truly started to begin. Before that moment, he hadn't realised that he had been living on autopilot; waiting for life to hand him things and it was finally time to take charge.

_He could tell she wasn't expecting it. Her eyes grew wide, but she didn't look away from him for a second. He felt his heart beat speed up, his palms were sweating. What if she said no? What would he do if she did? Would they break up? He allowed his eyes to catch her again and felt a tide of relief strike him as he saw her lips slide into a small smile. "Yes". His world stopped. That one little inconsequential word had changed his life forever. He wrapped his arms around her tightly knowing this is where he would be for the rest of his life. They sat hand in hand on the bleachers until the early hours of the morning; neither feeling tired; both feeling more awake than they had in a long time._

He was pulled from his reverie by a knocking at the door and shouts of "Let me in". Knowing who it was, he chuckled to himself and nudged Alicia. He laughed as she opened one eye, reluctant to wake.

"He's here Leesh".

"No. No. Not today. I'm staying right here. And so are you and we're going to eat pancakes and snuggle."

His heart melted. She never was a morning person. She was irresistible. Pouting like a child who had just been told "no" to going for ice cream.

"Snuggle? Are you 5?" The chants continued at the door. "Leesh, you know he's going to carry on, he's the most persistent person I've ever met."

He laughed as she groaned, throwing the covers back and climbing clumsily out of bed. She started toward the door, but paused before reaching it. He watched as she slowly turned back to him and smiled before creeping back over to him, crawling toward him on the bed and planting a soft kiss on his lips.

"Good morning."

And with that, she sprung from the bed – suddenly more awake than just seconds ago – and made her way to the door; leaving Will in bed with a huge grin on his face.

The wedding was only a few days away and everything was hectic; except for them. They were calm. For the first time in both of their lives they had no issues, no drama and no troubles. They had each other and everything seemed to finally click in to place. He may have had his own issues – that would be dealt with accordingly – but together as an item, they were finally in sync. He could hear voices echoing in from the corridor and knew he only had a matter of seconds before Owen bounded in and declared that once again, he was taking over the apartment for wedding purposes.

"Hello big brother. The dining room is mine today. You can have anywhere else. Also, for lunch I'd be cool with Pizza or maybe Thai. You can decide lover boy." With that, he walked from the room.

Will moved his attention to Alicia who was rolling her eyes at Owen and laughing. It still amazed Will how even the smallest of actions from her, could turn his day around.

"So we shouldn't be long today, I've just got to sort out menus and all of that mundane stuff." She looked over at him and crawled over to him again, this time trailing her fingers along his body before her lips landed on his."But how about when I'm done, we have pancakes, and lay in bed and"

Will cut in impatiently "Snuggle?"

"Well I was going to say have lots and lots of sex, but if you want snuggles, I can do that". She climbed off him, winked and laughed.

"Well you know how I love my snuggles. But you're plan does sound better than mine. I've gotta go out, probably only for an hour but I'll be climbing straight back in to bed when I'm done."

"Well ... hurry back, you can only keep a girl waiting so long before she gives up." She smirked and winked again before making her way out of the room.

Will shook his head and lay back in bed, laughing and smiling to himself.

He knew there would never be anyone that would compare to Alicia. No other woman could make all of his senses come to life with a single touch. No other woman could make him laugh effortlessly. No other woman could make his life as whole as she made it.

This was it.

Alicia was end game.

Alicia

Considering it was the night before the wedding, everything was extraordinarily calm ... except for Owen. He had opted to stay with the women for the bachelorette party instead of going out with the "macho men" as he had described them. Of course now, he was outraged as Alicia had opted to have everyone to her place instead of going out. Her rationale was that it was her second wedding. She'd already done the big night out, the big wedding – and the big hangover. This time, she didn't need all that. She left him ranting in the living room and made her way to find Will.

She stood in the doorway of her bedroom watching Will packing things and getting ready with a smile on her face. In 24 hours she would be married. Mrs instead of miss; Gardner instead of Cavanaugh; married instead of single. Life was going to change. Not drastically but significantly. And if her life was going to change, she couldn't be happier about the fact that it was going to change with Will next to her. A smile fell effortlessly over her face as she thought about spending the rest of her life as Mrs Gardner.

"What are you thinking about?"

"You. What else? I'm going to miss you tonight."

"Tell me about it. It's our first night apart in months. But it's worth it since tomorrow we'll probably be cutting our cake at this time."

She couldn't help but laugh at Will standing in front of her with a goofy grin on his face. It wasn't her first time at the rodeo. She'd done all this before, and sometimes she forgot that for Will, this was something completely new. A few years ago Will would have laughed in the face of marriage.

"I gotta go, mom's waiting for me. But I'll call you later, have an amazing night, and I'll see you tomorrow my love."

As he made his way out, she shouted, "I'll be the one in the white dress." Getting a loud laugh from Will as a response.

She didn't have too much to do to prepare for the night, Owen and Grace pretty much had that covered. All she had to do was make a run to the store. Looking at the clock, she figured now was probably the perfect time. So picking up her keys, she set off.

As she walked down the aisle feeling overly content with her life, she suddenly felt nervous. She loved Will; truly, with everything she had. But she had once thought the same about Peter. Peter was supposed to be her lifetime love and he broke her. And then she thought of Will; rushing in to save her. Putting her back together piece by piece until she was whole again and ready to love him like she should have 20 years ago. As she stood in the aisle thinking about all the ways Will had saved her, a baby screamed somewhere in the shop; making her think of her children. Making her think how Will would never have his own children. Then she smiled, thinking about how truly amazing he had been to both of hers.

She stood smiling to herself until she realised she probably looked ridiculous. Shaking herself out of it she turned to carry on scanning the aisles to complete her list. And that's when it happened. That's when her stomach turned and she almost passed out. That's when she was sure everything was going to change again; just like it had so many times before.

Tammy.

Tammy and a very young and screaming baby.

As she stood in a daze, unable to move she felt her breathing increase and her hands start to sweat. She had to get out but she couldn't move. In a sudden burst of adrenaline, she threw the basket onto a shelf and got out of the store as fast as she could. She climbed into the car, put her head on the steering wheel and cried.

The journey home was a blur. She was unsure how she got there. As she went to open the door she could already hear Owen on the other side shouting about something. Compared to what was on her mind, it was probably nothing.

"Alicia! Where the hell have you been? Have you heard this playlist your daughters made? It's ridiculous".

She walked straight past him - ignoring his questions – and went straight to her room, slamming the door behind her. She climbed onto her bed, rested her head against the head board and pulled her knees up to her body. She knew she only had a matter of seconds before Owen came after her. What was she going to say? Should she tell him? Does Will know? Then she shook her head, realising that if Will knew, he would have told her. If he doesn't know should she tell Will? Should she wait until after the wedding? Her mind was well and truly spinning.

"Big sis, what are you doing? There's so much to do and so little time!"

He continued to talk as she sat staring straight ahead, ignoring everything he said. She felt him climb next to her on the bed, taking her hand in his.

"Leesh? You okay? Having second thoughts?" she continued to ignore him. "It's okay if you are. You'll get over it. As soon as he gives you one of his sultry looks, you'll know you want to marry him."

"Tammy has a baby." She turned briefly to gage his reaction; he seemed confused but not overly concerned.

"Okay?"

"It was a very new baby Owen. I've only been with Will for 7 months and we got together straight after their break up. You're the mathematician here ... do the math."

"Shit."

"Yeah."

She's not sure how long, but for a while they both sat staring ahead whilst saying nothing. The silence was deafening.

"Is it selfish of me to want to tell him after the wedding?"

She watched as he looked at her through narrowed eyes. She knew it was wrong, she just needed to hear it come from someone else.

"And then what happens? You wait till after the honeymoon? And then till after the honeymoon period? And then one day he bumps into her on the street with his kid?"

"I don't know what to do Owen."

She groaned loudly and threw her hand over her face as she heard a knock at the door indicating her first guest's arrival. Owen gave her a pitying look. "You've gotta get up, and carry on. You can worry about this later. Right now we're going to drink and have fun and forget all about exes and babies". She nodded and pushed Owen off the bed, sending him to open the door whilst she got herself changed. She sent Will a quick text saying "need to talk" and leaving her phone on her bed, she walked into the living room ready for her evening. Owen had already left for the store since she had returned empty handed and she tried to put on a brave face.

She was going to have a good time. Tomorrow she was marrying the man that she _should_ have married a long time ago. If everything was going to fall apart; it could fall apart later when she was exceptionally drunk ... which happened a lot sooner than she anticipated.

The night went from 0-100 pretty fast. Owen had returned from the shop with no snacks, but plenty of alcohol; in typical Owen fashion. Even the always elegant Diane had consumed an exuberant amount and was practically dancing on the ceiling. Alicia found herself slowly forgetting the disastrous day she had and actually enjoying her night. Will's sisters were both there, both intoxicated and both hilarious. Robyn was drunk before she arrived. Veronica was her usual self and Grace watched on in shame as the adults in her life spiralled out of control.

A few hours later, she was wearing a wedding dress made of toilet roll and modelling it on her coffee table; much to the embarrassment of her daughter. It was Robyn's idea, and Alicia was already too drunk to disapprove. She kept the dress on for the remainder of the night. She slipped in and out of her room a few times to check her phone, seeing a missed call from Will, she shrugged her shoulders – too drunk to deal with it - and went back to her guests.

By 1am, the women were starting to disperse. Grace had gone to bed an hour or so ago. Owen was passed out on the sofa; one leg on and one leg off. The apartment was a mess, but Will's mother had already said she'd come over early the next morning to straighten everything out for her before she woke, so Alicia decided this was her queue to go to bed.

As she made her way out of her living room, she spotted Kalinda pouring one last shot in the kitchen. The past 6 months had been a cooling down period for the both of them. They were no longer hostile. Alicia was no longer angry and Kalinda no longer cared. She lifted her _artistic_ dress, bowed dramatically and made her way to the bedroom, making Kalinda splutter a laugh and raise her shot; taking it in one before walking toward the door. She laughed to herself as she went; probably louder than necessary and Alicia smiled to herself at their rekindled relationship.

_As she sat at the bar, drowning her sorrows after losing a big case for an important client, she heard the stool next to her drag across the floor. _

"_2 bourbons please."_

_Alicia turned her head to her right and smirked, "what Lockhart/Gardner tradition is this?"_

_Kalinda laughed, "First hugely public and embarrassing loss?"_

_Alicia placed a hand over her heart and faked pain; "Ouch", causing both women to laugh, raise their glasses and drink. An hour later barriers were down, bridges were crossed and all hostility was thrown out of the window. _

Alicia smiled to herself at the memory as she stumbled into her room and flung herself on to her bed, laughing and trying to swat stray pieces of her toilet paper dress out of her face. It hit her fast; nausea. She ran as fast as her feet would carry her into the bathroom as she threw up a nights worth of tequila. Feeling sorry for herself, she leant to the side and let her cheek lie against the cold material of her bathtub. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply. When she finally felt the nausea pass, she sighed deeply and opened her eyes, jumping erratically as she spotted Will – unexpectedly – leaning against the doorframe.

"So I think we need to talk."

Will

His night had been surprisingly low key. He limited his drinks and tried to remain as calm as possible. The following day, he was marrying the love of his life and he wanted to do that without feeling the effects of the night before.

As he sipped on bourbon whilst talking with one of the guys next to him, his phone buzzed with a message from Alicia "Need to talk". His mind spun. Was she having second thoughts? He immediately rang her back, to no avail. He tried not to dwell on it, coming to the conclusion that if it were serious, she would have been waiting by the phone. It wasn't until a few hours later when he got the voicemail that he felt his world crumble. He could tell from her voice that she was obviously extremely drunk; but that didn't make what she was saying any less true. His face paled and he ran to the bathroom; unable to keep down the little alcohol he had consumed that night. He paid his tab, mumbled apologies to the guys, and ran from the pub; pausing on the sidewalk to take a deep breath. He played the voicemail again;

"Hi hubby. I've ... I maybe have had 1 or 2 tequila shots. Juuuuust 1 or 2. Did i mention I saw Tammy today? OWEN GO AWAY! What was I saying ... oh, yes, Tammy, I saw her. In the shop, she was buying things. She had a baby. A verryyyy little baby. She was probably buying very little baby things. So, you're a dad ... that's nice ... for you. Anyway ... I'm going to have 1 or 2 more shots now. See you tomorrow husband".

And just like that, he knew that his dream day; the day he would finally marry Alicia; probably wouldn't happen.

As he held eye contact with his fiancé, who had clearly had too much to drink, he felt his heart stop. She looked at him with a sadness that he had never seen. She looked as though she were fighting an inner battle, trying to find a way to broach such a complicated topic.

"I got your voice mail." He watched as her face went from confused, to shocked and it was then that he realised she had no recollection of sending the message until he had mentioned it.

"Will I ... I'm so sorry. I didn't want to tell you that way. I know it must have been a shock to hear something like that on a message, but Will I ... you're a dad."

He knew he had to tell her. She looked defeated. She looked as though it was all too much.

"Alicia I know."

"You know? What? You mean from the message I sent you?"

He took a deep breath and shook his head. "Actually, I've known for a month. I've been visiting her."

He moved his eye line from the floor to her face. He felt his heart rip in two as he saw the pain written all over her face. It was then the he knew she had realised he'd been keeping this from her. It was then that he realised the day he had been dreaming of since Georgetown, was a long shot. She closed her eyes as a single tear fell down her cheek; shaking her head in defeat.

"Get out".

**AN – Okay, I know; I'm sorry. But I couldn't let them just ride off in to the sunset with an easy happy ever after. Nothing about Will and Alicia's journey screams happy ending! I promise it WILL resolve itself in the next chapter ... but it wouldn't be right to not have a little bit of a bump in the road. Hope you're not too mad at me hahaha! Sorry if there's errors in this, I wrote it pretty quickly today! Till next time **


	13. The Pre-Wedding Drama

Alicia

"_Get out."_

She couldn't look up at him. She felt like she needed to hide the hurt that would be written all over her face; she had to hide her vulnerability. He had a baby. He had a baby and knew about her for a whole month; a whole month of keeping this huge lie from her; when would it end? How she really got hired at LG, his grand jury indictment, his investigation into Peter and now this.

"No."

The mono syllabic answer brought her crashing down to earth. No? He was saying no? He wasn't leaving? She sighed. In all honesty, she wanted anything but his leaving. She just didn't know how to process what was going on in her mind. Before she could form an answer, he continued to speak. He seemed hesitant, but he continued.

"When she told me, I was elated. Scared, but elated. But then it hit me, how did I know this baby was even mine? I mean sure we were together but as far as I was concerned we were always safe ... I didn't want to drag you into my mess, especially if it turned out she wasn't mine."

She got it, she did. She understood his need to want to protect her from it. It's exactly how she felt when she found out; not wanting to tell him yet not wanting to hurt him. But that's not how marriage works. It's probably why her last marriage was so awful. They stopped talking. They didn't communicate. Then they started communicating with other people.

"Will this isn't how it works ... this isn't how _marriage_ works. You can't keep stuff like this from me. This doesn't just effect you Will ... we're supposed to be getting married."

"Supposed to be?"

She looked at his face and it looked as though that one word had destroyed him. She watched as he moved hesitantly toward her and lifted a hand to her face, wiping a stray tear from her cheek. She hadn't even realised she was crying.

"I ... I just don't know Will."

"Alicia, I love you. Yes I made a mistake; chances are I'm going to make a lot of them. I just didn't know what to do."

"You talk to me Will!" She didn't realise until after she had said it that it had come out a lot louder than she had meant it to. "You don't sneak around hiding part of your life from me! That's exactly what Peter did, and I can't go through that again!"

She felt the tears falling faster down her face and it almost broke her to pieces as she looked at Will and saw him just as wrecked as she was.

"Leesh, I just ... I wanted to make sure she was mine before I made her ours. Before I really became a dad; before I let you become a stepmom. I didn't want us _both_ to be attached to someone who would be pulled away."

"You just don't get it do you?"

"Then explain it to me..."

She took a deep breath, trying to form the right words in her head; words that would make him see that she loves him, but can't have another one sided relationship. Words that would make him see that she would love his child like she were her own. Words.

"We're in this together Will. You hurt, I hurt. You're happy, I'm happy. We've got to do this together or it'll never work." She sighed loudly, allowing herself to look back in his direction. "I've felt so guilty because I knew that marrying me meant you could never have kids of your own. I know you'd make such a good dad Will." He looked like he wanted to reply, but she held a hand up, stopping him in his tracks. "When I saw Tammy with the baby, I was devastated; devastated that she was able to give you something I know I can't. I didn't want to tell you at first because I was so scared you'd leave me for her; to do the right thing by your child. But I couldn't stop thinking about you playing with your baby; seeing her first steps, hearing her say 'dada' for the first time. And then I thought about us sharing those moments and I was so happy. But knowing you kept it from me? I understand the reasons you explained Will, I do, but I can't help but feel like you didn't want me involved."

"That couldn't be any more off base Leesh. You're the best mother in the world. Do you really think that if I was going to go in to this I wouldn't want you by my side the whole time? This is all new to me, I'm an ass and I'm going to screw up sometimes, I just need you there to make sure I sort my shit out."

As she looked into his eyes, it was hard to ignore the sincerity that shone through; partly because she was still very drunk but mostly because she knew how genuine he was. She couldn't stop herself from flinging her arms around his neck. He chuckled softly and held her. After a short time, he pulled back slightly to allow her to look at him.

"Hi."

"Hi."

They both smiled; both knowing where this was going to end up. They had a lot to talk about and they had a lot to fix. But it was nothing that couldn't wait until after they were married. She laughed to herself as he picked her up off the bathroom floor and carried her into the bedroom.

"I really love this outfit you've got on here. You should wear this down the aisle."

She laughed louder than she expected and swatted his arm. They held eye contact for a short time, before she stretched up and kissed him. It was an apology, a means to an end; a quiet declaration of their love.

She felt his hands start to un-wrap tissue paper from her body. She couldn't contain the moan as his hand moved painfully slow across her skin. It was inevitable that they would end up here. His limbs entangled with hers; her hands roaming his body. Every touch was about more than a feeling. Every moan was about more than pleasure. Every kiss conveyed everything. This wasn't just sex. It really was making love.

As they both came down from their high, she turned to face him and smiled, sliding her hand into his. "Will you stay with me?" She felt ridiculous for asking. She never thought she would need anyone. But she did; she needed Will. Probably more than she would ever admit.

"Of course. Who cares about the rules? This groom will see his bride before the wedding. Who cares about bad luck?"

She smiled up at him and her mind suddenly flooded with questions. She wasn't sure if now was the right time to ask them, but she was too drunk to care.

"So, you said 'she' ... you have a daughter?"

Her heart melted as a dreamy look clouded his face; a look she had only seen a few times. The first when she said yes to his proposal. His face shifted abruptly as he looked back down at her with a loving stare.

"_We _have a daughter Leesh. Like you said, we're in this together. You're going to be as big a part of her life as I am. I'm really going to need you."

She stretched up to kiss him again and felt him smile against her lips.

"Her names Amelia. I've got into the habit I've calling her Mille though."

"How much have you seen her then?"

"Only a handful of times and not for long periods of time."

She noted the pout that took residence on his face. It was evident that he was already very taken with this little girl. It made her smile.

"Tell me about her."

As he spoke, she felt herself drifting off; his smooth voice sending her deeper into unconsciousness. In a few hours, she would be married; again. But this time, it was forever. She fell asleep with a smile on her face.

Will

He was woken up by the feel of sun hitting his face. As he took a deep breath, it dawned up him that in a few hours he would be married. Life may have thrown curveballs, but he'd hit them straight back. He was finally getting the woman he'd pined after for half of his life. It was definitely a good day. He could hear quiet movement flowing from the rest of the apartment and shallow breathing coming from the woman he had woken entangled with. No matter how many times he woke up next to her, she would always take his breath away. The contrast of her raven hair against the white sheets; her porcelain skin seeming almost unreal; the way she smiled slightly whilst dreaming ... It would never get old.

Leaving a soft hiss on her head, he untangled his limbs from hers, pulled on some boxers, put one of his t-shirts on the pillow for her to slip on when she woke and made his way into the apartment to find the source of the noise.

"UNCLE WILL!"

He rubbed his eyes and heard soft laughing as he squinted in the direction of the kitchen.

"Lilypad? What you doing here so early kid?"

When his eyes adjusted to the light in the room and he spotted his mom putting dishes away. He cocked his head at her questioningly as Lily hugged his legs.

"Is Leelee awake?"

His confused face moved from his mother to his niece.

"Who's Leelee?"

"Leesha silly. Is she awake?"

As soon as the words left her mouth he smiled. He loved how quickly Lily had taken to Alicia. He had no doubt she would love her, but just didn't expect it to happen so immediately. It seems he wasn't the only Gardner who fell for the Cavanaugh charms. He felt Lily pull on his boxers trying to get his attention back as he heard a loud groan echo out from the bedroom.

"Hey, I think she is awake. But how about you go in really quietly and give her lots of cuddles? I think she might have a sore head."

With that she took off to the bedroom without looking back; much to the amusement of Will and his mother. He shook his head as he walked to hug her.

"So what are you doing here?"

"I told Alicia I'd come over clean after the gathering. And then I saw the state on your sisters this morning and thought if they were that bad, the apartment must be awful. So I sent them for breakfast for us all and I came here to get things going. They should be here shortly. I'm glad I got here early ... there's tissue everywhere! What on earth happened here last night? And what are you doing here anyway?"

He laughed at the toilet paper comment, remembering the outfit he had found Alicia in the night before. Then sighed at the next question.

"I needed to talk to Alicia ... about Mills."He saw the shocked look on his mother face mixed with what he thought was relief.

"I'm so glad you told her Will. You could have picked a better time mind you. How did she take it?"

"Well, actually ... I didn't tell her. She saw Tammy and Millie at the store. She was angry and hurt. Really hurt, that I kept it from her you know? But we've talked it through. We're going to be okay."

He saw the disapproval clear as day all over his mothers face. As soon as he had told her about his situation, she had told him to tell Alicia straight away. He wishes he had. He was stupid to think Alicia wouldn't have stood by him.

"Well I'm glad the truths out and she's going to be with you through it all. But you're a fool Will. This isn't how I raised you. My son does not lie to the people he loves. That woman in there is the best thing that had ever happened to you. Don't do anything stupid again. Or I'll keep her and kick you out? Got it?"

He was shocked. But he knew how disappointed his mother was in how he was handling the situation and how much she hated him keeping this huge secret from Alicia. She laughed quietly and pulled him in for a hug. They both turned towards the bedroom as they heard laughs leaving the room and streaming down the hall like music. He laughed loudly as he took in Alicia's appearance – she had on his shirt and stray pieces of toilet paper were still attached to her body. She scowled at him – causing him to laugh louder - and walked to the tap to pour a glass of water.

"Leelee has a headache Uncle Will. You have to be extra nice to her."

"Well since I am marrying _Leelee _today, I think that can be arranged."

He walked over to her, standing behind her at the sink and wrapping his hands around her waist. He leant down slightly whispering "morning Mrs Gardner" in her hear before placing a soft kiss on her neck. He felt her shiver at the contact and chuckled smugly to himself. Before he could turn her around and kiss her properly, his sisters entered the apartment. And from the male voice that accompanied them, he guessed they weren't alone; he was right.

"Owen? Didn't you stay here last night?"

The confusion in Alicia's tone was clear. He saw his sisters throw a look at each other and burst out laughing. They obviously knew something everyone else didn't.

"Well ... I stayed here until I woke up dying for a drink and heard some x-rated noises coming from someone's bedroom. Before I could spew, I bolted."

Everyone in the room laughed except for Alicia who looked mortified and Lily who had no clue what was going on.

"You're lucky Grace could sleep through a bomb going off, because little sis, you are the equivalent to that."

"Oh. My. God. You did not have to share that story Owen!"

"And miss seeing your face turn as red as a tomato? Worth it! Everyone needs an embarrassing wedding day story. Maybe I should edit my speech..."

Will couldn't contain his guffaw when all of the colour drained from Alicia's face. Next thing he knew she dived around the kitchen island to attack her brother. This is what he had been missing all these years. Family. Moments like this. Moments that you would look back on years from now and laugh about. Alicia was still playfully punching her brother as everyone looked on in hysterics. He laughed again as Alicia called lily over to help her which lead to Owen receiving small kicks to the legs. He wasn't sure when, but at some point Grace had come into the room and was looking on amused.

"MERCY! I CALL MERCY!" Owen picked up Lily and smiled at her. "You're pretty tough for someone so teeny kid." Everyone laughed and Alicia sat on the floor wiping laughter tears from her face. She laughed even more when Grace walked over to her and pulled pieces of tissue out of her hair.

Will stood taking everything in. This was his life now. The craziness surrounding him in that moment; was his life. He could look forward to moments like it every day for the rest of his life. And soon, his daughter would be there too. She would be included in all these amazing moments. He sighed contentedly and looked at his watch. He knew he had to go but he just couldn't bear to pull himself away.

"Right, as entertaining as this has been, I've got quite a busy day, since I'm getting married, so I should get going." He kissed his mom, sisters and Lily bye, and waved to Owen and Grace before walking over to Alicia, taking both of her hands, pulling her up to her feet and leading her to the door. Before he really had a chance to comprehend what was going on, she was kissing him.

"I love you Will Gardner. And I am so excited to become your wife in a few hours."

Until Alicia came back in to his life, he hadn't thought of himself as an emotional guy. But right now he could feel tears threatening to fall down his cheeks. He tried to hold them in, and looked at Alicia with a smile on his face. She laughed at him.

"Oh you're such a cry baby Gardner." She reached up and wiped the escaped tear off his cheek. "I wish last night hadn't been so stressful for us, but it ended perfectly. I wish your daughter could be there today Will. I really do."

"Me too. But I'm just really glad you're going to be there. See you in a few hours wifey." With that, he kissed her again and made his way out the door.

Alicia

She walked back in to the kitchen smiling. But her mind was somewhere else. She was vaguely aware that someone handed her a bagel. She knew what she had to do.

"Kalinda."

Everyone in the room looked at her in confusion.

"I need Kalinda."

**AN – I'm going to put this out there now ... I'm not sure how much longer this fic is going to continue. I'm not sure where else it can go ... there's already been SO much drama! Never fear, I may still have a few tricks up my sleeves, but it may only fill 3/4 more chapters at the most. Don't all hate me too much! Hope you enjoyed this chapter ... the next one's the wedding. Wahoo!**


	14. The Wedding

Alicia

Less than an hour later, Kalinda had set off on her mission and Wills mother and Aubrey were leaving to get themselves ready. Sara opted to stay behind to help; which was a big relief to Alicia. Her mind spun. Her head ached. She needed time to herself to breathe and organise all the errant thoughts running amuck in her head.

As she led in the bath she smiled contentedly. Today was the day; this was it. No turning back now. Her mind wanders to hours before when in all honesty; she had considered calling the whole thing off. Will had a daughter and Will most definitely was not forgiven. In the light of a new day, there was no way she could repress the anger she still felt about his deception. She wanted more than anything for him to be happy; for him to have a whole life, a life with love from her and from his child. But she couldn't shake the feeling that there was going to be unrest somewhere down the line.

First of all; having Tammy be a constant in her life was something that was definitely not okay. There was obviously no avoiding it, but that didn't mean she was okay with it. Secondly; she still couldn't fully forgive him. Regardless of what she had said in their discussion - or even just an hour ago - she still felt betrayed. Betrayal always ran deep; especially when it wasn't the first time you were actually being betrayed. She can't fool herself into thinking that everything was okay, when it definitely was not. It didn't change the fact that she loved Will or that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him; it just caused a bump in the road ... a big bump.

But today it was just about them. It wasn't about the drama, it wasn't about her issues. All of that could wait for another day; a day when they weren't vowing to love each other for the rest of their lives.

Her phone buzzed on the edge of the bath tub – as it had been all morning – she picked it up assuming it was another good luck message. She pulled herself up straight when she saw it was from Kalinda. 2 words. 2 words that made her grin from ear to ear. _"It's done." _She sat smiling to herself, breathing in the aroma from the products in the bath tub, feeling pleased with the results of her morning. She was about to lie back down as her eyes rested on the time on her phone.

"SHIT".

She shot up from the bath resulting in the majority of surfaces in her bathroom getting soaked. She threw her head out of her bedroom door, looking eagerly for someone to blame, not seeing anyone, she opted to shout, assuming that someone would hear her.

"WHY DID NO BODY TELL ME THE TIME? 2 hours! I only have 2 hours to get ready for my wedding. Have you people _seen_ my hair? This is not a 2 hour job!"

She scowled as she heard laughs coming from further in the apartment but couldn't stop herself from chuckling as Grace, Lily and Sara all stepped into her view with heads full of rollers. They walked towards her, Grace and Sara discussing what they were going to take control of. It ended with Grace on hair and Sara on makeup, which Alicia was okay with as it meant she could close her eyes and try to chase away the hangover that still haunted her.

After an hour and a half that seemed to last a lifetime, all that was left was for her to step into her dress. She shooed her daughter and her future niece and sister-in-law out of her room as she stalked over to her expansive closet to pull her dress out of its spot. She held the bag tightly in her hands, closed her eyes and smiled. This was it. She was about to put her wedding dress on; the dress that she would vow to love Will Gardner forever in; the dress that symbolised her fresh start. She unzipped the dress and ran a finger slowly over the white fabric. She put on her red lace lingerie (Wills favourite on her) and slowly and carefully started to step into her dress.

It was her. It was as if it had been made especially for her body. It flowed down to the floor, skimming her curves perfectly and leaving a small train behind her. The front was cut into a V-shape, however the patch that should have been her skin, had been covered by delicate lace which was fitted down to her waist and covered the very top of her arms making a slight sleeve. The back of the dress was much the same, except for the V falling much lower on her back. It was simple, elegant and understated. The way Grace had pinned her hair back, leaving a few errant curls to frame her face, went perfectly with the dress. She picked up a light red lipstick, placing it onto her lips, finishing her preparations. She smiled to herself in the mirror. This was it. She took a deep breath, never removing her eyes from her image in the mirror in front of her.

"Mom just checking if you're ready cos I just spoke to Zach and he's there and ... WOW! Mom you're ... wow!"

She made eye contact with her daughter in the mirror and had to try hard to blink back the tears threatening to escape and mark her made up face.

"Mom you're beautiful. I want to hug you but I don't want to ruin any of this perfection so just try to imagine that I hugged you."

She laughed as she turned to her daughter with her arms open, Grace didn't hesitate to throw herself into them. "I love you sweetie." Before Grace could reply, Sara and Lily entered, looking somewhat in awe at the image of Alicia standing in front of them.

"Leelee you're a princess." Everyone laughed as Alicia diverted her attention from her daughter to turn to Lily.

"Thank you honey. Ready to go see Uncle Will?"

As they arrived at the church, she was surprised to find how calm she was. There was no apprehension, her feet were toasty and she felt like she wanted to run down the aisle straight into Wills arms. She immediately locked eyes with Owen, who was cooing a beautiful baby girl. Smiling, she made her way over to them.

"Sis, you look more beautiful at this wedding than your first one."

She laughed and swatted him on the arm, "Shut up Owen."

She took the baby in her arms, and couldn't help herself from smiling. She had Wills eyes. There was no way she could resist her. Not when _his_ eyes were looking back at her. "I'm going to love you like you're my own daughter if you'll let me baby girl. I'm going to help your daddy - cos he's going to need it - and I'm going to be there for you, whenever you need me." She kissed her lightly on the head as Grace made her way over to them, holding hands with Lily.

"It's time mom."

She handed Millie over to Grace, and grabbed Owens arm.

"Let's do this."

Will

He wasn't the type of person who got nervous. Standing in front of people didn't faze him. Talking in front of people didn't make him clammy. But right now his heart was beating faster than it ever had. As he fussed with his hands he could feel the sweat forming on them. He looked out at all the people in their seats. Too many were looking at him. He found solace in the fact that as soon as Alicia walked in no one would care about him anymore.

This is the moment he had been waiting for since the second he'd first laid eyes on her dangling her feet in the pool and laughing with her friend at Georgetown. It took a lot to get there; more than he would have liked. But it was finally happening. He was finally getting everything he had ever wanted. He took a deep breath trying to calm himself.

The music started to play.

He was vaguely aware of Zach putting his hand down on his shoulder and squeezing slightly in a show of solidarity and support. In that moment he was glad he had asked him to be his best man. He looked in to the crowd and made eye contact with his mother – who had already started to wipe tears from her face – she smiled at him encouragingly and lovingly. It was all he needed. He turned his attention to the back of the room, as the doors opened. His heart stopped beating; he surely wasn't seeing what he thought he was seeing; only he was.

Grace looked beautiful. Her dress flowed to the floor and was a dusty pink shade, which made her skin look almost as porcelain as her mothers. However, no matter how amazing she looked, it was what – or rather who – was nestled in her arms that made his heart skip a beat. Millie. Grace was looking at him with a knowing grin making his smile grow even wider. He noted the looks of confusion coming from multiple people in the crowd, but that didn't matter. He locked eyes with Kalinda's momentarily as she threw a wink in his direction. As Grace and Millie arrived in front of him, he kissed both of them before they stood to the side. The whole room was laughing at Lily practically dancing down the aisle throwing rose petals as she went. And then it was time. His gaze locked on the door at the end of the room. He was almost bouncing in anticipation. As soon as they opened he knew that no moment – no matter how spectacular – would ever beat this one. She was breath taking.

As she walked down the aisle with Owen by her side, a devilish grin spread across her face as they made eye contact and she winked at him. He found it hard to reign in some composure. Alicia in red is sexy. Alicia in blue is beautiful; but Alicia in white? Alicia in white is life changing. He wished he could live the moment when he first saw her enter the room over and over again. The way her dress grazed over her curves perfectly, the way the white in the dress made her porcelain skin glow even more than usual, how her hair pinned up out of her face accentuated her beauty, how the smile stuck on her face made his breath catch; she was flawless. Of course, he always knew she was.

The minute she arrived in front of him, he was at a loss for words. He watched as she placed a palm on the side of his face, smiled and leant down to whisper "I love you" in his ear before she took her place by his side. That was all it took to snap him back in to the present.

As the priest spoke, he found it harder and harder to concentrate on what he was saying. He wanted everything to hurry up. He just wanted her to be his wife. He didn't want to sing a hymn or say a prayer. He just wanted for them to finally be married. He felt his mind drifting to all the moments he had been with her. All the moments he'd wanted to kiss her, make her his, marry her. He smiled to himself as their past pulled him from his present.

_It was cold. The snow was falling heavy and he was glad that he was able to seek some comfort in being indoors. Even studying was better than the snow. He looked over at Alicia and chuckled quietly to himself. She was sat within a circle of books, staring out of the window with a dreamy look on her face. He was always moved by how truly beautiful she was. As he continued to stare at her, he nearly missed her spinning her head around to him with a smirk on her face._

"_Let's go for a walk."_

"_Are you kidding me Leesh? You know I don't do snow."_

"_Please Will ... pleeeeaseee?" _

_She pouted her lips and looked up at him through her eyelashes. If it wasn't so damn cute, he would have found it annoying._

"_Fine. But you owe me."_

_They both wrapped up warm and headed outdoors. As they walked around the campus they talked about anything and everything. Every obscure statement she made got him to fall deeper. With every subtle movement she made, he felt his own body fall in line. He sighed contently when she grabbed his arm and linked it with hers before placing her head on his shoulder and continuing to walk. He allowed himself to think something he always tried to push away ... he imagined that she was his; not Peters. He imagined she loved him in the way that he expected he loved her. They walked a bit further and he was startled as she came to an abrupt halt. She turned to him, smiled and placed her lips to his. It was fleeting. It was soft; it was ... perfect. He watched in awe, unable to find words as she lifted her hand to her lips and smiled. He looked at her questioningly._

"_I just wanted to know what it felt like."_

_With that she smiled, linked her arm back through his and continued walking._

_And that's when he knew. That's when he knew that he was in love for the first time. Will Gardner, was head over heels, in love with Alicia Cavanaugh._

And then he heard the dreaded words; "the couple have written their own vows. Will, you will go first." He suddenly felt thirsty. He felt like his mouth had dried and he wouldn't be able to speak. He felt himself getting hotter. He turned to Alicia and that it was all it took. Suddenly his mind was clearer than it had ever been. He knew exactly what he needed to say.

"Since the moment I saw you checking me out from the opposite side of the pool at Georgetown, I knew. I knew a few months later when I saw how fierce you were whilst verbally attacking other students in class. I knew when we'd study together and when I'd look up to stare at you and you'd already be looking at me. I knew when you kissed me in the snow for the first time ever. I knew 6 years ago when I kissed you for the first time in 15 years. I knew every time you smiled at me in passing at the office. I knew every time we've argued in court over the last couple of years. I knew when I saw you with my family a month ago and I knew the moment those doors opened and I saw you looking more breath taking than I could ever imagine anyone could look. I love you Alicia. I've loved you for 21 long years. And I promise to love you for the rest of our lives. I can't promise it will always be perfect or that you won't want to punch me sometimes ... but I can promise you that I will _always_ love you."

He placed her ring on her finger and felt his heart immediately fill with joy. He promised himself that he wouldn't cry, but when he looked up at Alicia and saw a solitary tear roll down her cheek, he knew he was very close. He raised his hand to wipe her tear and almost yelped as he felt her pull him to her for a kiss before she turned and apologised to the priest, much to the amusement of everyone in the church.

He studied her as she closed her eyes, took a deep breath and then opened her eyes slowly, immediately seeking his with a slight smile on her face.

"How am I supposed to follow that Gardner?" She chuckled, as did multiple people sitting behind them. "When I came to meet your family a month ago, you saw your mum and I talking, and practically begged me to tell you what it was about and I did ... half of it anyway. She didn't just tell me that you said you wanted to change for me; she told me that you said you wanted to marry me. 21 years ago and you already knew we'd end up here. We've been thrown so many curveballs that it's hard to believe either of us actually_ are_ here, but that's the thing about love. It doesn't have a plan. We all know how crazy I am for having plans ... but something about being in love with you makes me forget all my neurotic tendencies. Being with you makes me want to live in a way I never have. I want to take every curveball and run with it, live every day with you as if it were our last and never ever let you go again. I'm going to annoy you, I'm going to do things you don't like and I probably _am_ going to punch you occasionally ... but I'm also going to love you unconditionally every damn day for the rest of our lives. "

He closed his eyes trying to compose himself but it was futile. He opened his eyes as he felt a ring being placed on his finger. It felt right. Alicia was grinning from ear to ear with a steady flow of tears running down her face. He'd hardly registered the priest saying the words every couple waited for before he felt her lips attacking his. It was the second best kiss of his life; the first being their first.

He was married. Will Gardner; Chicago's 16th most eligible bachelor was no longer a bachelor. It felt more right than anything in his life ever had.

Alicia

It felt like the day was moving too fast. She barely had time to sit and take everything in. But it was perfect. Will was finally hers in every way possible. They were bound to one another. And as much as she still wanted to kick his ass, she couldn't stop the tears that started to run down her cheeks as she saw Will happily spinning around with his daughter on the dance floor. Everything was perfect; maybe too perfect. She felt as though there had to be a catch, there was no way this was her life. And then the catch walked onto the stage and tapped on the mic ... Owen.

"Ahem, ladies and gents take your seats ... I'm making a speech."

Will took a seat next to her and grabbed her hand, smirking knowingly. She groaned loudly. Owen was anything but subtle. If she knew her brother, this wouldn't be a lovey dovey "I'm so happy for my little sister" speech. It would be an embarrassing one that would get laughs from everyone and cause her cheeks to burn red. Will squeezed her arm and she forced herself to look up at the stage as Owen saluted at her and he hid her face in Will's shoulder.

"It's okay Leesh, I'm not going to tell them about what I heard coming from your room in the early hours of the morning. What happens between you and your husband stays between you and your husband." He threw an exaggerated wink in her direction gaining laughs from pretty much the whole room. "My big sis was always the good one when we were growing up. I always used to ask her to cover for me so I could sneak out and then I'd get caught and she'd get more punishment than me. She gave our parents this huge speech about how she was being unfairly punished and asking why they could do it to her and not me ... I think she's always been a lawyer. She fled the nest as soon as she could. And she got to Georgetown and met Mr Georgetown." He gestured to Will, again making most of the people in the room laugh. "That was her nickname for Will. It would have been adorable if it wasn't so lame. She used to write about him in her letters ... and it just so happens that I have one here with me ... '_Dear Owen, things are crazy here. I kissed Mr Georgetown. I kissed him. Me. I made the move. It was perfect so perfect that I want to do it again. Every single damn day! I told Peter he can't come to visit this weekend. I'm going to bury my guilt in Tequila.' _It made me laugh so much cos I really didn't like Peter. So then, years and years later, she's back working with Will and going to any lengths possible to help him. Literally, we were on a road trip and she made me pull over the car so she could stand on the roof to get signal to talk to him on the phone. It was ridiculous." She looked up at Will and he was already looking down at her with a cocky grin on his face. He lifted her hand and planted a soft kiss on it. "But anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is, I think my sis has been in love with Will Gardner for over 20 years, and if it can last that long, it can last forever. So, if you'd all like to raise a glass? To Mr and Mrs Georgetown!"

Everyone cheered and Alicia felt her heartbeat start to slow down in relief as her brother left the stage. She knew it could have been _a lot _worse. She turned to Will who looked like he had thoroughly enjoyed every second of her brothers speech, which didn't really surprise her.

"You stood on a car roof to get signal?" She noted the smug look on his face and couldn't stop herself from laughing. She nodded, embarrassed, as Will lowered his lips to hers.

The rest of the speeches passed in a blur. Zach made a point of pointing out how lame Will had been when they first met. Grace talked about how she encouraged her mom to buy a dress she knew would make Will jealous. Diane talked about how useless and lovesick Will had been after Alicia left the firm and Wills sisters talked about how they thought their brother would be a bachelor for life. It was all too perfect for words. But it was busy. She barely had a second to breathe and take everything in. So many people approached her that she felt as though she had very little time to actually enjoy her day; that is until the first dance. She walked on to the dance floor to Will who was already waiting for her with open arms. She fell into his arms and wished she had been there all day.

"Did I already tell you how beautiful you are Mrs Gardner?" He leant into her, placing a soft kiss on her lips.

"Say that again."

He placed his lips at her ear, lowering his voice to a whisper, "Mrs Gardner."

She sighed contentedly and pulled herself closer to him, feeling happier than she maybe ever had. It felt like they had only been dancing a few seconds when someone tried to cut in. She didn't want to let Will go, but when she turned and saw it was Zach, she practically pushed Will away and grabbed onto her son, pulling him in to a tight hug.

"I love you sweetie. Your speech was brilliant."

"Thanks mom, glad you liked it. And I'm glad you're happy now. I know you weren't with dad, so I'm glad you are with Will. And I love you too, mom."

She pulled him in tighter, not able to contain the smile that invaded her face.

When it was time for them to leave, she held her kids for as long as she could. They may not be babies anymore, but they would _always _be her babies.

"So until your dad get's home, you be good for Owen. And keep an eye on him; don't let him cause too much trouble."

They all laughed as Will took his place by her side and she reluctantly let go of her children. The mandatory confetti throw took place as they made their way to the car. No sooner than they had taken their seats in the car had their lips found each others.

They were staying the night at a hotel in the city before leaving for their honeymoon the next morning. Will still hadn't let slip the location, but she was okay with that. As they arrived at the room, she stood at the large window, looking at the view whilst admiring the ring that now sat on her finger; a ring that probably should have been sitting there for the last 20 years. She felt hands land on her waist and roam slowly over her curves.

"I've been thinking about getting you out of this dress since the second I laid eyes on you."

She shivered as his fingers moved up and down her spine, landing at her shoulders. He slowly placed his fingers under the lace that lay there slipping the material off her skin. She heard him gasp as he got his first glimpse of the red that lay beneath and she chuckled to herself. She felt the dress fall to a pool at her feet, but felt no movement from the man behind her.

"See something you like hubby?"

She felt his hands move to her hips as he spun her around to face him. He started kissing her, breaking away only so that he could move his lips to her neck and then her shoulders, moving lower with each kiss. "I could do this forever."

"Well then it's lucky that we have forever."

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**A/N – I'm not too happy with this chapter, I rewrote the vows about 10 times. But I gave up. So I hope you enjoy it! I only have 2 chapters left; "The Honeymoon Period" and "The Happily Ever After". I've been quite speedy with updates lately but I think the next two may take a bit longer ... try to be patient with me haha! Thanks for the lovelyyy reviews!**


	15. The Honeymoon Period

**A/N - Sorry this has taken so long, I had computer difficulties ... I place all blame on my "technological ineptness." Enjoy! Also, someone just messaged me asking about the word "pram", it's a buggy/stroller.**

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Alicia

The sound of the apartment door slamming closed echoed through the air. She shook her head and let out a mocking laugh. Without turning back, she walked towards her room. She vaguely heard Will say something, but it was drowned out but the sound of her slamming the door. She sat at the edge of her bed, kicked off her shoes and lay back; sinking her head into her pillows and closing her eyes. If there was ever proof that her and Will had bad timing; this was it. She sighed loudly, shook her head and headed to her closet.

_She woke up content, feeling a smile on her face; a smile put there hours before by her husband. She smiled deviously to herself as she remembered the past few hours; whispered words, smooth caresses, loud uninhibited moans, passionate kisses; it was perfect. She was unsure how she would make it through 2 more weeks of sex at this point; she smiled to herself imagining how she would try._

_As she rolled over, her arm hit an empty space; an empty space where Will should have been. She could hear him talking in the distance and felt confused as to whom he possibly could have needed to be speaking to; she stretched, wrapped her - still naked - body in the quilt and followed his voice. Since they had arrived in the south of France she had felt nothing but bliss. It was just them. There were no distractions; no partners, no family, no clients, no babies and no Tammy. But as she arrived at the balcony door, and saw Will fully dressed and pacing back and forth, she knew immediately that something was up. Something in his hushed tone and defeated demeanour stopped her from approaching him. Her mind spun, but eventually she managed to convince herself to go to him. As she took her first step out, his words froze her in her spot._

_"Tam, I'm on my honeymoon. Don't do this."_

_She watched as he started pacing again. He sighed loudly as if losing all resolve. _

_"Okay fine. I'll talk to Alicia; she'll probably be fine with it though. If all is good we'll be back in a few days. Okay Tam, yeah see you soon."_

_She watched him toss the phone down and walk over to the railing. As juvenile as she knew it was, she hated that he didn't even sense her presence there as he once would have. She considered going back to bed and pretending she hadn't heard a single word he had said. But what good would that be? She took a deep breath, preparing herself for the downfall she was about to face._

_"So, you've decided we're leaving in a few days?"_

_She watched as he swung around, clearly caught off guard and she saw a face full of uncertainty. His eyes looked as though he were fighting some internal battle; and she supposed he probably was. _

_"Tammy has to go away for work and there's no one to have Millie, she's my daughter, what am I supposed to do?"_

_"And I, am your wife Will. Do you even know what that means? You should have asked me." _

_"This is what being a parent is about isn't it? Dropping everything to be there for your child?"_

_"Oh. So that's it huh? You're dropping me too? Tammy calls and you go running? She could have said no Will, she didn't have to work; she chose to work. She's not a surgeon, she's not out there saving lives ... she's a sports journalist for Christ's sake."_

_"There was no one else to go. You're over reacting. We can go away again."_

_"I'm over reacting? Fine Will, that's just fine."_

_She turned on her heel, back toward the bedroom and headed straight for the closet, grabbing her suitcase on the way._

_"Cummon Leesh, what are you doing? Don't be stupid."_

_"Why wait a few days? We might as well just go now."_

"Alicia? Are you even listening to me?"

It was the first time she'd even been aware of his presence in the room. She continued to ignore him, grabbing a suit from her wardrobe and going to the bathroom. She could hear him shouting at her from the other side of the door, but she had lost the will to fight. She was supposed to be on her honeymoon with the man she had - only a week earlier - vowed to love for the rest of her life. Instead, she was home, pissed off and needing to vent. Where better to release her frustrations than in a courtroom?

She checked her appearance in the mirror. She wasn't as sun-kissed as she would have hoped after her honeymoon, but there was nothing she could do about that now. She sighed, and opened the door to see Will sat on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands. He looked up and she noted the look of confusion on his face when he saw her fully dressed.

"Leesh, where are you going?"

"Where do you think I'm going? The honeymoons over ... time to go back to work."

She snatched her bag off the bed, and headed to the door without looking back.

She arrived at work gaining quizzical looks from everyone in the area. Bypassing her own office, she headed straight for Cary's, slouching down in the chair opposite him. He looked up from his papers and pulled his eyebrows together in confusion.

"Either I've been working too hard, and 3 weeks has flown by without me noticing; or you're not supposed to be here."

She hated herself for it, but she felt tears threatening to escape her eyes. She didn't want to be weak; especially in front of Cary. But it wasn't as if he hadn't seen her at her worst before. She felt one sly tear slide down her cheek as she looked up at her partner and gave him a weak smile.

"I don't want to talk about. I just want to work. Please tell me you're going to court today? I _need_ to wipe the floor with someone."

He chuckled slightly, smiling at her with concern written all over his face, "funnily enough, I'm heading to court in 2 hours ... against David Lee. Read over the case file and we'll go."

A wicked smile took over her face, much to the amusement of Cary. A slanging match with David Lee was _exactly_ what she needed. It was like fate.

2 hours later she marched into court wearing her pissed off mood as armour. She smirked over at David as she took her seat. He looked taken back to see her there, but she knew he wouldn't care; not unless she made him. David was cocky enough to think he could win against anyone. But not today; not against her. She wouldn't let that happen.

"Good morning David, lovely to see you. Don't get too comfy. I don't think this will take long."

With that, she smirked again and took her seat.

Will 

He didn't know what to do other than let her go. He knew once Alicia had her mind set on something that there was no deterring her from her plan. He led back on the bed, putting his hands over his face. He knew that agreeing to come home early was a mistake; he knew it would hurt Alicia but he didn't want to be a part time dad. He didn't want to be the kind of dad who doesn't step up. He wanted his little girl to idolise him and to love him as he would love her, not in a token way. Not in the way that a kid loves their favourite uncle. He knew in that moment that he would always step up; in any given situation. He just hoped that Alicia would stay by his side. He knew he couldn't do it without her.

He called Tammy, told her his plans and set out to her apartment. He decided to walk, hoping that the cold Chicago air would clear his mind. When he got to Tammy's door, he could hear Millie screaming inside; it turned his stomach. He knocked the door and as it swung open he was shocked by the dishevelled woman in front of him. Tammy was always so put together that it was a shock to see her looking such a shambles. She smiled; looking relieved to see him and held the door wider for him to enter the apartment. His eyes grew wide as he took in the space around him. There were toys everywhere, clothes everywhere, and food covering multiple surfaces ... it was a mess; much like its occupant. He moved immediately to Millie's room, finding his still crying daughter and taking her into his arms.

He saw Tammy move slowly into the room, watching him hold their daughter. She stopped crying quickly and he heard Tammy sigh.

"You know Will, I think she prefers you."

"Don't be stupid. She hardly even knows me."

He heard her mumble something unintelligible as she sauntered out of the room making him roll his eyes in her general direction. He looked down at his daughter in his arms and felt content. Tammy's problem was exactly that; _her_ problem. He gathered all of Millie's things as quickly as he could, not wanting to stay around for too long.

He walked out and found her sat at the kitchen counter, reading a magazine. He was amazed that she hadn't even asked if he had everything he needed. She didn't even seem concerned that she wasn't going to see her daughter for god knows how long. It occurred to him then that he wasn't even aware of how long he had her with him.

"So how long did you say you were working Tam?"

"Oh um, I don't know actually. I'm going later ... and then they'll um, they'll let me know."

As baffled as he may have been by her answer or rather the lack of one, he didn't push it. He handed her daughter to her for her to say her goodbyes, watched as she placed her in her pram, and then he was leaving; telling her that she could call any time.

As he walked, he thought about how his life had changed so dramatically in such a short amount of time. He was a husband, a father and a step father. It was a huge weight hanging on his shoulders. He knew Zach and Grace were practically adults and asked for nothing since they had their own father – no matter how hopeless he was – but he still wanted to be the best he could be for them. Millie – she had no idea what a mess she had been born into. She'd have 2 homes, 2 moms, 2 dads, she'd be pulled back and forth between both families; it wasn't ideal. He hated that that was the reality of the situation. And then there was Alicia. He loved her without trying. Loving her was like breathing to him; it was inevitable; it was automatic. He would do everything he could to keep her, despite all the chaos that would definitely be thrown their way because he couldn't bear to face life without her by his side; holding him steady. And it was as simple as that.

Except it wasn't simple; it never was.

Nothing about him and Alicia had ever been simple. But he had to believe that they would find their way. Because he did believe that she was his forever. There was no looking back, no turning away and no quitting; not this time. He was determined to make her see that. He knew she was upset right now. He knew he'd made a huge mistake and ruined what should have been one of the most important times they would spend together, but he would vow to make it up to her. He would do anything it took to make her forgive him; anything.

He hadn't realised how long he had been walking, or even where he had been walking to until he looked up and saw he was in front of LG. The walk to his office felt endless as it seemed as though every staff member stopped him to gush over how adorable his daughter was. He agreed with them – of course – but he just wanted to get to the comfort of his own space.

As he sat on his sofa, he turned Mills pram to face him. Finding that she was fast asleep, he laid his head back on the sofa and closed his eyes. He felt as though he were drifting off as he heard David Lee's loud and clearly agitated voice echoing in the corridor.

"What the _hell_ have you done to your wife?"

He was confused, but couldn't stop the chuckle that left his mouth as he looked as David's clearly unhappy face. Whatever Alicia had done, he was silently cheering for her.

"Well hello David, thank you for the cheery welcome back. I take it you've seen Alicia today?"

"She was in court and she was ridiculous. I couldn't get a word in edgewise. Whatever you have done fix it, because I can't deal with her being pissed off. It clearly fuels her. I do not like being made a fool of."

"Oh so she beat you? That's why you've barged in here like a bat out of hell?"

David threw him a look of disdain as he barged past Diane - who had appeared at the door - and down the hallway. He couldn't hold in his laughter. It was the happiest he had felt all day.

"What did you do to David?"

Will laughed again, as he looked at Diane's clearly amused face.

"I didn't do anything, Alicia did apparently. She beat him in court. Probably took her anger for me out on him." he felt his laughter and amusement die slightly, but allowed himself a small smile as he looked at Diane and gestured for her to take a seat.

"So you're here with this little cutie, but you're not supposed to be back for another 2 weeks?"

"Tammy needed me to have Millie ... I couldn't say no. Alicia was ... _is_ pissed. But we'll get through."

Diane nodded, not commenting on the matter at hand. He assumed it was probably because she would have been just as annoyed or hurt as Alicia. He tried to put that out of his mind and instead, decided to sit and talk business. He watched the clock, knowing that sooner or later, he would have to face his reality and go home.

Alicia

When she walked through the door, she heard the TV playing and was immediately relieved that Will hadn't left. As Angry and disappointed as she may be with him, the thought of being without him was unbearable. Closing the Short distance from the door to the living room, she tried to think of what to say; something to diffuse the tension; something to make everything right, but she kept coming up short. The only thing left to do was apologise, and hope that he could accept it.

"Will, I'm so sor... Zach?"

The last thing she had expected was to find her son with his feet up, pizza on his lap, watching some god awful programme on TV, but she was glad he was there.

"Hey mom, pizza?"

She sat next to him on the couch, leaning over to take a slice of pizza, he looked at her knowingly and she assumed he'd already spoken to Owen; the brother with the biggest mouth in America.

"So since you're here and not with Owen or at Georgetown, I'm guessing you know what's going on?"

"All I know is that my mom had to come home early from her honeymoon, and I wanted to make sure she was okay."

She almost let out a sob. It amazed her how well her kids had grown up. She always used to be so preoccupied with keeping them sheltered from everything; hoping that they wouldn't see something that would break them. She never stopped to consider the fact that her kids are a lot stronger than she had ever given them credit for; maybe even stronger than her.

"Oh you're so cute! Come here."

"Cute? Seriously mom?"

"Sweetie, I don't c are how old you get, you're my little boy and you're cute. Now, when are you leaving me?"

She pulled him closer, letting him rest his head on her shoulder as she repeatedly smoothed his hair; loving that he still let her baby him like this.

"I'm just here for the night, wanted to make sure you were okay. Grace is coming over later too, we thought a movie night? Is Will gunna be here?"

It was the first time she'd thought about Will since she'd seen Zach sat where she'd expected to find _him_. It was also the first time that it had occurred to her that she really had no idea where Will was. What a great start to a marriage. The husband is off the grid; probably with his baby mama, and the wife is being consoled by her son; fantastic.

"Actually honey, I don't know. I haven't heard from him in a while ... I hope he'll be here."

He looked thoughtful for a second before answering, "I think Will would always be here as long as you wanted him to be here mom."

She smiled at her son, marvelling at how mature he was becoming. "I'm sure he'll be here. He may be picking up Millie, I think she's staying here for while..." She looked over at Zach, trying to gage his reaction; picking up on nothing.

"So that's why you're home early, he's gotta look after Mills?"

She nodded slowly as she heard the door open. Zach looked at her and smiled. He squeezed her hand and made his excuse to head to his bedroom, nodding at Will and kissing Millie on the cheek on his way.

Will rounded the corner, and smiled somewhat timidly at her. She couldn't help but smile back. He looked unsure of what to do, but started to move over to her.

"So, you saw David Lee today?" he asked, with a smirk.

She laughed, louder than she expected at the question; replaying her hour in court with him over in her mind.

"He told you?"

"Oh he told the whole firm how ruthless and pissed off you were." He laughed again but it didn't reach his eyes. She smiled over at him again, as he moved to sit next to her on the sofa. It was apparent that neither really knew what to say. But she loved how awkward and nervous he was. The adorableness of it almost made her forgive him completely. How could she stay mad?

"I hope its okay we're here, I thought she'd prefer it at your place, it's cosier ... but we can go to mine if you'd prefer?"

She looked at him and noted the look of pain on his face and felt a wave of guilt wash over her. Why was she being so childish and selfish? Why was she letting her own feelings eclipse his? Sure the situation wasn't ideal but what marriage is ideal 100% of the time?

"Gardner, enough of the 'my place' and the 'your place' ... we're married. What's mine if yours and all that jazz. Now give Mills to me and go and have a shower. You look like hell. Me and this little angel can manage without you for a bit can't we sweetheart?"

She laughed as he looked at her quizzically. He had clearly spent his day readying for a battle.

"I love you."

"I know you do. Now hand me that beautiful little girl, and go and sort yourself out. It's movie night in the Gardner household later."

She watched as his small smile grew wider, clearly appreciating the use of his last name. As he leant over to pass her Millie he left a small, but loving, kiss on her lips.

She sat on the floor, with her back leaning against the couch, cradling Millie in her arms and trying to get a smile out of her by pulling ridiculous faces. At some point Zach had joined her, both of them looking equally as ludicrous as the other whilst face pulling.

It brought back so many memories for her. She had never imagined that she would be here again; raising another child. Even though it was different this time, it was still kind of daunting. She knew Will would need her, and she was going to be there for him. But she was also going to be there for the little girl - who was currently nestled in her arms - that she was afraid she was already rather besotted with.

They both paused as there was a knock at the door.

"It's probably Grace; you know what she's like with her key." Alicia shook her head, laughing slightly, and went to answer it, still cooing Millie and smiling at her giddily. As she opened the door and saw who was standing in front of her, her eyebrows pulled together in confusion. She couldn't find words; not even a friendly greeting. She felt Will approaching before she heard him;

"Tammy? You're supposed to be in Canada?"

"We need to talk Will. Right now."  



	16. The Happily Ever After

She sat on the bench, feeling the cool spring air whip around her face and blowing her hair in all directions. She watched as her daughter ran in the distance, laughing and smiling; carefree. She smiled to herself, truly content with how her life had finally turned out. There was a time once when she felt like all the negativity in her life was going to overshadow all the happiness; it wasn't like that anymore though; there was no negativity.

Getting here had been hard. This place of happiness that she resounds in was overwhelming, peaceful and beautiful all at the same time. She had never pictured her life turning out this way. There were times when it felt like if the walls weren't moving in on her, they were crumbling down around her; threatening to bury her. Her family had changed that; love had changed that. She sighed; _Will _had changed that. He changed her whole life. He brought complications, chaos, happiness and all consuming love. There may have been roadblocks in the form of Peter, Tammy, Finn and even Millie along the way ... but road blocks don't last forever. Eventually they are removed; leaving everything calm and tranquil. That was her life now. She laughed to herself quietly as Millie shouted in the distance; _maybe not as calm and tranquil as she thought. _She loved Millie. She loved her as if she was her own and to anyone outside of the family, she _was_ her own.

_She watched as Will stood in the doorway with a confused look on his face. He glanced toward her before looking back to Tammy and inviting her in. She seemed uncomfortable, irritable and extremely dishevelled. They all walked to the living room in silence. Alicia was still holding Millie tightly as she took her seat on the sofa and she couldn't help but take note of the fact that Tammy hadn't looked in her beautiful baby's direction at all; not even once. Will settled in next to Alicia, inviting Tammy to sit and growing more confused when she refused._

"_I'm not staying long."_

_She watched as Wills eyebrows pulled together, "Well then, why are you here Tam? As far as I knew you were going to work in Canada? I'm starting to think that was a lie."_

"_It was. I just wanted you to take her." Alicia felt herself cringe. How could a mother of such an enchanting little girl, say that about her daughter? It was foreign to her. Loving her kids had always been unconditional. She never had to think about it or doubt it; it just was. _

"_You wanted me to take her? You called me to leave my honeymoon, because you wanted a break?"_

"_No I don't want a break."_

_Suddenly everything was clear to Alicia. She wanted him to take her. She wanted him to keep her. She could feel Will getting tense and agitated next to her but still wasn't sure if he had fully grasped the situation they were facing or where this conversation was going. _

"_Use your words Tammy."_

"_I don't want her. I never did. I never wanted to be a mom; I only am because by the time I found out it was already too late to do anything about it." _

_She felt Will stiffen next to her as he took a large breath. She instinctively pulled Millie in closer to her as her stomach turned. She may not have been happy about the situation the unexpected baby had put her and Will in, but she never would have begrudged her life. _

_Will seemed stunned in to silence and she moved her hand on top of his, giving it a gentle squeeze. No one said anything. The silence filled the room and washed over all of them like a tsunami as they all digested Tammy's last words. But really, what was there to say? Tammy cleared her throat and both Wills and her own eyes moved directly to Tammy's. _

"_There's a bag of stuff ... in the hall, in case you want it."_

_Alicia turned her head to face Will and saw that the full reality of the situation had finally sunk in. He looked as angry as she felt. Tammy turned on her heel and headed for the door without another word. Will sprung from his seat to follow her, shouting as he went but it was no use._

_Alicia stood - Millie now sleeping soundly in her arms –and moved to Will. He was stood at the door, a bag of his daughters belongings at his feet, his head hanging low as he held on to the door frame._

"_She left. She left her daughter. How could she do that Leesh? How could she just leave her without a mom?"_

_Alicia felt herself bristle slightly at the comment. She knew Will didn't mean it in the way she had taken it, but it still affected her. As soon as she had realised Tammy's intentions, she had already claimed Millie as her own. _

"_She was over-whelmed Will. Of course I'm furious at her and I don't understand how a woman could just give up her baby like this, but she was a fish out of water. She clearly never wanted to be a mom in the first place."_

"_It doesn't matter if she wanted it Leesh. She is a mom. It's not a technicality; it's not rhetorical. She's a mother." She looked up to see tears forming in his eyes as she took his hand and led him back to the sofa. _

"_Will honey, I know you're angry, but it's going to be okay" She gestured to him, herself and Millie before continuing; "we're going to be okay."He leaned over and placed a soft kiss on her lips. _

"_I know you probably don't want this Leesh. You've done this already."_

_She felt a smile tugging at her lips; memories of raising her children still so evident in her mind._

"_Yeah, I have already done this, and I loved it Will, but I never got to do it with you. I never got to raise a family with you like I had imagined doing so many times. We can do this, I'll be her mom and I'll love her so much that I'll probably smother her. But I'm in this with you Will. I already can't imagine not having her here with us."_

_They held eye contact, smiling to each other. Both knowing it was going to be hard; both ready for the challenge. _

"What are you thinking about?"

She felt two strong arms wrap tenderly around her neck and warm breath caressing her cheek.

"Millie. You. Us."

He chuckled slightly, "Ah so all good stuff then?"

She felt him move to sit next to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and pulling her close to him. She felt her body react immediately to his closeness. She smiled to herself; half amazed that he still had this effect on her and half wishing they weren't out in the open.

"_Good_ stuff? _Amazing _stuff. Don't sell yourself short Mr Gardner."

She looked up at him and winked causing him to laugh as he leant down to press his lips to hers.

"Happy anniversary my love."

He leant in and kissed her again, this time more passionately. She was never one for pda, but with Will she seemed to throw all of her reservations out the window.

He pulled away as she groaned in protest, enticing a loud chuckle from her husband.

10 years. 10 years of being married to the most spectacular man she had ever met. He had changed her life so inconceivably. Everything she once thought shifted. They breathed in sync. She felt a small chill run down her spine as she pulled herself in closer to him unable to let go of the smile cemented to her lips.

"We better get going soon if we're going to make our reservations."

"But you just got here Will. Mills is playing with her kite."

She gave him her best puppy dog eyes whilst pouting her lips like a child. They both laughed as at that exact moment, the kite fell onto their daughters head.

"Not successfully. But common Leesh, 10 years, it's a big deal."

She pouted slightly; "Should have been 30."

"And it will be one day."

She looked up at him grinning like a small child and pulled him into yet another deep and passionate kiss; never wanting to part. She knew that the feel of his lips on hers would never get old. She would never tire of the way he made her feel. There was no way she could ever stop wanting him. She had struggled with it too often when they were apart to even imagine letting it happen now.

"YUCK! Stop it. That's gross."

They begrudgingly pulled apart from one another and both laughed at their daughter stood in front of them with a disgusted look on her face. They each took one of her small hands, and started walking back toward their home.

It was an old house; not too big and not too small. Vines grew up the sides of it giving it a rustic feel. Alicia had fallen in love with it the moment they had viewed it. It bared no resemblance to a life either of them had previously lived. It wasn't ostentatious like her Highland Park home, it wasn't cramped like her apartment and it wasn't a bachelor pad like Wills. It was perfect; it was a _home ... their _home_. _

Immediately as she walked into her house, her heart warmed as her eyes fell on the photos covering the walls in the entrance hall. Friends, loved ones, family; all smiling, all happy. And as she turned the corner, her heart swelled as she was confronted with all the people she loved, all there for her and for Will; to celebrate their love together. She looked up at her husband, who was grinning like a Cheshire cat ; clearly proud of himself for keeping the secret. He squeezed her hand and let go, letting her move into the room and surround herself with the people that mattered the most to her.

She smiled without delay as her son walked toward her, a gift in one hand and his other resting lightly on his wife's back; ushering her forward. Alicia's eyes instantly landed on her swollen belly, making her smile grow wider. He pulled her into a tight hug, wishing her a happy anniversary before she stepped out of his arms and pulled Anna into them, placing a hand on her belly and smiling uncontrollably at the gift they were already giving her.

"_Hey mom."_

_She looked up from her trial notes, to see her son standing in front of her wearing an award winning smile._

"_Hi honey. What's with the goofy smile?"_

_He smiled so big and so passionately that it lit up his whole face and she could tell that whatever he was about to share with her, was something he cared deeply about; something life changing. _

"_How would you feel if someone started calling you grandma in about 9 months?"_

_Her eyes widened as she took in his excited expression. The notes she was previously holding fell to the floor and she jumped up screeching and wrapped her arms around her eldest child. _

"_My baby's having a baby."_

"_I don't think you can call me your baby when I have one of my own mom."_

_She nudged his shoulder and laughed "You're always going to be my baby."_

As she let go of her daughter in law, her eyes immediately started searching for Grace. Her heart sank when she couldn't find her.

"Grace?"

"She's working, but she'll be here soon, she promised."

Alicia turned to fix Will with a glacial stare, one that could easily freeze the sun.

"What? Her boss couldn't give her some time off?"

Will laughed, "Honey, I'm not her only boss." He raised an eyebrow at her knowingly and try as she might, she couldn't help but laugh.

They had merged 4 years ago and at the time it had been the best decision of their life. Battling it out against each other in court and then coming home to live with each other turned out to be a lot harder than they had ever imagined. It was both emotionally and mentally exhausting. They couldn't come home and talk about their day at work. They couldn't discuss clients; they couldn't discuss anything. The opportunity for them to finally come together was a God send. It may have been bumpy at first; but the bumps are what make life interesting.

She saw Diane walking toward her with a smile on her face and a glass of red wine in each hand.

_Her phone rang out loudly - pulling her out of her midday daze - as she sat in her office. She looked at the name on the screen and smiled._

"_Hello dearest husband of mine. What can I do for you?"_

"_I can think of many things you could do for me Alicia, but right now, I want you to come in for a meeting."_

_She raised an eyebrow. It definitely wasn't the answer she was expecting he would say; but she was intrigued. Right now was one of the very few times they actually had no clients going head to head so she had already ruled out it being about clients. Confused as to what he could want, she agreed to head over as soon as she could. _

_Over the last few years, her presence at LG had become expected. When she first left and had to return to the building for work purposes, she was like a disease. No one wanted to get to close to her. No one wanted to be associated with her betrayal. But everything was different now. She smiled and waved at the staff as she walked the all too familiar path to Wills office surprisingly, finding it empty. She walked in, saw his briefcase by his desk and his mug on the table and knew immediately that he was still in building somewhere. She turned slowly and saw him, sat with his back toward her in Diane's office. She smiled and walked over._

_Diane grinned and stood immediately to greet her as Will turned slightly in his chair. She walked over, moved her hand along his shoulder and took a seat next to him. They talked for a short while; Diane shared about her fishing trip, Will gossiped about the latest office drama. It was all very entertaining but never about her purpose for being there which made her more and more frustrated by the second. Diane was in the middle of telling a story when she interrupted._

"_Why am I here?"_

_Diane and Will looked at each other and laughed at her bluntness._

"_Sorry Diane, for interrupting, but you're both being too cryptic. You obviously called me here for a reason; so get on with it. I have a firm to get back to running." She laughed, trying to elude a playful tone, taking away the seriousness that her accusations were laced with._

_Will looked at Diane and nodded at her, raising a hand as a gesture for her to continue._

"_I'll get straight to the point. I'm going to be a judge." The smile on Alicia's face was large and instantaneous as she leapt from her seat and pulled Diane in to a hug. _

"_That means that this knucklehead, will be running this place alone; which is why we're proposing a merger."_

_Alicia felt her head nodding but didn't say anything. Personally, she knew she would accept. Working with Will everyday instead of against him would be everything. But she knew Cary had always had reservations about going back. He was her partner. He had been there for her without question since they went it alone. And she knew that if he were still against it, that she would not leave him. Even if it were what she wanted – and it was. _

_A few months down the line, everything was in place. Alicia took over Diane's office – which gave her a clear view to stare at her husband all day – and Cary settled in to a partial corner not too far from them. All of their clients were happy, their firm was the strongest in Chicago, they were branching out to New York and eventually they hired Grace as a junior associate; nepotism be damned. _

"Your Honour." She bowed slightly, laughing and taking a glass of wine from her.

Diane laughed loudly and pulled Alicia into her arms. She didn't view her as a boss or a mentor or even a friend anymore. Diane was family. She had come to realise that family wasn't about who shared blood. Family was all of the people you loved and surrounded yourself with. It was the people who made you smile or laugh. The people who came into your life but never left. And despite all the trials and tribulations, Diane had turned out to be one of those people.

She made the rounds of the room, laughing and smiling without effort. She didn't need to put on a smile and act as if she were happy as she frequently did in her last marriage; everything came naturally now because she actually was happy.

Later that night, when all the people she loved – except for Will – had left, she walked into her bedroom with an extra sway in her hips. She smiled at her husband and climbed onto the bed, straddling his hips as she had _countless _times before. But it didn't matter how many times it had happened before; it still felt new and exciting and fresh. He smirked at her, pulling her down to him and kissing her softly on the lips before brushing his lips against her neck in the exact spot that he knew drove her crazy. They both anticipated each other's movements; no matter how small or subtle. Their bodies moulded together perfectly. The air around them filled with the heat their bodies were creating as their uninhibited moans filled the room.

She lay across his chest, both breathing heavily trying to come down from their highs.

"Well done champ." She patted him twice on the shoulder, laughed and rolled off him whilst looking at the over exaggerated look of shock on his face.

"Well done? Champ?" He laughed loudly and pulled her close to him; letting her rest her head on his chest.

She drew patterns on his chest with her fingers as she felt his breathing get slower and deeper.

She didn't know what would happen 5, 10 or 20 years down the line. If her life so far had taught her anything it was that not everything has or needs a plan. It's messy, with long winding roads that take you on journeys that you never imagined you would travel. If you don't mind an adventure; it could be everything you have ever dreamed of and so much more. As far as she was concerned, her life was perfect; perfect husband, perfect children, perfect job; perfect life.

She smiled contently and pulled herself in closer to her sleeping husband.

**The End.**

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AN- So it's all over! Thanks to everyone who stuck by my attempt at a Willicia story and gave me such lovely and hilarious reviews!


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